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Persia Elder

Rumour Mill at the Hufflepuff Table

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Kat Smithson

Kat had just been eating her breakfast in a groggy silence when some yelling from the Hufflepuff table got her attention. Pipkins and Gawkrodger? Having a baby boy? "Wait... But in order to know that it's a boy, wouldn't Pipkins have to be, like, 3 months in or something?" What were their professors doing at the end of the school year?

 

Suddenly awake, Kat bolted out into the hall to share the news. "EVERYBODY! GAWKRODGER AND PIPKINS ARE HAVING A BABY BOY AND GETTING MARRIED!!" All of this was yelled at the top of her lungs.

 

WC: 97

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Alice Freerun

Alice looked at the older Slytherin with confusion.

"My what-? I know that!" she shouted at another old wrinkled Hufflepuff.

And then a first year had to mention that babies poop a lot. Breakfast ruined, babysitting dreams crashed.

 

WC: 38

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Rigel Blythe

Ugh why did he always have to get stuck with the crazy chicks. .__.

 

"You were too crying!" Rigel retorted as he caught the piece of toast in his mouth. "What the hell are you crying about?" He didn't get to say much more before another girl chimed in.

 

"Yes she did do something wrong! She's being accusatory and she just threw toast at me, and PERSIA THE SECOND YOU TAKE AN ICKLE'S SIDE YOU ARE NO LONGER COOL, SORRY."

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James Lockwood
"You sure know how to make a fellow blush, Persia." James said beaming at his mentor. That was so sweet of her. He might cry tears of happiness ;_; Edited by James Lockwood

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Duchess Winthrop
"IF I WAS CRYING, IT WAS BECAUSE YOU'RE MEAN, AND YOU YELL A LOT... AND YOU'RE UGLY ON THE INSIDE, AND OUTSIDE!" shouted back the now hypocritical first year. Duchess couldn't help it, she had to prove that she was no baby, so she shrugged her mentors consolations aside and picked up more toast. Perhaps if he caught them all with his mouth, he would shut up....

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Azalia Rod

"How charming," Azalia giggled at her pun.

 

“WHAT? KISSING MAKES BABIES?” OH MAH GAWD. Azalia was never going to kiss anyone. Ever. Unless she wanted a baby. WAIT YEAH – BABIES WERE CUTE, and she wanted one!!! “I WANT A BABY!!! WHO WANTS TO KISS ME? BABIES ARE SO CUTE!!!” Just not someone old like Gawkrodger. Then the baby might end up being old. And that would be really weird. “I know!!! They kissed twice, that’s why they’re having twins!!! Double kissing makes double babies!!!”

 

WC:: 86

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Cloe Tupper

The conversation was a gigantic downward spiral. There were now talks of wedding and baby poop. Cloe wasn’t fond of the suggestion that the Slytherin dungeons had the potential to be stinking up in the near future.

 

“Wouldn’t they make her take leave? Time off?”

 

Cloe tapped her nails on the table.

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Kai Fireblader

 

Kai was busy being broody and stuff at the Gryffindor table, thinking about kidnap, train incidents, destiny and dueling - in other words, the usual - but he had not missed the shouting-match around him. Apparently someone named Grooker was having a baby with a Coldbuck. Why did people gossip(and why was he listening?). He didn't have any comments for Hero's words, so he settled for a chuckle at her all-knowingness.

 

Who wanted a brother now? "Isn't it obvious?" His voice carried to all the house tables by some magical reason. "Trelawney!" This Hufflepuff seemed to have her genes.

 

 

WC: 100

Edited by Kai Fireblader

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Rigel Blythe
"HOW AM I MEAN? AND I AM NOT UGLY ON THE INSIDE OR THE OUTSIDE. SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT WOULD REQUIRE YOU TO KNOW ME, AND I WOULD BE PREPARED TO BET A GALLEON HERE AND NOW THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT MY FULL NAME IS, OR EVEN MY FIRST NAME FOR THAT MATTER, SO ARGUMENT INVALID. PERSIA, COME AND TAKE POINTS OFF THIS FIRST YEAR FOR THROWING TOAST." Because seriously, if she kept throwing toast at him, there was going to be a repeat of the scone incident from the year before. ._. And if there was one thing that Rigel didn't want - it was that.

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James Lockwood

The smiles ended. One of the first year girls, Azalia, started talking about wanting babies. She seemed like she really wanted one. The poor girl thought babies came from kissing. She obviously never Googled 'where do babies come from.' Poor purebloods... they had no idea how awesome the internet was. The idea of a girl forcing herself on him, with kisses, in order to have a baby didn't appeal to James and he huddled closer to Persia.

 

"Protect me from the crazies." He whispered afraid.

 

It was the first time he ever whispered.

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Hero Lancaster
Hero smirked, nudging Kai in the ribs. "Now, don't leave the lady waiting, Kai," she admonished, pointing at the girl who desperately wanted to be kissed under the illusion it would provide her with children. Merlin knew it wasn't Hero's job to crush her dreams with something stupid like facts. "Maybe you can kiss her three times and you'll have triplets! Scandalous." Edited by Hero Lancaster

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Harley Garcia
Harley wasn’t really sure where babies came from either, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t from Potions or kissing. To prove that fact, when one of the other Hufflepuff first years starting shouting about being kissed because she wanted a baby, Harley strode up to her and kissed her square on the cheek. “If kissing makes babies, that means we’ll be parents soon,” she told the girl.

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Azalia Rod

ZOMG. Someone actually kissed her! That was her first kiss! Azalia whipped her head around to reveal that it was Harley. “HARLEY!” Shoot. “Where’s the baby?!!!” It hadn’t popped out of nowhere yet. “I want to cuddle it! Does this mean I’m pregnant now? DOES THIS MEAN WE HAVE TO GET MARRIED?!”

 

Word Count: 55

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Duchess Winthrop
He was right. He had outsmarted her. It wasn't hard to do, but still, the girl felt defeated. "You're right..." she mumbled, and hung her head in shame. "I don't know you. I'm sorry..." she apologized yet again and dropped the toast on her plate. Surrendering did not mean she was a baby! "What is your name?" she inquired out of curiosity.

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Persia Elder

Before she'd even had time to blink, suddenly there were flying pieces of toast (reminiscent of the charms lesson last year), one mentee was clinging onto her for dear life, and the other was now kissing girls as if that was going to get them pregnant. And everybody seemed to be trying to get her attention.

 

"RIGEL, ARE YOU A MAN OR A MUPPET? FIGHT BACK!" she called over, whilst petting James on the head. "AND HARLEY, oh, I give up."

 

WC:81

Edited by Persia Elder

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Ellis Corcoran

Ellis winced as Duchess shouted back at the mean boy, and clung to her tighter, only to be pushed away. She looked to Charlotte dejectly. All she could do was touch her mentee lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, Duchess.” Ellis felt like she could cry now, so she hurried picked up pumpkin juice and sipped it anxiously.

 

She was thankfully distracted by another ickle who was shouting about wanting babies. Ellis went bright red as another kissed her on the cheek. “Ickles can’t have babies!” She insisted, squeakily. This could not be encouraged!

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Rigel Blythe
"Not telling," Rigel said defensively, he had totally seen through that whole strategy there. He heard Persia calling for him, but he decided that it would be better to not respond, because there was no way that he was going to give the ickle any ammo whatsoever.

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Cloe Tupper

Cloe gagged upon hearing Lancaster’s proposal. She shot the Gryffindor a glare. “Lancaster that is vile. I’m sure there’s a more suitable candidate,” for stirring up trouble…

 

Just then, a Hufflepuff jumped the gun and pecked the other one on the cheek, causing Cloe to raise her brow.

 

“Not so fast kids, that’s not how it works. Kissing on the cheeks won’t do anyone any good. You have to kiss on the lips. Am I right, Lancaster?”

 

That ought to put them off the stupid idea for good.

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Jake Greyson
It was hard to concentrate on eating when everyone was shouting so much. So Jake decided that he was just going to take his food and eat in the dueling chamber, because that seemed like a smarter idea. That way, he wouldn't have to get into a fight with anyone, nor would be potentially lose any points for his house.

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Kai Fireblader

Kai choked on the one sip of nourishment he had had all meal. More from embarrassment than from laughter, but it was funny really. He wouldn't admit it to Hero, though. "Zip it, Lancaster, or I'll kiss you." Oops. Blushing.

 

But the Hufflepuff ickle had been kissed and her dreams had been crushed. To prevent her little puff mind from questioning the absurdity of babies being created from kissing, he called to her. "MAYBE YOU ARE INFERTILE!"

WC:78

Edited by Kai Fireblader

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Megan Moonacre
Megan was above gossip, especially when it wasn't about her. But when had this conversation about Pipkins and Gawkrodger having a child turn into this ridiculous mess. Megan rolled her eyes, deciding it was best to let the first years make fools of themselves instead of being part of this madness.

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James Lockwood

Being pet on the head felt good and James did his best to not fart on his mentor. That'd be rude. Harley had kissed the girl but the crowd wanted more. One girl screamed that they needed to kiss on the lips for it to work. James knew that wasn't true but according to society, he was supposed to promote girl on girl kissing each other on the lips so he did what he thought Kerr would do.

 

"Yeah! Kiss on the lips!" Sorry Persia but man law.

 

WC: 88

Edited by James Lockwood

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Hero Lancaster

The world was ending. Hero was actually in agreement with Cloe Tupper. It was indeed cruel to offer Kai up to this poor girl, who would have no idea what kind of awful DNA bond she'd be getting into. "Tupper is correct, of course," she acknowledged, deciding she might as well go all out and bring this monumental occasion into the public. "Lip-locking only, kids."

 

Then Kai said something that made her spray the tea in her mouth over the nearest Hufflepuff, cheeks on fire. "You try that, Kai, and you won't have any lips left to kiss with."

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Ellis Corcoran

Ellis gasped as a Slytherin girl made things worse by encouraging kissing on the lips, while a blunt Gryffindor suggested that one of the impressionable Hoofles was infertile. “That’s horrible!” Ellis cried at the boy. “Don’t listen to him, girls.”

 

Why did everyone insist on making things worse? "No kissing either!" Ellis's face was bright red.

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Azalia Rod

QQ Azalia was not infertile! “ON THE LIPS?!” She blushed. BUT SHE REALLY WANTED A CUTE LITTLE COOING BABY with little feet and tiny fingernails and toes and everything adorable about babies, just like that charms teacher was going to have two of! “OKAY!!” Azalia turned toward Harley and pecked her on the lips. It felt funny. WHY WAS SHE ALL TINGLY? AND WHERE WAS THAT BABY?

 

"NOOO I CAN'T BE INFERTILE!" She started sniffling.

 

WC: 75

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