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Alexander Crow

I Confess, I Messed Up, Dropping "I'm Sorry" Like You're Still Around

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Alexander Crow

It's been almost a week since Mae walked out on Alex mid-conversation, leaving him bewildered and wondering what the heck went wrong. The thirteen-year-old played the scene repeatedly in his head until it hurt and still failed to get a spark of enlightenment. They were fine, running away from the breakfast club like their lives depended on it and confiding in each other about what bothered them afterward. Just like they did over the summer when things hit a rough patch, listening to the other's pain. Until he became the source of hers. Now if he could just understand why.

 

In true Ravenclaw fashion, Alex decided to do some research and reached out to an older and much more experienced in life friend, @Anton Hunter. After listening to his mirror rambling for a few minutes, the guy pointed out that he hurt Mae's feelings by saying she wasn't ugly as opposed to telling her she's pretty. He honestly didn't know the difference. The session ended with him thanking the alumnus for his input (enduring a lecture on how they need to work on his "smooth game" in the process), and setting off to try and make things right with his friend.

 

Which brings us to the present day when that is yet to happen. Alex stood outside the library, the very place where they met for the first time. He knew she was avoiding him, ignoring mirror messages and rejecting attempts at calls. She hurried away after class and refused to emerge when he camped out in front of the Slytherin common room until curfew fell upon the castle.

 

It hurt, knowing that she didn't want anything to do with him. More so when the Ravenclaw went on with his routine without the friend he's gotten used to being around with. He missed how she randomly dropped potion facts and made snarky but humorous remarks about mundane things. There was a hole in his life, a Mae-sized one... and it was all his fault.

 

His surmising was interrupted when a familiar Slytherin appeared, walking out of the library and coming face to face with Alex before he was ready. He could have sworn he had it all figured out, then the opportunity arose and he was left as tongue-tied as ever. She spotted him, froze, and hurried the other way. He was not going to let this happen again.

 

"Mae wait!" Alex called out, running after her and catching up just as she stopped in front of an unused classroom. "Can we talk, please?" 

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Salomé Schiferli

The last week has been pretty stressful. From her fight with @Dorian MacDermott, something she still didn't understand all the way to her fight with Alexander. Salomé wasn't the type to share her feelings, and she did, with Alexander. Of course it was in an almost selfish way because she wanted him to tell her she was pretty, but it backfired and she realized how stupid she sounded.

She was mortified.

Salomé spent a lot of time avoiding Alexander and Dorian. It sucked, it really sucked because they were her friends, and they were her only friends. Salomé knew that she wasn't the easiest person to get along with, but they seemed to accept that. At least she hoped they did, though right now she didn't feel like they did. The last couple of days made Salomé realize she didn't have many friends and while that hurt, she wondered if she cared?

Lessons were less fun without her friends, but she was too mortified to face Alexander, and too... confused to talk to Dorian so she was alone. She hated it. 

Salomé found herself in the library looking for a couple of books. She spent most the morning there, and when she left she spotted Alexander. Her crystal blue eyes widened and she tried to avoid him, but he started following her. She has done so well up until now.

Salomé stopped as he called her name. Turning to face him,  Salomé realized he was taller than her. Barely but taller. Looking into his eyes, she glanced away, looking at the door before sighing. "Fine." She said finally stepping into the classroom. "Can we make this quick?"

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Alexander Crow

He was taller than Mae now. When did this happen?

 

Alex had spent most of the new school year walking around in a hunched posture (much to Mr Lahey's chagrin) that he didn't notice surpassing the Slytherin by an inch. It wasn't that he was short, she just happened to be very, very tall... and slender, and a lot of other things that he should not be thinking about right now. He could not afford to get distracted, not when their friendship was on the line. 

 

"Right. Sorry, I know it's almost time for late breakfast before you head outside to read but---" The Ravenclaw stopped, surprised at how acquainted he's gotten with her routine. Must be because he used to be a part of it.

 

"Umm..." He had a speech prepared somewhere in his head, rehearsed and tucked away for safe-keeping, to be unearthed when he finally succeeded in getting her to talk to him. Whatever Alex composed was reduced to ash, however, crumbling away as she stared at him briefly before glancing away. "I mirror messaged you..." He found himself blurting out of nowhere. The sting of being disregarded was still there, apparently waiting to swoop in and make its presence known. "It's okay." He added quickly, "...you must have been busy." Ignoring him. Ahh, pull it together!

 

Alex knew a part of him was stalling, nervous about getting this wrong. Again. Still, he had to get it out before Mae ran off like last time, she was already struggling with keeping eye contact. "The other day, my mind was a mess and I... what I said, it didn't come out right. But that's not what I meant!" He angled his head, trying to catch her gaze. "... and I'm sorry."

 

Crickets.  

Edited by Alexander Crow

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Salomé Schiferli

Maybe she has finally stopped growing. That would be nice. Between first and second year she shot up about seven inches which was a nightmare. Now she was a reasonable height (Even if it was on the giant end) and she really hoped she stopped growing. She didn't mind it when a boy was taller than her. Not at all. It seems like she wasn't the only one growing. Alexander had a growth spurt over the summer. How odd.


It dawned on Salomé he seemed to know her schedule. "Wait you know I go outside to read?" Her cheeks flushed a bit. She tends to go out to read by the lake before lessons. She has been reading her latest book, Fifty Spells of Gray, one of those embarrassing romance novels she was into. He saw that? 

Staring at AlexanderSalomé tried to figure out what he was up to. He was stuttering, pointing out that she ignored him. "I ignored them." She told him truthfully and it wasn't to be mean. She could see Alexander was trying to apologize, and really she should too. "I don't say that to be mean, I was just mortified. I didn't know what to say." Unlike him, she spoke clearly. Salomé has never had a problem with words. She knew exactly how to speak her mind, but she missed her friend, she really did.

Avoiding his gaze, she bit down on her her lip, trying to gather her thoughts before she came out incoherent like him. "It's fine. I don't normally say things like that, now I remember why." Because she felt like an idiot. So mortified, so embarrassed. "I shouldn't have asked that. It was stupid and yeah.. its forgiven.." She stopped for a moment. Thinking. "What did you mean?"

Edited by Salomé Schiferli

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Alexander Crow

"Um, yeah." He admitted sheepishy, "... you made me go with you once." Alex had come to assume that Mae sets off to the grounds to peruse her books whenever she disappears after late breakfast. He saw her come back with them in hand, a slight flush in her cheeks that was probably brought on by being under the sun. It was the same tinge she was sporting now, except indoors. "There's nothing wrong with it really, I read spell books all the time."

 

Little did he know she wasn't reading about incantations. 

 

Alex wasn't expecting her deny it, but he didn't anticipate a blatant admission. Ouch. He will definitely need some burn paste for his ego later. Anton's words swiftly came to mind, you could have gotten punched, Alex. That would have been awful, he was no good with muggle dueling and you can't stop a fist with a blocking charm. "That's... fair." He finally said, truth be told, if the situation was reversed, he wouldn't know what to say to her either.

 

When Mae forgave him, Alex let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding this entire time. "Thank you." He said, giving her a small smile despite himself. There was still at that awkward stage of trying to pick up the pieces. This was the first fight he'd ever had with a friend and now trying to figure out how the aftermath works.

 

Then she said it. Or asked, rather. The phrase 'deer caught in headlights' is quite accurate for the situation. He stared, thoughts scrambling like that time he caught a confunding charm in the face. He was wondering if he'll ever get it together when he saw it. That look. The same one Mae had when she asked him that first time. It was then he understood, she was reaching out, needing someone, a friend, to be there when she was vulnerable. It was then that Alex realized how horrible he's been.

 

"Oh wow, Mae I am so sorry. I am such a bad friend." Alex started, thoughts still running around on Dragon Rage, except this time, he knew what he wanted to say. "I meant, well yes, I do think you're pretty... I was just caught off guard that you'd ask because--- well, I thought you knew... I mean, you are amazing." 

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Salomé Schiferli

Salomé realized they did sit outside and work on a project. Still, she wasn't working on a text book at all, in fact she was reading something much more trashy, and she didn't hate herself for that. "Yeah, nothing wrong with spell books." She licked her lips nervously, because frankly he wouldn't be that interested in what she was reading, but it was good, alright? 

Don't judge. 

Salomé has never been one to lie. Not completely. Some may call it a character flaw, but she generally spoke her mind. There were times when she would twist the truth, but what was the point of lying? Sure she could skirt around things, and perhaps take other people's feelings into consideration, she just thought in the long run it would make things worse, so she wasn't about that life at all. "I'm not going to lie." She told him, that wasn't in her nature. He should know that.


Still, Salomé didn't want to fight with Alexander. It was bad enough Dorian hated her. Salomé didn't know what she would do if Alexander hated her too. "You're welcome." She smiled back at her, tucking her blond hair behind her ear and running her tongue across her lip.

Salomé noticed a strange look on Alexander's face and she wondered if he would lie to her. People generally did, she learned that the hard way by trusting the wrong people. It always landed her in hot water. Plus, she was curious to see what he would tell her.

"You're not a bad friend." Salomé said, but his comment made her smile and once again her cheeks flush. "I mean.. generally I do, I know I'm great and everything, but sometimes it's nice to hear it." She pressed her lips against his cheek and took his hand. "I think you're great too. I am happy I have you in my life, Alexander. I mean that." 

 

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Alexander Crow

Alex understood the need for validation, he struggles with it every day. With a father who appears perpetually disappointed in his only son and a sister who despises him for being born, the Ravenclaw grew up beating himself down because everyone else is doing it anyway. Except for his Mum, who is the only person capable of making him feel good about himself, and she wasn't here. It's probably why he tirelessly strived to be the best at the things he showed an affinity towards. For a measly pat on the back or a 'Good job, Alex!'

 

He was working on it, really.

 

He did not receive any of those gestures of affirmation today. Instead, Mae took his hand, gently, unlike that day in the corridors when he could barely feel his fingers afterward. By the time she leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek, the aforementioned part felt really warm and Alex had no doubt that his face was blazing like it was on the receiving end of @Viktoriya Valentin's flare charms. The Ravenclaw tried to snap out of it and instead opted to focus on other things, like how the Slytherin's eyes were a lovely shade of icy blue and her lips resembled pink rose petals.

 

Okay, not helping. 

 

Without much thought as to how Mae will receive it, Alex jumped back abruptly, a shock running up his spine as he broke contact. The temperature in his cheeks spread throughout his body and for a second he wondered if this was something he needed to go to the Hospital Wing for. "I um... should let you get to late breakfast." He said lamely, backing away until he was close to the doorway. Curse his ability to handle confusing situations, or lack thereof. "I wouldn't want to hinder you from studying spells today..." I mean sure, there were only fifty spells in that particular book but still.

 

He had taken exactly three steps before turning around and saying something that surprised even him. "Hogsmeade... would you like to go?" He paused for a moment before realizing he should have his meaning plainer, "... with me, I mean. You don't have to if you don't feel like it but yeah. With me... oh I think I said that already. Right." 

 

Somewhere in his little love nest with Queen @Ava Winchester, @Anton Hunter was facepalming, probably. 

Edited by Alexander Crow

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Salomé Schiferli

Salomé hated how vulnerable she felt right now. It wasn't an emotion she was use to, but it was one that seemed to prevail. She liked to think she was confident. She always has been, one thing her parents did right was make her believe she was worthy once upon a time, and helped her understand her value. While that was mainly her mother, after all she was the one that reared the children. Still, this self doubt perplexed Salomé more than she ever thought it would.

Salomé was going to focus on the here and now instead. When she focused on what might be, or what can happen it made her anxious, she generally freaked out and did things that she probably shouldn't. She knew Dorian called it her mood-swings, but that made her feel like something was wrong with her, and she knew it wasn't, there was just so much going on, that if she focused on everything else she wasn't sure what she'd do. 

Instead she focused on Alexander. How soft his skin was against her lips, and the blush to his cheeks that had her smiling more than she'd ever admit. Still, he jumped back and that took her by surprise. She stared at Alexander, her nose crinkling. "Are you okay?" She asked as he began stuttering about her getting back to breakfast, and acting like he was a bother. 

"No... My book isn't important right now." Salomé said wondering what was going through his head, and for a moment she felt worried she did something wrong. He stepped away from her, and Salomé frowned, what did she do? The next words out of his mouth took her by surprise.

Was he asking her out on a date, or to go as friends? "Go to Hogsmead?" She asked slowly trying to wrap her head around with what he said and how he said it. "Do you mean as friends, or like..." She flushed. "A date?"

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Alexander Crow

Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you had it all figured out then someone throws a curveball and suddenly it's all back to square one? This is exactly how Alex feels right now.

 

"Um..." If the Ravenclaw had a galleon for each time he uttered that word he could buy Hogwarts by now. "Well..." It didn't sound complicated in his head when the idea suddenly struck just as he was walking out the door. This must be another side effect of being a teenager, impulsive decision making, something uncharacteristic for his personality. He did want to go to Hogsmeade with Mae though, just wasn't aware of the implications that followed. Or the expectations that came with them.

 

Would it be appropriate to excuse himself to mirror Anton and get back to Mae with an answer? Probably not. 

 

"...what would you like it to be?" He finally asked, wondering if there was a right or wrong response to these things. Come to think of it, Alex couldn't recall if he's ever asked anyone on a date before. He and Pali always did picnic excursions on the lakefront but that was something they both discussed without much thought to it. They were already attached to the hip before the whole kissing business happened. Now here he was, trying to be assertive and failing miserably.

 

They should really write textbooks about this. The author is bound to make a killing.

 

"I'm sorry," He added, "I'm not very good at this and I'm a little nervous right now and I babble when it happens and I think I'm doing it right now actually, but yeah."

 

More facepalms from Anton. 

Edited by Alexander Crow

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Salomé Schiferli

Salomé wondered what Alexander was thinking. He was blushing, a lot and she decided she liked the pinkish tint to his cheeks. Biting down on her lip, Salomé peer into his eyes and smiled, an actual smile.

"Well? Get it out." She told him finally. She was joking about the date thing, though she knew she liked Alexander. In what started out as practice flirting turned into a friendship, and possible feelings which took her by surprise. Alexander was good. He was kind, smart, funny, and he seemed to like her too, so what was there not to like?

Surprisingly she has never been on a date before. Then again she was only thirteen and last year was a disaster.

"I don't know." She said finally trying to decide what she wanted. "I do like you. I spent most of last year flirting with you, though you never noticed, but if you're not over Pali, no. I don't want to be someone you use to get over her." She has always been at touch with her opinions. 
Salomé wasn't one to lie about her intentions most the time. 

"I know you do. You blush too.." She told him stepping closer to him and biting her lip. "I would like to go as a friend. How about that? You don't need to be nervous, and we can go as friends." 

 

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Alexander Crow

She what?!

 

Alex blinked, unsure if he heard Mae correctly or it was meant as a joke. The Slytherin held a fairly serious tone, however, and he took it as such. "You...were?"  Had she really been flirting with him? Sure, they hung out and got to know each other the past year and talked, a lot. Still, he missed any coquettish signals. Things were innocent in his perspective, even back when they first met at the library and she commented on the color of his eyes--oh.

 

Merlin, was he dense. Alex thought back to all the sapphire remarks he made about @Jaxon Sinclair's eyes. Was that considered flirting? He will need to review every single conversation he's had with everyone and dissect its true tone. 

 

"Right... I never noticed." He admitted sheepishly, thumbs twiddling they way they do when he absently gets nervous. The next thing she said caught his attention the most. Truthfully, Alex wasn't sure where his progress lay on getting over Pali, only that it wasn't where it should be. Everything that happened caught him off guard and his thoughts were still a cluttered mess. "That is fair." He responded, glad that Mae has brought that up or things could be off to a horrible start.

 

Whatever things meant in this context. 

 

"Going as friends sounds perfect." Alex agreed, no pressure on either of them and they can enjoy Hogsmeade village like they would any other time when they hung out normally. Except it will be nicer, just forget about the patrolling aurors... and the looming threat of every dangerous things out there. "I guess I'll see you then." He doesn't even know when the first trip is supposed to be but it won't be anytime soon. That gives both of them time. For what? He didn't know. 

 

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Salomé Schiferli

Salomé was far from stupid. She knew that Alexander had no idea she was flirting with him last year, and that wasn't a terrible thing. "Yeah." She said softly, a smile on her face. "I won't lie, I was trying to figure the whole flirting thing out and was trying it out on you." She shrugged grinning at him. "You were completely oblivious and I failed." She hoped he would find this as funny as she did. She even had lessons which was almost embarrassing, but Salomé hoped she had more game right now.

She thought it was kind of cute he was oblivious. Alexander was pretty cute, she still thought that. "Yeah, I know that. It made us friends though." She shrugged, she wouldn't have a great friend if it wasn't for her failing in flirting.

She might even actually like him which was a bit complex. Salomé wasn't really sure how she felt, but she did know Alexander wasn't over Pali. At least she didn't think he was. She refused to be rebound. Salomé  wanted to be the girl someone wanted, not the girl that was used to get over another girl. 

Especially Pali.

Salomé was glad they were going together though. That wasn't a terrible thing. She has wanted to go to Hogsmead for as long as she could remember. The fact she was going with someone and not alone made perfect sense. "I mean I hope we see each other before then. You aren't cutting me out till October, right?" She teased, wondering if Alexander was a bit nervous. He looked nervous at least.

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Alexander Crow

Alex wasn't sure what the appropriate reaction is after finding out he was the subject of some social experiment, or that his obliviousness made it fail. "Uh... sorry?" He is still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he neglected to notice someone flirting with him. Really, how was he supposed to know? They were in the library doing homework. Why anyone would get coy over doing essays? Mae, obviously, but he was too busy trying to explain the significance of pufferfish eyes to realize someone was complimenting his own.

 

"True... I'm guessing you didn't really need help with your essay?" He said with an amused tone. Alex has always wondered why Mae appeared incredibly lost over the potions assignment that day when she was in fact pretty gifted on the subject. He chalked it off to a bad day, naive little soul that he is. 

 

Realistically, Alex knew there was no way to be over someone who had just broken up with him. Pali was his best friend before all of this happened, after all, there was no way for her to completely disappear in his life. Never mind that he's been avoiding her like the plague since she broke things off sorting night. That is a story for another day. 

 

So friends is good. Safe. Merlin knows he needed that. "Of course not, I still need my study buddy." Alex said with a slight, almost shy smile. His nerves have calmed down a bit now that everything was on the table. He will be pondering about October, though, and what that Hogsmeade trip will bring. For now, "So... would you like me to walk you to late breakfast?" 

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Salomé Schiferli

Salomé shrugged. "It's fine. I clearly wasn't that great." She admitted because if she was he may have figured out what she was talking about. Sadly he didn't figure it out, so there was that. She has learned that boys can be pretty obtuse, so she didn't hold it against him. She was just glad he didn't hold that against her, because even though it started off as simple flirting, she really did like Alexander.

"No. Potions is my best class. My mother had her own Potions business." This was probably one of the first times Salomé has mentioned her mother to Alexander. It still hurt talking about her, but Potions has always been her favorite class. "I was trying to get to know you.."

Honestly, Salomé had no shame for what she did. In fact she didn't really understand the whole being afraid of what you're feeling or thinking. It was her lack of filter after all, and she held no shame for that. Still, she knew when it came to a relationship she hasn't been in one yet. There was the few kisses with @Vittorio Turlough, but nothing came of it. 

"Yeah? Well you know I'll still be there for you, you goof." Salomé's lip twitched, smiling at him and running her tongue across her lip. "Yes, I would like that a lot." She stood up her full height, smiling at Alexander and looping her arm with his. "Lead the way."

 


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