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Wesley Mercer

Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies and ways to say you died

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Wesley Mercer

The sight of a familiar short blonde with the fashion sense of a 2010 hipster had Wesley groaning exasperatedly as he entered his office. 

"I'm not sober enough for this." 

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Leslie Dahlberg

"And to think I came all this way to actually see how you were doing." She pointed at the door, "I can leave and never come back if you'd like."

Edited by Leslie Dahlberg

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Wesley Mercer

Wesley was really not sober enough for this. 

"Oh you mean like how you left me FOR TWO YEARS." 

It might have actually been two days.

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Leslie Dahlberg

Two years

 

Christ. 

 

"How you manage to run a company is beyond me." How Wesley managed to keep his head was also beyond Leslie's comprehension. "I wasn't gone that long." 

 

She might have been but apparently no one had been keeping track of time.

Edited by Leslie Dahlberg

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Wesley Mercer

"You were gone that long." 

Probably. 

"So what do you want from me this time, Dahlberg? Surely you didn't come this way just to check up on me." 

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Leslie Dahlberg

"Nothing at all," she replied. Leslie wasn't here to harass Wesley into giving her anything like usual. It had been the furthest from her mind. In all honesty, it wasn't until she was punching the up button on the elevator that she realized she was at Mercer Industries.

 

"Just as surprised as you are that I'm here purely for a social visit."

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Wesley Mercer

A social visit.

Nobody nowadays set foot into the office for a social visit.

 

"Did you microchip me when you were last here?" Wesley raised an eyebrow. He wouldn't have put it past her. In spite of the bitterness that he still felt over Leslie considering a pro-quid career, he knew that Leslie ended up surprising him as his assistant. She kept his life together, definitely saved him from a bad decision on more than one occasion, and when she wasn't staring at him like the creepy stalker she low key was, she wasn't useless.  "I haven't been here in weeks, and yet you somehow managed to show up the same day as me? If you want your job back, I need a favor." 

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Leslie Dahlberg

Leslie stifled a laugh.

 

"You didn't know? I put one on you ages ago."

 

The one thing Leslie was good at was making friends wherever she went, and Wesley's company was no exception. It had only taken her a few days to befriend the staff and have numbers exchanged. She vaguely remembered receiving a text that morning, but couldn't remember reading it.

 

Wesley was offering her job back? Leslie knew she was good at it, she practically kept it all up and running.

 

"Oh, so really you want something from me? I guess you should be happy I have the most opportune timing. What do you need?"

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Wesley Mercer

“I knew I should have never let you touch my hair.”  Maybe it was because he didn't want to actually have a fight with Leslie of all people but Wesley decided to play along. Maybe it was the alcohol from the hours before still having an effect on him. 

 

“I mean technically you want something from me first. I'm just saying that getting your job back comes with terms and conditions, ” Wesley shrugged. “I don't know what you've heard but I'm sure you've heard something otherwise you wouldn't be here. Tabloids lie. Maybe. Anyway, I've been running MI from my vacation house in Zermatt but I need someone to run it from here. So I don't know talk to the press say I'm seeking help for my issues or that I died or whatever. And you stay here as unofficial interim CEO.” 

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Leslie Dahlberg

"I mean technically you're asking me for something. I can say no if I want to."

 

It was highly unlikely that she would say no, but that was besides the point. 

 

For which was probably the first time ever, Leslie agreed with him - tabloids lie. She didn't bring up what she had heard because she had no idea if it was the truth or not. Better to come straight from the horse's mouth. Which was accurate in Wesley's case. Leslie thought that he'd want her back as his assistant. Interim CEO was not what she was expecting at all. Maybe she had been watching too much TV lately, but didn't that kind of stuff have to be put to a vote? Did Mercer Industries even have a board of directors?

 

"Interim CEO..." She looked at Wesley, "how drunk are you right now?"

 

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Wesley Mercer

“You're such a pain.” Then again, so was Wesley, so perhaps this was the reason why when it came to dynamic duos, they miraculously worked. “We both know you won't say no.”

 

Maybe Leslie had a point though, and he was too drunk to be making decisions like these. Perhaps if he ever sobered up he'd realize the errors of his way. 

 

“Not drunk enough,” Wesley deadpanned. “As the official interim CEO and with Malcolm at Hogwarts and the board of directors very under my control I think I can do whatever I want.” 

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Leslie Dahlberg

"Of course I would say yes." But... 

 

If Wesley was smart, he would actually seek help for his issues but Leslie knew that would never happen. "You want to run off and get drunk in Switzerland while I do all the work." She didn't even put the effort in to form a question. Not like it would be any different than just working as his assistant, it just came with a bigger title. "Maybe you should ask me again when you're sober." Because Leslie wanted to say yes, she just couldn't imagine a non-drunk Wesley actually asking her to be CEO. 

 

"I never thought I'd say this to you, but do you want to talk about your problems?" 

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Wesley Mercer

"As if you could run a company all on your own," Wesley chuckled. "I'll still be doing my work just not here. Occasionally. Probably. Maybe. I would just need you to be the image and make up something for the press. Like I said, make something up. Tell them I died or whatever tell them I got fried getting fake tanned or got eaten by a lion or something." 

At the mention of talking about his problems, Wesley sighed exasperatedly and flopped onto his chair. "I don't have problems. What makes you think I have problems? I could really go for a drink right now." 

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Leslie Dahlberg

Because Leslie totally believed that Wesley was going to run a company from several countries over and not slack off. The man hadn't attended a meeting in god know's how long.

 

"So I'm assuming I have no budget for your fake funeral, right?" Wesley definitely would want a sky's the limit funeral. She started making a mental list of what she'd need: flowers, casket, obviously closed so there was a backstory that needed to be made up, mourners... Leslie wondered if she could buy them off of craigslist. 

 

"Because it's not normal to want to drink before most places have opened up for brunch. Have you even had anything to eat today?"

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Wesley Mercer

"Wow, Dahlberg, can't believe of all the things to come up with you decided you're going to go with my death as the reason why you're suddenly in charge." Wesley, however, couldn't get himself to pretend he was offended. He wasn't, he would have gone with that direction anyway if Leslie hadn't appeared again after she abandoned him the first time. 

"Whatever you come up with, if you need money the budget is half a million. Recently got another flat and a new car since nobody is technically supposed to know I'm here. Like every other corporate tycoon I've been avoiding the press, court summons, and potentially taxes soooooo...." Leslie wouldn't be able to have the luxury of going all out with the fake funeral. 

"It's completely normal okay, but if you want to know about my problems well I'm going to need more drinks."

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Leslie Dahlberg

Was she going to go childish and say he started it?

 

Absolutely.

 

"You said it first, I'm just playing along. I can only use the excuse of you going to get help for your problems if you actually agree you have some." But since it seemed that it would take an exorbitant amount of alcohol to get there, his death was an easy choice. "It's not like I actually want you dead." 

 

She pulled out her phone and began looking for any bars that were open nearby. 

 

"I was joking about the fake funeral, I won't actually plan one. I'll talk to the press for you and say you're taking personal time off or something." Something cookie-cutter. "Although you should probably fix those other things by yourself. I would appear in court for you if I could, but legally I can't." She would however, go with him if he wanted.

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Wesley Mercer

"Such a pain," Wesley rolled his eyes, but he was reaching for his keys regardless. 

Unlike Leslie, Wesley didn't need to google bars, he knew a place already and he was certain Leslie would remember it considering how many times she got him out of there after one too many drinks. "I am perfectly fine. Now let's go before someone realizes I'm here and I have to attend meetings." 

 

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"So what have you heard?" 

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Leslie Dahlberg

"Nuh uh." Leslie was here to listen, not talk. "Pretend that I've heard nothing and tell me everything." 

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Wesley Mercer

“So you've heard everything then. Did you hear the part where I kicked out a werewolf?” 

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Leslie Dahlberg

"You did what? Please tell me it wasn't one of those kids from Hogwarts." 

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Wesley Mercer

“It was Mal's girl... friend.. gold digger thing.... I don't make good decisions. OKAY.” Wesley sighed, exasperatedly. “Kid's fine anyway. Probably. Anyway, everything you heard is probably. Marriage problems, life problems, avoiding society for months now, among other things.” 

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Leslie Dahlberg

Leslie also made bad decisions, except hers didn't involve children. She would tell him that maybe he could tell the girl sorry, but Leslie knew that it would be impossible. That would be for another time.

 

Now it was back to the tabloid information.

 

"Well.... how about your life problems?" Leslie hadn't the foggiest idea on how to tackle marriage issues considering she didn't have the best track record for relationships. "What's going on there?"

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Wesley Mercer

“What could be going on? Other than the fact that I am three years away from losing everything I've accomplished in the past seven years?” 

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Leslie Dahlberg

"Have you ever thought about talking to a therapist instead of a bartender? It might help." 

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Wesley Mercer

“Why would I do that, I don't have to pay a bartender. Plus they keep the alcohol coming.”

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