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Kirk Lawson

THE SNITCHOFF

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Kirk Lawson

THE SNITCHOFF

 

Once upon a time, long long ago, there was an idiot who managed to get detention repeatedly in flying class. Kirk, against his better judgement, thought he could make this idiot see reason and appreciate rules by giving him a chance to fly when the world's hottest professor had banned local idiot, Juan Garcia, to a life on the ground. It had been an impulsive decision that Kirk would regret forever. 

 

....Mistakes had been made. 

 

Mistakes would continue to be made, apparently, because Garcia had broken five different rules for over a year when they weren't even scheduled to be playing by stealing snitches. Kirk stared, in horror, as Garcia did what Garcia did best... ruin everything. Again. 


RULES: 

  • Post a RP! WC ~10-50+. OPEN TO ALL.
  • Your goal is to catch the snitches, or otherwise attempt to keep other people from catching them. 
  • People who catch the snitch on the pre-selected minutes within the next hour from Garcia's post. They will win a prize of either:
    • A. a kiss on the cheek from Abigail Goodfellow OR
    • B. a piggyback ride from Luke Cronus, actual beefcake
  • The Slytherin Quidditch team is not liable re: injuries acquired while utilizing team equipment. Play at your own risk.
  • The SNITCHOFF begins after Juan Garcia's post below. 

 

 

Edited by Kirk Lawson

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Juan Garcia

Okay, so… maybe his idea had faded just as quickly as it had come. Being good was ultimately much harder than he thought it’d be. Sky was so good it was almost boring, and he followed every rule, unless Sofie was already breaking it and he had to follow along. But there was just something in Juan that didn’t permit him to be as boring and stationary as his starbro.

 

So once he’d unpacked, Juan found the tiny snitches he’d nicked the year before when he’d snuck into the broom shed to try and fly around a bit. Kirk insisted on all equipment being checked out, catalogued, and turned in at a specific time. So to bypass all that bureaucratic mess, Juan had simply taken what he needed when he wanted and didn’t really intend on returning the snitches ever.

 

But… He’d told himself this was the year of change, and the year of change it was going to be. Grabbing the snitches in his hands, he walked out into the great hall, spotted Kirk, and went up to him.

 

“Alright, dude,” he said, hands clenching the golden snitches, “I took these last year, but… I told my parents I wasn’t gonna get in trouble this year and that I’d be good. So…”

 

He opened his hands, accidentally letting the snitches fly out and zoom around the GREAT HALL. “AH CRAP! CATCH THEM!”

 

THIS IS NOW OPEN!

Edited by Juan Garcia

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Irene Redgrave

Irene steadfastly refused to participate in anything run by Captain TIghtpants and his lackey the Lonley Juan.  She was not here.. at all... and certainly not hiding in any convenient shrubbery(?) [[I can't spell ok]] PLANTS and spying. She was not doing this. She was not. Ok bai.

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Molly Stone

"Kirk, Juan!" Molly greeted, followed closely by. "I will be catching all the snitches." This was great practice for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, as far as Molly was concerned.

 

In a swift motion, she mounted her broom and soared through the hall, diving for each spotted flash of gold. 

Edited by Molly Stone

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Abigail Goodfellow

"You gave Garcia responsibilities?" Dammit Kirk. This is why we can't have nice things. 

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Kieran Wells

This was like that one time in the Quidditch shop. Snitches everywhere!

 

"Ooh dibs!"

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Atlas Wyrmwort

Atlas's eyes went wide as he violently whipped around when something hit the back of his head. "OI." He saw a pack of snitches rapidly fluttering about. "Oh..." He cringed moving his hand up to try and snatch one from the air in front of him.

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Kirk Lawson

"I did not," Kirk said to Goodfellow, appalled that she would even think such a thing. 

 

At least Stone was here to help clean up. Kirk shot her a grateful look before turning to yell at Garcia.

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Elke Pollard

Elke was in no way equipped to deal with this. 

 

A snitch flew by her and her reasonable response was to hide under the table.

 

 

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Fern Blackburn

Fern wasn't a Quidditch player by any means, but these tiny little golden snitches were just too cute. "Ooh, I want one!" she exclaimed with wide eyes and she grabbed through the air.

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Behati Gadot

Behati had her brekkie in front of her and she was ready to dig in when the bloke who'd gotten in a fight with that Ravenclaw girl on sorting night came in, opened his hands, and all of a sudden these small ball-thingies flitted around the Great Hall. She reached out and tried to catch one.

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Molly Stone

By "her broom," I hope it's clear Molly means the broom she stole from the broom shed. 

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Kirk Lawson

THE FIRST MINUTE WAS :11.

HILARIOUSLY, @Irene Redgrave CLAIMS THE FIRST OF THE SNITCHES, DESPITE NOT WANTING TO BE INVOLVED. 

 

The rest of the snitches begin to flit and dive strangely, as if Garcia took very poor care of them. D: Poor snitches. 

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Kieran Wells

"JUAN CAN I KEEP THESE?" Kieran wanted a snithc. "or just one??"

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Grover Penn

Grover knew nothing about Snitches.

 

Well, I mean, he knew plenty about snitches (AND HOW THEY GOT STICHES), but Snitches—you know, those tiny golden balls with wings—were another matter entirely.

 

Grover didn’t play Quidditch.  He knew as much about Quidditch as any other young gentleman or lady his age, but when it came to brooms it was racing or death.

 

… Figurative death.

 

Having said that, when Juan’s guilty conscious decided to rear its ugly head in the middle of the Great Hall during morning breakfast, Quidditch and brooms were the very last thing on Grover’s mind.

 

“Dude,” he started around a mouthful of egg.  He swallowed, “Dude, you’re not supposed to admit your guilt.”

 

As if to lead by example, Grover snatched a snitch on the sly, and quietly pocketed it.

 

“…”

 

SEE JAUN.  THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE.

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Kaleb Kennedy

Like hell Molly Stone would catch those snitches before Kaleb. The Gryffindor Second Year mounted a broom that he had stolen uhh borrowed (??) and made his dash towards the snitches.

 

Flit.

 

Kaleb dived towards the flit.

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Juan Garcia

THE SECOND MINUTE WAS :17.

WHICH MAKES @Kieran Wells THE NEXT PERSON TO HAVE SUCCESSFULLY CAUGHT A SNITCH.

 

He stared at the chaos he'd made and eyed Kirk uneasily. With a derp face. Because oh no he'd messed up big time.

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Kieran Wells

"Maybe 2???" that wasn't greedy right.

 

"Hey Fern!" Kieran waved. Okay 1 for Kieran and 1 for Fern. He supposed it would be okay if she got to catch one.

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Atlas Wyrmwort

"This is pissing me off." Atlas snarled as he reached out trying once more to snatch a snitch from the air. He was at quite a disadvantage since he refused to get on a bloody broom like some of the other insane people.

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Elke Pollard

Elke remained under the table, safe and away from the snitches.

 

But hungry and away from her food. 

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Juan Garcia

"Kieran you can't keep ANY or Kirk'll have my arse."

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Fern Blackburn

If it wasn't obvious she wasn't cut out for Quidditch by now, this was a clear sign. "Come here.. snitches.." Fern said in a sing-song voice as she continued to try (and fail) to catch one. Reason #512 she wished she knew the Summoning Charm.

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Molly Stone

Kaleb also had a broom. "Mine!" Molly shouted, diving after Kaleb for the snitch. 

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Celeste Ferranti

What was even happening in the Great Hall? "Why are you on the table? We eat there!" Ugh boys were the worst. 

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Juan Garcia

WHO THE HELL HAD BROUGHT IN BROOMS INTO THE GREAT HALL???? WHAT?!

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