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Sorting Hat

The Sorting Ceremony

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Bones DeMayer

Ok, so. First of all, that boat ride? It had been SO cold. The lake air was like, the grossest she'd ever smelled. Like a mixture of rotten eggs and fish and literal horse poop. Bones shivered and grimaced the entire way, arms stretched out to grip the sides of the boat in case the whole thing capsized or just fell apart given it was probably like a billion and seven years old.


So like already she was not thriving and her impression of Hogwarts was terrible. Seeing it rise up before her eyes like a splendid Disney movie was pretty nice, but it didn't make up for the fact that they had to walk a HUNDRED MILES up all these stairs to get up to the castle. Why didn't the older kids have to do this? Why did they get that fun magical carriage ride thing while the first years got dangled over a massive deep lake as bait for sharks and trout?


And now she was being herded through a doorway to wait in line to be "sorted" like what did that even mean? Were they going to decide which of them had defects and toss them aside like a potato crisp factory did with old potatoes? It would have been nice to get some kind of email explaining what any of this was, like how irresponsible of her parents to just let her go here without any information? Her mum had been too busy redesigning the living room, looking through color swatches and deciding whether to go with walnut or pine to explain that Bones should've bathed the night before because they were going to throw her out if she looked bad.


Bones sniffed herself. Luckily her bubble gum lip gloss covered anything else that may have been wafting from her body. 


She spotted that girl Ellery and squeezed through the other kids to get next to her because safety in numbers. "I hope they don't throw us out," she whispered immediately. "My mum said I was still too young for antiperspirant so it might be all her fault if I am." Shaking her head slowly, she added, "I can't go back. I can't." Going back to school after telling all her friends "so long suckas, you're all fake" was not ideal.


Standing on tip-toes to see over the giants in front of them, she squinted and looked on, horrified to see the horrible hat they were putting on kids. Oh em gee, was it WIGGLING? Suddenly noticing that boy Davey grinning her way, the girl gave a quick wave and then a questioning look. "Where the heck am I?" she mouthed.


And then they called her name. With another sniff of her body and her fingers crossed for good luck, Bones made her way forward.


"Um, can you like, not let it touch me though?" she asked the professor. "I don't know where these people have been." Looking over the crowd, she muttered, "No offense." Bones protected her fake elf ears so they wouldn't fall off as the hat hovered over her head.

Mmm... interesting. Very interesting. What’s that? Not to worry, I see greatness in you, too! You certainly have enough ambition within you to get you as far as you wish, and you know who you are, what you want and what you need to do to get it. I sense that very little would stand in the way of your wishes, Miss DeMayer, and that will see you reaching for many great things in... SLYTHERIN!

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Charlie Wheeler

JOINT POST WITH  @Giles Cassidy


After the boat tipped over and the group had made their way through the large doors, Charlie tried to use the heavy, wet fabric of his robes to distract himself from the energy rushing through his veins. His robes hung to him like a dead weight. They drug across the floor and left a trail of water behind him as he went. Drops of water fell from his sleeves and his hair hung to his forehead. The cold left him flushed and he breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth as they climbed the stairs. His skin was covered with the marks of goosebumps and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. It was freezing despite the fact that he was surrounded by so many moving bodies.


And then there was the small amount of guilt that tickled in the back of his mind. Charlie could faintly hear the rustle of his friends around him. He knew that the lot of them were all chattering teeth and stuttering through their sentences. There wasn’t much he could do, however, even in one of the most magical places in the world. His wand felt heavy in his pocket but it was almost as useless as he was in that moment.


Instead, the Great Hall doors swung open and they walked through the archway like lemmings to a cliff. Students were everywhere. He couldn’t see anything in the sea of faces that swam together at the dining tables. The candles in the ceiling and the fires in the room did little to warm his skin, but it was easier to spot the yellow and black uniforms he knew to look for. Suddenly, he felt hot air rush over him, and he could feel the dampness of his clothes leave him. It wasn’t perfect (there were still spots that were soaked near the bottom of his robes), but he was immensely thankful as he spotted his sister’s face. She was in the middle of rolling her eyes and telling someone something about him surely. Charlie smiled and waved at her. The group trudged along.


“G,” Charlie muttered when the first name was called, “Do you think we’ll be together? You promised. You and me. Do you think it’ll happen?”


“If not, I’ll have to have an outright chat with the Sorting Hat… and by chat I mean, I’ll probably threaten it with a hot iron or something.” he joshed, leaning into his friend with the curve of his shoulder in attempts to placate his nerves. Having known Charles for nearly half of his life, it was perfectly normal for him to be slightly attuned to his friends feelings. He had very little care for anyone else's, but when it came to Charlie it was as though they were streaming on the same channel. He wouldn’t be his best friend if he couldn’t tell at least half of the time what the other was thinking… and boy was his boy freaking out. His nerves were palpable and borderline contagious, and had he not spent plenty of time talking Charles into many of his slightly dangerous schemes over the years he would have found another place to wait until his name was called.


They hadn’t talked about this part before. The part where they waited in anticipation for their fate to be decided by an ancient patched up magical hat. The boys had always just kind of assumed that they would end up together, no matter what. Favoring the house of Godric Gryffindor, way up in a tower, just like a few of their idols. It had always been two for the price of one, leave it or take it kind of deal, so why should Hogwarts be any different? Couldn’t they pave their own way? He sighed, sticking his hands into his robe pockets, fingers tracing the stitching on the inside. The fabric still felt slightly damp under his touch, and he couldn’t help but grin. “I can’t believe we fell into the freaking lake, how cliche are we?” he muttered, eyes now fixed on the golden haired troll beside him, deciding to broach the impending separation that was Chiles-- it would be short-lived but a shock to the system nevertheless. “Sounds like I’m gonna get called up first, you gonna be okay for a few minutes?” he asked, though he really should have been asking himself that question.

Ah! I have a regular Prince Charming under my brim... the fairytale version, mind you. There is a sense of chivalry I get from you. You are a kind young lad with the spirit of a hero slaying a dragon, but I encourage you to pick and choose your battles wisely, because dragons are misunderstood creatures, you know. I know you’ll find yourself in the right company in... GRYFFINDOR!

Edited by Charlie Wheeler

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Giles Cassidy

JOINT SORTING POST w/ @Charlie Wheeler


Charlie felt sick. The feeling of nausea had reached his stomach and was slowly crawling its way up the sides of his throat. He tried to not let that deter him as he stared down the patched together hat, especially when it had a face to stare back at him with. Giles - bless him - was a good enough distraction. It was almost impossible to think about the two of them being separated after five years of some very intense bro bonding. Giles was everything to Charlie. Because without him it would have just been Charlie and his parents stuck in that house. He’s still be the baby brother who cried while watching Toy Story. Charlie liked who he was when Giles was around much more than who he was without him. And the thought of having to face Hogwarts in different parts of the castle… A shudder ran down his spine and he decided to blame it on the cool patch around his collar that Hazel hadn’t managed to dry.


“If anyone was going to do it,” Charlie shrugged and lightly shoved Giles by knocking his shoulder into his, “It was going to be us. Following your lead.” They were bloody idiots. He honestly didn’t know why Atticus and Tulip even wanted to hang around the pair of them. The boys were reckless and Giles was the brutishness to Charlie’s unwavering loyalty. They could topple down buildings if they wanted to. Watch out Hogwarts, these boys could tear you apart brick by brick. One misplaced dung bomb and you’d be surprised at the results.


His nerves were starting to settle even though Atticus was being called up and Charlie knew it was only time before Cassidy was called and Wheeler would be stuck alone toward the end of the list. “No matter what, I’ll find you before dinner is over. I don’t care if I get detention for it. Not even a hat can stop me from being your best friend.”


“There’s no way in hell we’ll get through our first night without getting detention… “ he snorted, though he had no intention of getting them in any sort of trouble. See, the lake incident had  been a complete accident--but nobody would believe him. He was a bonafide troublemaker, and sometimes he just going along with things as though it had been the plan all along just helped his reputation. Though if anybody knew him at all, they would know that Giles would never intentionally seek out danger. Adventure? Sure! Danger? Not so much, at least not without thinking things thoroughly through. “Anyway, it’s not a rule that you have to sit with your house at all times. I looked it up. After the ceremony we can totally sit next to each other if worse comes to shove.” he explained quietly as they read off the next name on the list.


A few expletives managed to slip from his lips when his name was called, hands instinctively jumping out of his pocket and seeking Charlie’s. He dared to intertwine their fingers into an iron grip, harsh and tight. “Ask it. Ask it to stick you with me, okay? I’ll see you soon, Charles.” he whispered with a determined nod before breaking away and weaving his way through the unsorted and towards the stool.


He straightened his posture and stalked up the stairs, gracefully sliding down onto the smooth wood. His hands gripped at the rounded edges as the hat was placed on top of his crown, ‘I know you can hear me, or hear my thoughts that is… Can I just ask one thing? Keep Charlie Wheeler and me together, yeah? I was kidding about ironing you out if you didn’t do that but… it’d be cool if you didn’t separate us. Like really cool.’

Ah, my boy, you’re a bit of a mixed bag, aren’t you? Filled to the brim with loyalty, you’ll do near anything for those you’re close to, even if it means putting your own whims aside. Helga would certainly appreciate having such a devoted person under her ranks.... but you hold sturdy ambitions too, and that has Salazar calling strongly for you. Your image is important to you, isn’t it? You want to be seen as strong... fearless... and there’s bravery in you, too. You’re bold, daring, cunning, loyal... so where to put you? Where will you most thrive? Well, Mister Cassidy, it might be a tough call, but there is one founder holding a stronger argument for you than the others. And you’re sure to make them plenty proud in... GRYFFINDOR!

Edited by Giles Cassidy

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Melusina Coves

Nothing was ever enough for Melusina Coves.

She kept her hood drawn back over her head, imagining the self propelling boat she sat in the back row of now was the ferry to Avalon. 
The jumbled towers of the castle looked like an American muggle reality TV trailer home next to the crystal cavern palaces and the fairy tale castles the young girl dreamed up.
She thought she saw the mists of Avalon through the fog, but someone told her they were just something called alchem trails, or hippogriff farts. 
The sea witch inside of her wanted to throw herself into the raging waters. She tried summoning the giant squid from below the depths to prove to the horror movie obsessed muggle boy arguing with her that the squid was really something called a cthulu when Melusina thought the squid to be a transfigured sea hag. But she never did summon the giant squid only a craving for fried calamari. 
Melusina did manage convincing one lad that if he threw all of his galleons into the water, he'd pull out the legendary sword Excalibur. When he only got a plastic spork wielded by a grindylow it was proof that Melusina could use enchantment without having an education.
She could already enchant, but she herself was already so disenchanted.
The trees of the forbidden forest were more of a comforting fortress in her imagination. Part of her fantasized about running away into the forbidden forest. She swore she heard the conch shell comb her grandma pinned to her hair whisper with the same breath putrid as a steaming kraken cake pie. "Wizards belong in towers. Witches belong in the Wilds." 
She thought about running away into the forest, but as much as drinking unicorn blood was probably great for the skin, it apparently drained one of their soul. And she didn't think she'd be allowed to shave her legs or wax her upper lip and eyebrows even if she did get bitten by a feral werewolf. 
As soon as the children stepped off their boats onto the bank, the children were escorted by lantern inside the Great Hall.
Before getting off the boat she splashed herself once with the lakes murky water. She didn't turn into a mermaid form so she just had to accept she was really only a human halfblooded witch.
Which as she gazed up at the knights in suits of armor in wonder as if they were wizards chess pieces come to life battling for her heart. Melusina crushed on whoever looked like they'd be able to crush her enemies. 
As the students gathered outside the hall awaiting their Sorting Ceremony Melusina heard all kinds of speculations about how the houses were chosen. When the deliverer of her destiny turned out to just be an old dusty witches hat the bratty young girl thought most of her classmates deserved wearing tinfoil hats if they thought the Founders Fours thought forms still existed in that hat reading their minds. 
As students were called to be sorted Melusina pulled her mum's tarot cards smuggled up her shirtsleeves to predict where her classmates would be sorted before the Hat did.
She gasped when the strength card depicting the maiden and the lion peeked out at her as soon as a student was sorted into Gryffindor. Another student spied on her just as the Knight of Swords popped out. 
"Hmm maybe this means the sword of Gryffindor will fall out and decapitate half the idiots in this year," Melusina whispered loudly. 
Right before her name was called, Melusina pulled a card for herself, asking which house she belonged to. The Star card appeared but unlike muggle depictions the magical tarot showed a witch with simmering black cauldrons rather than water bearing jars.
Melusina gazed up at the night sky painted above her, at the seven classical planets in their cosmic rotation like dancers swirling around making the Great Hall their ballroom. She focused on connecting the dots of the constellation more than the pimples on some early unfortunate bloomers foreheads. 
No matter what house Melusina was sorted in, she belonged to the houses of the zodiac. And she'd be a Star.
The small pale girl collected her cards back up her sleeve and sat upon the stool envisioning it as her first time upon the stage. For once, a see witch of Covens Cove would be the one to have all eyes on her.
"I think everyone would enjoy the Sorting Hat ceremony more if you hired the internationally successful vampire K pop ban "Necks-2-U" to sing next year." Melusina said aloud. Something was probing and reading her mind even if she didn't believe it to be the voices of the Founders themselves.
She drew a card the exact moment the Sorting Hat began to shout out her house name or out of frustration experiencing the mind of a star and crystal ball gazer who tried to always remain unpredictable herself. 

If we had music I wouldn't be able to hear myself think, Miss Coves. Now let me do what I do best and give you your house. Ah yes, I can see that you have an ambitious and determined nature. There's nothing you wouldn't do to get what you want, is there? You want to be the leader, and you'll stop at nothing to get there. Someone as shrewd and cunning as you will be at home in Salazar's house. You'll create your own coven in... SLYTHERIN!

Edited by Melusina Coves

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Paige Silverstone

Paige was in the boat shivering from the cold and excitement. She had waited for this moment her whole life. She would finally be inside the school of her dreams! As they came up to the school her mouth opened wide. It was even bigger than she thought! She felt like she was dreaming. If this was a dream she never wanted to wake up. Finally after what seemed like an eternity of sitting on the boat they finally had finally arrived. 


Then came the walking. Oh my gosh. So much walking. Her calves were burning. She came to the stairs. So many stairs. Why do they need so many stairs? She thought. As she was walking, she saw a girl with fake elf ears. What the he- is she okay? Ew! She's sniffing herself! Who does that in public? The girl looked like she was struggling to walk up the stairs as much as she was. I guess I shouldn't judge her. Maybe she could actually be a super nice person! 


Now they were all being told to get in line so they can get sorted! Oh my gosh! I cannot wait! This is the moment I've been waiting for my whole life! She thought. She was shaking from the excitement. She didn't care what house she was in. It was an opportunity to learn about magic and spells! It will totally change her life. 


Then they called her name. Her heart stopped. She paused for a second to comprehend what was happening. Then she realized. It was her turn! She slowly starting walking to the chair. She sat down. The professor got the Sorting Hat and put it over Paige's head.

My, you’re a helpful little thing, aren’t you? Forever striving to prop others up, you never hesitate to lend a hand and provide others with what they need to be successful. And you’re intelligent, creative, and filled to the brim with potential! Rowena would certainly enjoy having such a clever witch in her ranks, but... no, I don’t think Ravenclaw is the best fit for you. Another founder is calling for you far stronger, and if you turn your head you’ll see her students decked in yellow. Are you ready, Miss Silverstone? Then stand and join your new classmates in... HUFFLEPUFF!

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Hannah Liu

She lost Davey the moment they stepped off the train, crowds of students who all seemed to tower over Hannah making it near impossible to see where she was going. The petite girl kept Miss Bennett tucked in her robes, holding the small cat protectively to her chest as she was swept up in the crowd.


It was only when she heard a voice instructing first years to follow did she detach herself from the group of older students, her previously spotless Mary Janes now caked with mud and dirt as they were led a lot of questionable looking boats and told to board them. "Really?" The word was gasped in disbelief and had she not been fearful of getting left behind she would've refused to hop aboard the rowboats. 


But everyone else was and Hannah, sucking in a sharp breath, hurried forward. 


It wasn't uncharacteristic for her to be silent, but her usually loud mind was lacking any thoughts as they sailed across the lake. Hogwarts was better than her father had described it and he was a man with a penchant for exaggeration and grandeur. She'd always expected that his stories of his time at Hogwarts weren't as magical as he made them out to be but now, gazing at the wonderful with her mouth hanging agape, Hannah thought that just maybe it would be as amazing as she hoped it would be.  


The wonder she was feeling was soon replaced by nerves as they were all led inside, instructed to wait behind grand wooden doors. 


She knew what was on the other side but that didn't mean Hannah felt she was ready for it yet. 


Initially Hannah had taken to looking around at her peers—the people she would be spending the next seven years with—to see what they were feeling but the varied emotions were too overwhelming and she opted to take the time to give herself and Miss Bennet a pep talk. "We've got this," she whispered firmly, furrowing her brow in determination when the doors finally swung open. "We've wanted this. It's an adventure, a new beginning." She likely looked insane to those around her, whispering to a small wriggling lump that was held protectively in her arms. "A chance to make our own choices, carve our own path." 


Independence! Her own story. It had been one thing the young girl had craved for the longest time. 


When the names began to be called Hannah grinned wide when she heard a familiar one. Pushing herself up onto the tips of her toes to see if she could spot Davey, she was thrown (and shocked!) when a sudden and surprising shove caused her to lose her footing and the hold of the feline in her arms. "Miss Bennet," Hannah gasped as the nonchalant and cool looking Davey passed by her. 


Why had he shoved her? That was the exact opposite of the promise they'd made on the train. Glaring darkly at the back of the boys head the small girl began scanning the floor for her runaway cat.


Liu, Hannah


Oh no. 


Hannah spotted a flash of white disappear under one of the tables as she walked forward, swallowing pitifully in an attempt to rid herself of the lump of nerves that had formed in her throat as she sat on the stool and squeezed her eyes shut. 

Oh my, you certainly have a strong bout of uneasiness brewing inside, don’t you? I can sense it swirling all around in your head... scared, are you? Worry not, Miss Liu, you don’t need to have everything all figured out yet. Your parents might’ve done their all to set you down one path, but you know in your heart what’s right for you and what you want. You’re a very intelligent girl and though doubt may shroud that on occasion, it won’t be long before that fades away. You have drive, a thirst for confidence, and you’ll soon find just that among your new peers in... RAVENCLAW!

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Saroyan Singer

Saroyan had the distinct feeling that he should be more nervous than he was. The other first years were hyper, or sick looking, or had a dead-eyed, thousand-yard stare that had Saro fearing a bit for his life and, meanwhile, he'd compartmentalized everything so tightly that he might not have been feeling anything at all.


Don't get him wrong, he was excited—they were riding self-driving boats to a bloody castle—but his perma-calm felt out of place beside even his boatmates, one of whom was half-hanging out of the boat into the lake while another heaved over its side. Cool, coolcoolcool. That stink was gonna ruin the spaghetti he'd stashed in his back pocket for later.


(Not really, though. Nothing could ruin pocket spaghetti.)


His serene smile carried him through the boat ride, up through the great front doors that looked like they led to a boss fight he was woefully underleveled for, all the way to the moment he stood in a herd of semi-familiar kids in front of something that was definitely not a traffic cone.


Had he been lied to this whole time?


Was there even a House of Pain?


All that compartmentalization started to dissolve and Saro quickly went from super calm to only pretty calm which, for him, was panicked. He hadn't paid nearly enough attention to any of the lessons over the summer to know what was expected of him, not for this and not for later when he'd be living with a bunch of strangers for, like, ever.


He hadn't packed enough spaghetti for all of them!


What was he supposed to do, not share?






He wasn't sure quite what to do. Part of it made sense: walk up to the stool. Put the screaming hat on his head. And then? Some of his classmates (!!!!) were talking out loud to the hat, some of them were silent. Some of them could have been dead beneath it and he wouldn't be able to tell the difference. What even was the decorum here? Words? No words?


Should he do a kick-flip off the stage to impress the hat?


Should he serenade it with a classic?


That sorting cone did not prepare him for this.


In the end, Saroyan went with a simpler approach and only hummed a little bit when the hat was placed atop his wild curls; it was, he thought, a fair middle-ground and the hat might appreciate some light entertainment to refresh him. And, maybe, he'd get a lead on where to find more shareable spaghetti that wasn't, y'know, heated by its proximity to his bum. In retrospect, sharing that might leave a sour taste in his new classmates' mouths.

Who’s this? Ah, Mister Singer, aren’t you a sweet little thing? If I didn’t know any better I might’ve even thought Helga Hufflepuff herself was under my brim! You’re very genuine, laidback, kind, and want nothing more than to share your compassion with those around you. Ensuring fair treatment is very important to you, isn’t it? And equality, too... well, I needn’t keep you waiting any longer. It’s clear you’ll make yourself comfortable and thrive among your many comrades in... HUFFLEPUFF!

Edited by Saroyan Singer

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Eugenie Rosewood

Sitting on a rinky dink boat as they traversed across the lake was not her idea of how she wanted to arrive at Hogwarts. They were literally ancient boats that had been around for ages and she was afraid they would tip over at any second. They creaked and croaked as they moved along without anyone paddling them, presumably by magic. Somehow though she had arrived to the castle intact without falling over dramatically into the lake or something else eventful happening. Once she saw how they were arriving she hoped that everyone would be arriving to Hogwarts that way so she could make Etta drowning in a lake look like an accident, but alas, the other years seemed to be getting there a different way — namely through strange horseless carriages. 


Hogwarts didn’t look all that impressive as she had gazed up on it from the lake — she was used to castles herself, and she wondered what would be different about this one. It did look nicely illuminated in the darkness. One thing that she wanted to be different was her relationship with Etta. Her older cousin had all of the power at Brackleberry but they’d be on a more even playing field at Hogwarts and she was going to take advantage of this opportunity. Eugenie had a mischievous grin on her face as she sat there along with all of the other first years that she was going to be attending Hogwarts with and pondered all the ways that she could possibly get attention on herself for this supposed “sorting” they were having. 


There wasn’t a lot to go by — before Etta and Willa had gone to Hogwarts, the magical people in her community had been home schooled. And it wasn’t like Etta or Willa was going to tell how how they were sorted. She didn’t want to ask either — she would have needed something — and they would’ve had all the power. There was no way that Eugenie was going to put herself in that situation. 


Luckily they were calling people in alphabetical order so Eugenie could see exactly what was going on before it was going to be her turn. Her nose wrinkled in disgust as she saw the “hat” that they were supposed to be putting on their head. Why couldn’t it have been a tiara? 


A skeptical look crossed her face as the hat said it could read their thoughts — but how could a hat possibly know all of that? Rosewood, Eugenie! Her name was finally called and she tossed her blonde locks over her shoulder and sauntered up to the hat. She gazed out on the crowd as she did so suddenly aware that there was a bunch of staring eyes at her and for once she was actually slightly nervous. 


Etta and Willa already had a year at Hogwarts to learn it — she would be behind them and she was suddenly aware of how much she didn’t know. She was eager to figure out what it was that she didn’t but it still made her vaguely aware that she still wasn’t in the position of power that she craved. Instead of making a scene that she had planned to, after she sauntered up to the hat, simply put it on her head and sat down, preparing herself to learn her fate for the next seven years of her life. 

My, my... you have quite a craving for power, Miss Rosewood! This determination to make a name for yourself and usurp whatever influence you can from your own family would fit quite well into the house of Slytherin, who appreciated those who put their own ambitions above all else. And yet, without this incredibly intelligent mind you have, I don't think any of it would be possible! You are calculating and deliberate your actions carefully before making them, and I think this is something that would be even more appreciated in... RAVENCLAW!

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Morwenna Gamp

The real Hogwarts wasn’t quite what Morwenna had imagined. On the restless nights leading up to her departure, her mind conjured up all sorts of images as she tried to piece together the snippets of information she’d gotten from her grandparents. But when she first spotted the castle, tall and mighty against the evening sky, she realized that it was better than anything she’d thought of before.


She couldn’t remember ever feeling so thrilled, so excited, or so ready to rush in. She claimed a spot by the bow of her boat and leaned forward, watching with widened eyes and a smile as they all crossed the lake. The whole time, Morwenna could barely tear her gaze away—even when the water splashed loudly near them, or when the boat tipped a little too much before righting itself.


And when they huddled together in the entrance hall, a sea of black robes nested in the castle’s warmth, Morwenna couldn’t wait for what came next. Unabashedly, she let her gaze wander; she saw nearly a half-dozen ways out, from corridors to a grand staircase to doors leading to mysterious places. She wanted to peek everywhere, but she was soon herded along with the rest of her peers through a pair of massive doors instead. When she saw what waited on the other side, she almost wanted to turn tail and run.


The hall was huge and filled with people, and the unsettling part was that they were all looking at her. When looking back on this moment in a few days, Morwenna would likely remember that everyone was watching all the first years, but such a thought didn’t occur to her now. She gulped, shuffling along with the rest of the mass, but she held her chin high and refused to look away. She barely noticed the sky above her, so intent on making eye contact (as if she had something to prove) and gauging the older students by the different colors they wore.


When she did finally look right at someone as their gaze passed over her, she couldn’t relish it for long. The ceremony was beginning, and Morwenna refused to miss a single second. It started with a hat—a singing one, at that—and before long, she was watching her soon-to-be classmates walk up to receive their judgment, one at a time. Each time, the hat thundered.


They reached the Es and the Fs, and now the Gs. Morwenna’s heart fluttered in her throat when her name was called. But though her first step was a slight stumble, she didn’t wait. She wouldn’t wait, wouldn’t freeze like some rabbit under the watchful eye of a fox. She pressed on, hands stiff at her sides, until she had to turn and face the hall. She sat.


Morwenna breathed out when the hat was placed on her head, blocking the rest of the world from view. Now, she waited.

You want to be seen as strong, do you, Miss Gamp? A girl with as much passion as you would certainly have little trouble achieving that, but where to put you? What house would best help you along the way? You have no lacking of morals and it’s important to you that you stick to them, and that others stick to whatever morals they too have set for themselves. You want people to be genuine and true; as it’s what you thrive to be. And your confidence... it’s insurmountable; boosting you forward to explore and discover new things. Rowena would certainly enjoy your analytical nature, but you’ll uncover many more adventures in... GRYFFINDOR!

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Hootie Holliday

Her socks were a bit soggy inside of her shoes and she felt a bit frumpy. With her ponytail sagging to the side of her head a bit, Hootie wiped at her cheeks again as this whole experienced overwhelmed her belly and she didn't feel so good. It was one thing going from home to that magical diagonal place but it suddenly really began to sink in that she wasn't going home after this. This wasn't just a day worth's excursion, this was a whole school year! 


"Oh no," she whispered after a sniffle, feeling the sensation of tears again. She couldn't cry in front of all these people! She barely cried in front of her own brothers and they were all boys. How could she hold it in? There was no time for her to figure it.


"Holliday, Hootie."


As her eyes fogged up with tears and she blinked over and over again to clear them. Only her lashes seemed to cling to the watery droplets and create a dam of tears that were threatening to break at any moment now.


Sitting on the stool, her chest tight and short of breath, she looked around the room slowly. She felt like a deer caught in headlights and knew exactly how that must look to everyone else because of that one time she was riding with her father from the market and-- wait, that was a story for another time.


With the all the will power she could muster, Hootie did her very best not to let a single tear drop. She willed them all to stick to her eyeballs and blind her if necessary but she was not going to cry. Watching as this mysterious talking hat was brought to her side, she could smell the material-- a bit musky, a bit like old worn leather. Not at all terrible and all the more reminding her of the home she'd left behind.


It was placed on her head and almost simultaneously the dams broke. Warm tears streaked her cheeks as her shoulders wobbled. Her little hands shook as she clasped them in front of her, sucking in air in hiccuppy manner. This was not the reaction a single one of these other kids had and she couldn't figure out why she had to be the only one to be a big eleven-year-old baby. 


"At least have a good reason to be crying you dumb girl!" she scolded herself in her own head. "You're sitting in front of your entire school with a handsome hat on your head. blubbering like a baby, what is wrong with you?" if only she knew her thoughts weren't so secret.


Hootie had never felt more embarrassed in her entire life.

It's all right my dear! There's no reason to cry. I'll sort you quickly so that you can go off and enjoy the feast. How does that sound? Now let's see... you have a streak of boldness that Godric would appreciate, and a desire for justice. But there's more to you than that. You care about fairness and equality, you value loyalty among your peers, and are deeply empathetic. Dry those tears my dear, you're off to... HUFFLEPUFF!

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Ellery Orr

That’s where we’re going? That’s our school?” she had squeaked out in awe, her voice embarrassingly high-pitched. Ellery could not help herself from the outburst after stepping off the train, but she firmly clamped her jaw down once the comment elicited a few derisive snorts of laughter. “Sorry, I didn’t realise I should’ve assumed I would be living in a castle today,” she muttered under her breath before following the shortest crowd of black robes.


Her actions on the train were not indicative of any sort of grace being a central part of her personality, but at least she could be thankful that her clumsiness had saved her from awkwardly loitering and remaining on her feet in the corridors for hours and upon hours. But even so, her body still felt that specific sort of physical exhaustion that came from simply traveling, a sensation that was somehow both contradicted yet multiplied by her now-sharpened mental state to like, not say stupid things. Specifically, the closer the Hogwarts Express choo-choo’d to their destination, Ellery became increasingly aware of the fact that she was so horribly unaware of so much about this entire new world.


If Ellery had been more skilled in interpreting her own feelings, she would have recognized how this awareness brought a concerning mixture of joyful curiosity and unadulterated panic that was normal for someone experiencing a new environment. Instead, all she could think about was:


1. How she wished she had been nicer to her magical cousins so they would have prepared her better for this

b. That she should have hemmed the sleeves on her robes kept annoyingly falling down past her wrists


The pit of her stomach dropped as the boats lurched forward and she added another wish to that list.


III. That she absolutely needed to avoid barfing and really solidifying becoming that social pariah



Once the boats reached the shore, Ellery tilted her head upwards as she tucked one hand into the pocket of her new set of robes to ensure that her favorite crystal was still secured as they were herded indoors. Stuck in the middle of the pack without very much height to assist her, she saw little but the backs of other black robes until a grand set of doors opened. Her eyes immediately went upwards to gaze at the beautiful night-sky…until she realized that they were indoors.


How did they do that?


A voice snapped her neck down again. Ellery began to smile at the appearance of Bones, but worry swiftly wiped it away. “Why would they throw us out?” she apprehensively replied. “Antiperspirants?” Just to be safe, she took a quick sneaky sniff of her own armpits and was not sure if the would be considered to be offensive or not. But by then, the other girl had shuffled away, leaving Ellery alone to contemplate her own impending doom with the added concern that she also smelled bad.


Just like how weekend hours pass far more quickly than school hours, the time it took to reach “Orr, Ellery!” felt like a millisecond. As she walked towards the stool, she withdrew her hands from her pocket, her left still clutching the delicate pale pink crystal hidden in her palm. Her eyes squeezed shut as she felt the weight of the brim against her forehead and-




A school-second later, Ellery peeped one eye open slightly with hesitation. She realized she was holding her breath for some painful or considerable impact. “…Okay, but like, now what?” she blurted out with a big exhale.

HELLO--oh, I apologise, that was much too loud. I didn't mean to keep you waiting, it's just... your mind is so wonderful. It's a fine thing, but also makes you quite difficult to place. Your strong adoration of Tesco makes me wish I could sprout legs and go to one myself, Miss Orr. I apologize on behalf of the wizarding world that we have none to offer you. I do, however, believe that with your strong will and enthusiasm you are capable of achieving all of your goals, including that pile of snacks you're after. Can you even eat all of that? I bet you can, you rascal. Perhaps you could even open your own Tesco for wizards and spread the delight to all of your peers. In fact, if you don't, I'll be disappointed, and surprised. Pave the way to true success in... SLYTHERIN!

Edited by Ellery Orr

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Freya Douglass

Quite frankly, it didn't matter where Freya would be sleeping that evening. All that mattered was she was finally over that long, strange journey from the trains to the boats - or so she thought. She was riddled with nerves the whole way and she thought by reaching the Great Hall that the pit in her stomach would vanish.


Negative. It worsened, if anything. She remained with a poker face, watching as other students continued to make the trek to the Sorting Hat. D wasn't far along in the alphabet, however - a realization that caused Freya's palms to feel clammy. Would she faint? She really hoped not. It was bad enough that every eye in this humongous room, filled with some number of students she couldn't even estimate, would be upon her in just a few moments.


Douglass, Freya.


She thought about not moving. Perhaps just run out of the Great Hall and back onto the boats to her parents. It was a fleeting thought, her feet already moving and trying to get around the other first years. A few 'excuse me's and 'sorry's later and she was sitting, very aware of the weight of the hat about to graze her head.


Freya closed her eyes, just hoping this hat wouldn't take too long. She didn't know where she fit either, so how could this object? And for the next seven years? Rather, her whole life would be pinpointed to this moment.


How was she supposed to eat after this realization that her entire destiny wasn't even hers to choose?

Ah, but Miss Douglass, you can rest easy knowing that it is and always will be your choices that form your destiny, even now. I am merely a hat, after all; a vessel to sort through what you want most of all, and where best you might achieve it. What’s that? Haven’t got that figured out yet? Not to worry! You’ve plenty of time ahead of you and a strong moral code that will certainly help guide you along the way. You depend on that and your instincts quite a bit, don’t you? And you’re perceptive too, paying close attention to those around you and the intentions they hold. Rowena would certainly appreciate your analytical nature, but no. That’s not where you belong. Such a strong, virtuous girl as you has no better home than... GRYFFINDOR!

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Mabel Appleton

"Appleton, Mabel."


Mabel put the hat on her head.


I am perfect. You can pick whatever house you want.

My, my, Miss Appleton. Would you be shocked if I told you that Helga would be impressed with the way that you value loyalty and fairness? And yet, that would hardly be the right house for you, now would it? Let's see... you place a heavy emphasis on blood purity, and see others as stepping stones to your own goals. Yes, I know just where to put you. Don't be surprised if your classmates in your new house are not so eager to serve your goals instead of their own--you're off to... SLYTHERIN!

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Jackson Trice

Jackson wasn’t one to get nervous. In fact, when it might be beneficial for nerves to kick in so as to prevent one from doing something incredibly stupid and dangerous, Jack’s very rarely showed up to the party. Or, if they did, it was 10 minutes to late. And, by that point he had typically ruined at least one item of furniture and/or put another hole into a wall of their house. Fortunately, the walls at Hogwarts looked a good deal more heavily reinforced and altogether Jack-proof. Of course, @Adam Sinclair was here, and so it would be interesting to see if they were Adam-proof. He doubted the outlook was good.


But I digress. The point of all of this was to say that Jack was very much nervous in the present moment. Perhaps it was because of all of the waiting, allowing time for the butterflies to kick in, or maybe it was that all he had eaten was sugar quills, chocolate frogs, and a questionable tuna sandwich. Questionable because he had made it himself, not packed it in any sort of cooler, and then waited until after 3 to eat it in all of its room temperature glory. Needless to say, questionable food plus having a hat examine your brain made for Jack about to hurl all over the back of the head in front of him.


His dad would be so proud. 


And, you know, he might have actually done it had his name not been called right then. As it were, he gulped down the bit of bile creeping up into his mouth, willing himself to make it to the stool without losing the contents of his stomach. Would it be socially unacceptable to vomit into the sorting hat? Would they still make him put it on or would they postpone the remainder of the ceremony until the following day? It was a mystery. Side note, Jack was never eating tuna salad again.

Feeling ill, Mister Trice? Why, there isn’t any need to be... oh. Right. Well, I’ll try to make this quick, then! Wouldn’t want you to be sick in front of all your friends! Your relationships with them are very important to you, aren’t they? Yes, I see you’re quite the sociable boy and strive to make everyone happy. Selfishness is something you’re strongly opposed to, but even so I sense a forgiving spirit within you that one of Hogwarts’ founders would look very highly upon. You’re bold, analytical, and ambitious, but most of all fair and loyal, and that will see you making many friends in... HUFFLEPUFF!

Edited by Jackson Trice

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Tulip Blossom

Tulip entered the Great Hall with a wide grin on her face, not a care in the world that her and her little quartet of a boat had toppled into the lake. A little swim before she got sorted was nothing to the blonde.


In fact all she cared about was going through the process of getting sorted - the idea of a supposed talking hat had the girl intrigued. No matter how much she'd read up on the school and magic in general, she was constantly surprised by new things.


The carriages for the older students being pulled by nothing had definitely been something.


"Blossom, Tulip."


Tulip sent a mock salute to her boys.


"Catch ya later boys."

Tulip Blossom... what a fitting name for such an adventurous girl like you! Little will stand in the way of you discovering new things, will it? You’re bold, daring, and unafraid to take risks whenever something calls for it. Hufflepuff would certainly appreciate your loyalty and dedication, but... no, I can’t place you there. Another founder is calling your name far stronger, practically grappling to have you join his ranks, and daren’t I deny him. You, Tulip, will find yourself blossoming vibrantly in... GRYFFINDOR!

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Levon Rockwell

A stool and a hat.

An expectant shout of his name.

His destiny sealed.

Hmm… well, Mister Rockwell, if there’s one thing you’re certainly not lacking, its distinctiveness! You’ve a rather strong set of morals, haven’t you? And though it mightn’t be your first instinct to cause commotion, you will stand up when those are crossed. Godric would undoubtedly appreciate that in you and foster the drive for justice, but you’re also loyal and fair; two traits that have Helga smiling. You strive to do your best for people and you’d certainly find others willing to help in Hufflepuff, but... no. I don’t believe that’s the best place for you either. You’re chivalrous, loyal and fair, but above all I sense a very inquisitive, intelligent, individualistic person bursting to come out. Your analytical mind is always on the lookout for the facts. Truth is something that never should be sacrificed, right? And you’ll find yourself among many like-minded peers in... RAVENCLAW!

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Calder Milano

As Calder disembarked from the boat, he couldn't help but to cast a glance towards his soon-to-be-classmate. The eleven-year-old had meant it as a joke, telling @Jean Li that they'd have to fight the Giant Squid as they crossed the lake in an attempt to make light of the situation. However, it seemed to make things worse as she seemed more nervous than when they'd first started their journey.


Uh, oops?


He could do little more than watch on guiltily as the proceedings began, one by one taking their turn at the stool. Calder, for his part didn't know much beyond the fact the hat was key to sorting. It would've done him a world of good to ask his mam or da for more information. But if this was to be his first initiation into Hogwarts, he wanted to experience it for himself without having to absorb every little detail right then and there. The questions would come later, but for now, Calder just wanted to have a bit of fun.


For now he would have to content himself with watching everyone else go through this trial, discreetly trying to offer Jean a thumbs up when her turn had arrived. It didn't seem dangerous, though he could see the hat talking to itself every so often. Or was it talking to the person perched beneath it? Calder frowned at that thought, wondering if the hat would go so far as to test their knowledge then and there. He knew some things, sure. But what was it expecting of them?


"Milano, Calder!"


His gaze snapped upwards, glancing towards the professor and the now vacant stool. Merlin, was he actually ready for this? Calder thought that fighting the Giant Squid might have been a better option by this point. Though, if worse came to worst, he supposed he could always fight the hat to salvage his dignity if something went wrong.

I am certainly glad I have no toes for you to step on, Mister Milano, as I can see you'd have no hesitation stepping on them whether to get something you wanted or to protect those you hold closest. I see greatness within your mind that is going to benefit you throughout the years. Your ambition is truly admirable, and your dedication to your beliefs and those who can help you will aid you in your journey in... SLYTHERIN!

Edited by Calder Milano

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Sage Scattergood

Finally freed from the close confines of the train, Sage thought she would finally get some room to breathe, but she was immediately ushered through a crowd into packed little boats. Sure, she could breathe a bit better, but barely a moment went by before they clearly wanted her to go right back inside of somewhere else. Didn't these people know that eleven-year-olds needed space? 


She hung back as long as she could, but eventually she had to join her class in the entrance, and file into the Great Hall-- where she could see the sky! She wove her way through the line of first years to reach Ash, her head still craned to take in the stars, "I'm one hundred percent sleeping down here, right?" 


It was one thing to try and sneak outside to sleep in Scotland, but she was pretty sure the Great Hall at least would stay warm enough.


Oh, and the hat said her name eventually, forcing her to tear her eyes away from the night sky. 

I bet it's tough for you to be sitting here right now, stuck in one place for entirely too long while some old hat prattles on about the inner workings of your brain. You know, there's an old story about a man who was the same way. It's really good. It's set in rural Scotland, where farmers would tend their crops with... just kidding, I only wanted to see how long you could stand this torture. I can see your restlessness building. Basically, you're a curious overachiever and a brilliant thinker who Rowena would have loved. Go... RAVENCLAW!

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Ashleigh Nightingale

The ride from King's Cross had been hellish, a nightmare zone of spending way too long cooped up in a little compartment with nothing to do. Ash was a person who needed fresh air, some space and, most of all, something to keep her mind occupied better than the little book of crosswords her stepmother had given her for the train ride.
The post-train journey wasn't much better and Ash found herself desperate to just get it over with pretty much three seconds into the boat ride. Waiting to be let into the Great Hall, she wormed her way to the front just in case that could help her get called up early and have the whole rigmarole done and dusted.
Sage joined her once they were inside, apparently captivated by the hall's ceiling. Ash looked up at it, too. It was certainly impressive, and pretty, but Ash was no romantic -- it wasn't a real sky and no matter how convincing it looked it wouldn't be the same as sleeping under the real stars.
"Wherever we end up sleeping most nights," she murmured to Sage, "we definitely should have some real campouts outdoors." That would be an authentic experience, even if it was probably bitter cold out there for most of the year.
Ash was jolted from mentally planning all the fun outdoor trips they were going to have together (and maybe with some new friends?) by her name being called at last. She jogged up to the stool at the front of the hall, sat down and eagerly awaited the hat's decision.

Passion... enthusiasm... confidence, ah, calm down, Miss Nightingale! I’m not done yet! You’re a very bold little thing, aren’t you? And eager to get started on your new journey, no doubt. Godric definitely has his eye on your gallant nature, and I might feel so inclined to agree with him... if there wasn’t so much more. Digging a little deeper, I see a girl with insurmountable curiosity, bursting at the chance to quench it. You’re intelligent... yes, very intelligent, and have the ability to discover and learn anything you’ve set your mind to. You would definitely fit in well with the Gryffindors... but where would you thrive? The answer to that, I believe, is located at that table just over there. See the students decked in blue? Stand now and join them in... RAVENCLAW!

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Sorting Hat

And for those who were not able to post here:


Aleksander Midnight
Hmm... yes... interesting. Well, Mister Midnight, you mightn't be the easiest egg to crack, but you certainly have a fascinating mind! Resourceful, yes, and very cunning -- you have a quick mind, but let's not race to any early conclusions. There's more to you than manipulation, and plenty that's admirable. You've a strong sense of loyalty, both in what you offer and what you expect to receive. Faithful and reluctant to judge, you seem to relish in a sense of community, which you'll discover in spades in... HUFFLEPUFF!

Isadora Turlough
My dear, you are an interesting one, aren't you? You want to stand in the spotlight, but you also are very humble, and don't want to stand out. Where to put you... where to put you... I see, yes, you want to learn everything you can at Hogwarts. That would endear you to Rowena's house, but there's something else here. Your strong ties to your family and humble and caring nature mean that there's just one place you belong... HUFFLEPUFF!

Orion Henrion
Why, this is a rather comfortable head you have here, Mister Henrion. And what’s that I smell? Turnip?! Aha, just kidding! I’m only a hat, after all, and can’t smell anyway. I can, however, sort you, so if you’ll hold still for just a moment I will... ah, yes. You’re a rather ambitious boy, aren’t you? But also very loyal... yes, I see there isn’t much you wouldn’t do for your family. Helga has quite the eye for such honorable lads as you, but intertwined with it is also ambition. Intense ambition, pulling you forward to achieve your goals. You might’ve made a decent fit in Hufflepuff, but there’s a much better place for a boy as determined as you. And that place is… SLYTHERIN!

Rosemary Griffis
Hello, Miss Griffis! Excited to be sorted, are you? Yes, I could sense the anticipation radiating off you even before I touched your head! Not to worry; your dinner and new friends aren’t going anywhere. They’ll be there and waiting just as soon as I sort you. And where to put you, I wonder? Hmm, kind and helpful, you want to see people happy and will defend those weaker than you whenever necessary. You’d certainly find yourself among many other helpful, loyal people in Hufflepuff, but is that the best place for you? No... no, I think not. Ultimately you want to be seen as strong and that coupled with your insurmountable chivalry will fit you far better into... GRYFFINDOR!

Russell Spear
SLYTH--oh, do you need more than that? Young man, you are practically the image of Salazar himself. Every action you take is centered around yourself and how you can best position yourself to succeed. You're exceedingly clever and cunning, and I'm certain that you will thrive in Salazar's house, surrounded by classmates that can help you achieve your goals. You're off to... SLYTHERIN!

Sylveta Whisproke
My, Miss Whisproke, you’re quite the firecracker, aren’t you? Filled to the brim with passion, you march through life with an air of boldness which allows you to stand up for what you feel is right and never back down. You seek adventure and respect and those in Gryffindor would certainly march right along with you as you continue on with that endeavour. But... in you I also see a strong work ethic, empathy, and self-sacrifice. You’d do whatever you could to make another feel comfortable, wouldn’t you? And you’re fair, a trait that has another founder’s interest greatly piqued. You would make such a great Gryffindor... but, your work ethic and compassion will make you a much stronger member of... HUFFLEPUFF!

Theodora Valiant
Ooooh, what a conundrum I have! You see, Miss Valiant, I can sense two of our founders warring over you, and I am uncertain whose side to choose! Yes, Hufflepuff would yearn for your strong work ethic, which you use to strive for each of your goals. But these lofty aspirations are what make Slytherin yell for you even louder. You see, I think your determination to protect yourself and these goals of yours are what ultimately swings me to sort you into... SLYTHERIN!

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