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Cole Maesson

STILL Monday, November 10th, 2031

 

It took Cole a minute to notice that the nice Milk Guy was staring pointedly at his stash of teabags. It was the perfect time to repay his debt. "Here you go, mate," he said hoarsely, shoving over a pile. "Teabag your heart out" He was about to turn away before stopped and slid over an unmarked vial instead. "Add that too."

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Chance Carter

STILL Monday, November 10th, 2031

 

On that day, Professor Flying Guy was his savior. He tea bagged to his heart's content and examined the vial he'd been given. Normally, he didn't take candy from strangers, but as his head throbbed with the ache of a grandma's backside after church, he would make an exception. He muttered a "Thanks," with an understood bro at the end, continuing his tea bagging and vial sampling.

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Leela Toor

SLYTHERIN TRUTH OR DARE (but it's not really a dare because Leela would do this anyways, but whatever).
(NO EUROVISION SPOILERS, BUT IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET, GET IN ON THAT, SERIOUSLY)

Leela had her hand down the front of her shirt. She was digging around. There was something that she was craving down there. And she just...needed...to find it.

AHH! There is was. Pulling her hand out, in her fist was a crumbled up package of karaoke licorce. It was probably her favorite sweetie and she rarely went anywhere without some. Shoving the sweetie in her mouth, Leela rushed towards the staff table in the Great Hall and clumsily climbed up onto of the flat surface. "HI PROFESSOOOOooooooOOOOOooooOOOOOoooOOR, YOU CAN, LIKE, IGNORE MEEEEEeeeeEEEEeeeeEEeeeEEEE."

Leela pointed her wand to her throat and cast the Amplifying Charm. "HELLOOOOOOOOO EUROPE HOGWARTS!" Leela held her arms out at her sides. "RIIIIIIISE LIKE A PHOOOOOENIX!!!" Leela took a few steps, dropping onto her knees and starting at Professor Carter intensely. "RISE LIKE THE ASHES!" She fell onto her back, dramatically playing the song out. "THIS IS SLYTHERIN CALLING!"

 

Leela attempted to get onto her feet, but she managed to step onto her own robes and toppled off the table, crashing into the floor loudly. "OW OOOH URHG OW OW...ow. We'll now, like, bring on our...oww..." Leela rubbed at her elbow which had been the first part of her body to hit the ground. "Our first country...country. I know there is, like, at least one French student. Someone from...ow...Ireland maybe?" Pulling herself together, Leela climbed back onto the staff table. "I'M BACK."

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Finch Goodfellow
Slytherin Truth or Dare will be the death of me and I'm not even a snake. :C

("My favorite European country? Ah yes. Australia. No, not Austria. Australia. I loved them in Eurovision.")


There was a performance going on.


If there was one thing Finch was good at, it was putting on a show with absolutely no chance for personal gain and quite possibly an extreme chance for detention. Because if it was worth doing, it was likely something that someone ought not to be done. He recognized bruise-paste girl from flying lessons and knew he still had to repay her for rescuing Liam's face from perpetual deformity. He knew she was likely mental. He knew this was likely stupid.


And Finch knew how to sing. And so, disembarking from his table and making his way up to join Leela, he nodded seriously to the staff and prayed he would survive the evening. He'd learned a new word recently. There was even a song about it, so naturally, he learned that too. Finch was all about education.


" I like it when the beat goes da na da na

Baby make your booty go da na da na

Girl I know you want to show da na da na

That thong th thong thong thong

I like it when the beat goes da na da na

Baby make your booty go da na da na

Girl I know you want to show da na da na

That thong th thong thong thong--- "


He wasn't dead yet. Impressive. He chanced a glance behind him and decided it was best to leave before someone changed their minds. "VOTE FOR AUSTRALIA." He was not even remotely from Australia. Apparently they'd somehow managed to float their way over to join Europe, though. Weird thing, global warming. He hopped off the staff table and ran like hell out of the Great Hall. If he was to die, he at least was going to make them chase after him first.


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Cameron Colquhoun

Who was that singing? Oh, that Slytherin girl he had heard sing a lot. How fun it was to have another tone-deaf person openly sing with confidence. And she climbed up on the table too. Reminded him of the time with Jansen when he’d joined her to sing something about making a man out of you.

And who was that? OMG was that his mentee?!! What’s he doing there? He’s going to get himself killed. Both his mentees had ill-fated destinies. RIP. It was nice knowing you as too.

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Lisette Montford

Slytherin truth or dare. RIP me.

 

This was insane. She was going insane.

 

Never before had she been such a troublemaker, but ever since being sorted into Slytherin, she had changed. There was a grande quest into certain peril planned with Grover Penn, and now, here she was, taking her "hobby" to the next-next level. Her spoon collection was filled, of course, with stolen spoons from various people. What it lacked, however, was some high-profile spoons, some important people spoons. So, naturally, she found herself slinking up to the staff table.

 

Leela and Finch were providing an excellent distraction. Perhaps she could do this unscathed.

 

Heart pounding in her chest, Lisette walked nonchalantly up to the table, whistling along with Finch's song. She stopped, of course, directly in front of Headmistress Flamel. This is it, she thought, staring wide eyed at the Headmistress. There was an awkward period of time where she said nothing, and did nothing, as she debated her life choices. Then, with nothing left to lose, she leaned forward and swiped the Headmistress's spoon.

 

Adrenaline kicked in as she committed the act, and in reckless wild abandonment, she swiped Professor Carter's spoon as well. If she was going to die at this school, might as well go out with a bang.

 

With that, she ducked down in front of the table and attempted to sneak away.

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Jacqueline Pettibone

SLYTHERIN TRUTH OR DARE

 

Jacqueline wandered in the Great Hall, bumping slightly into the door. And then table. And then people. Somewhere in her brain told her she should never allow herself to be hit by the Confunding Charm in the dueling chamber again.. The ground looked comfortable.

 

Confused, Jack slipped under the staff table and crawled until she found her lunch. Was it Urguy or Grover by the smell?? She slipped the shoe off and absently licked the bottom of her lunch’s foot.

 

Tasted like chicken, she thought philosophically before passing out.

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Leela Toor

This wasn't a dare. Honest.

Leela had been sitting at the Slytherin table during sorting, listening to her radio play the same song on repeat. As the song went on, she turned it up higher...and higher...and higher. The sound drowned out most of the chatter around the Slytherin table, which gave Leela the opportunity to think. And think, she did. About a lot of things. But mostly about how awesome this song was.

Grinning, she picked up the radio and hustled over towards the Staff Table. "'scuse me," she said, pushing some food aside to make a clearing. She stumbled up on top of it and turned to face towards the crowd. The brightest smile crossed her face.


"YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO IT IIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSS!!!!"


"UNG. LEELA TOOR. LEELA TOOR. LEELA TOOR. Now give it to me!"

"Now watch me blurt. Watch me naenae. Now watch me blurt, blurt. Watch me naenae."

"Now watch me blurt. Watch me naenae. Now watch me blurt, blurt. Watch me naenae."

 

 

Leela fully expected everyone else to join in. And blurt. And naenae. Get on it, Hogwarts. THIS IS YOUR TIME.

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Artemis Midnight

Artie knew better than to join that stupid game of truth or dare. She should have been in the chamber, dueling. Or doing homework. But alas, she had been very dumb. And now she was paying for it.

 

She had spent a good portion of the last hour watching Madam Carter. The lady was very beautiful, and as Artie did her best to look like her, she still failed. She hoped she didn't get in too much trouble for this.

 

With an angry sigh, she marched up to the staff table and over to professor Carter. "'Scuse me sir.." She said. She randomly opened a page of this book, and started to read. In a singing voice.

 

Good Merlin, who even came up with this stuff?! Her face flushed scarlet as she read/sang more and more. She definitely hated life right now. Hopefully, the man would be amused and not give her all the detentions, ever.

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Emory Kettleburn

Monday, September 19, 2033

 

Connor Avery Ford. His friend was either the world’s greatest genius when it came to pranks, or the world’s biggest idiot. He had never been able to tell which. All he knew was that he had been sent a big bottle of u-no-poo and it was time to use it. Though it had come to him anonymously, Emory knew it had to be Connor. Who else would it be? Connor knew he would go along with it and do something with it. Connor had even told him what to do with it. It was bloody brilliant.

 

If only he could join in right now. But this was a one person job.

 

At the moment, Emory was hidden in the shadows of the entrance hall, his face concealed by a curtain of a window, his legs partly hidden by the gargoyle. As usual, Emory had avoided sitting amongst everyone else when it came to dinner - he’d sneak down to the kitchens later for food - there was no way he was ever going to be in the middle of an uncomfortable social scene when he knew he could avoid it.

 

That Monday evening, the small boy hid in the shadows as he creeped up to the Head Table after everyone had departed for the evening. He then took a deep breath as he opened the bottle. Oh god. THAT SMELL. WRETCHED. Why was he doing this again? Because he always did what he was told, that was why. He might complain, he might throw a bit of a fit, but he did it. Still, this one would be worth it. “Connor, you’ll be jealous tomorrow,” he muttered as he slipped the stuff in the professor’s goblets. He skipped one though. He was too scared of what would happen if he did put stuff in it.

 

Then he disappeared into the shadows once again. Breakfast anyone?

 

Tuesday, September 20, 2033

 

Same time, different day, same supply. Same routine. Same everything really. Funny thing is, Emory had no idea what had happened during breakfast the next morning having not been there. He had no idea if he had just played the world’s greatest prank or the world’s worst. Perhaps he’d ask Connor about it later.

 

Wednesday, September 21, 2033

 

New day, new plan. Sort of. The biggest, most important meal of the day when everyone was guaranteed to be in the Great Hall was dinner. He just had to target dinner if he wanted to live up to Connor’s reputation. His friend was clearly counting on him to do something spectacular with the u-no-poo. This was going to be a little harder though. People came in and out of the hall for lunch all of the time - there would never be a time when it would be completely free.

 

He frowned as he debated what to do. Wait a minute. The kitchens.

 

The goblets would magically appear from there. It was perfect, brilliant even. He could do it right before dinner and he wouldn’t even be seen.

 

Thursday, September 22, 2033

 

Wow. Was this supply of u-no-poo never ending? No matter how much he used, it always seemed like he had some left.

 

Yes, Emory Kettleburn strikes again. #nonotthempirestrikesback #thisisn'tstarwars

 

Friday, September 23, 2033

 

He had just enough left to strike one more time with the same routine he had performed every single day up to this point. “This had better work.”

 

Connor Avery Ford had nothing on him.

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Professor Althaus

in conjunction with this thread

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

In true form, the first years couldn't seem to have one day pass without incident. And maybe, if Althaus was a better professor, he would've stopped them or stepped in or something. No, instead, he requested a bowl of popcorn from the kitchens, placed a protective spell around himself, and started snacking, occasionally feeding Serra a kernel. It was, if anything, hilariously entertaining and something to write home about. There were spaghetti monsters flying through the air, chicken-headed girls nearly running into things, a first year trying valiantly to do something -- was she allowed to stand on the tables? Maybe he should levitate her down -- and one first year had a spoon sticking out of her hair. Though it looked like it was going to be slowly devoured by said hair soon. What a shame.

 

And if maybe Althaus sent a whole bowl of pudding flying in the general direction of a gaggle of first years, no one had to know. Plus he could have the first years scrub the mess with a toothbrush or something for detention after they'd had their jollies.

Edited by Professor Althaus

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Ms Cartwright

She was only CENSORED years old but every sorting convinced Cartwright that she was better off not having children of her own. It took every ounce of self-control not to reach for her wand to stop the chaos of the Sorting Feast.

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Panda

Good morning, Staff/Professors! Mail's here!

 

Usually Panda preferred to deliver mail to the smaller food-givers, because they were more generous and more likely to have candy. But today Panda's delivery took him to the table with all the adult food-givers at it. Well, perhaps Panda would still manage to beg something tasty. And he could always visit the smaller ones afterward.

 

The pudgy owl dropped down out of the cloud of post owls and coasted over to the adult food-givers, pulling to an ungainly halt in front of his recipient. “Hoot!” he hooted, and defied the laws of physics by standing his huge pudgy body on one leg long enough for the letter to be untied.

 

[One of you may claim receiving the letter carried by Panda! I don't know who it's for. I don't know who it's from. I'm an owl!]

 

Panda dropped back to two talons and waddled a few steps along the table, checking out the breakfast spread and keeping an eye out for any food-givers who might be feeling generous towards a hungry pudgy little owl.

 

[Any of you may feed Panda at any time.]

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Professor Santiago

Deciding to not be a recluse in the dungeons, Mateo made his way to a surprisingly empty Staff Table. He looked around but he didn't spot anyone else. A little lonely, the Argentinian sat down and hoped that some friends would arrive soon.

 

 

 

...Staff, where you at? ☹️

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