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LunaR Announces Plans for Worry-Free Future

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LunaR founder, Alnaud Picardy, who announced the new program with big promises of a werewolf solution last year, has broken his silence after weeks of research into the properties of lycanthropy.


"The LunaR program is proud to finally announce plans for a successful and safe future for everyone," Picardy released in a public statement on Monday. "The knowledge my team and I have gained through prior weeks is vast, and many may not understand, but I will put it simply: we will be vanishing the moon."


The statement immediately caught the attention of many, and some have now dubbed Picardy "The LunaRtic" in viral outrage.


"I would put my trust in Alnaud," argued Pablo Portkey of The Quibbler, attempting to calm the masses. "There are many beasts and beings negatively affected by the lunar effect each month. It almost seems like common sense to get rid of it altogether."


Professional witches and wizards around the globe are demanding Picardy cease and desist, as many potions, spells, and experimental magic depend on the moon cycle for accuracy and success.


"I thought the man was a genius at first. Now I'm fairly certain he doesn't even understand basic potion-making," said Orion Barslav, creator of a variety of runes which require ambient energy from the moon to aid their power.


Alnaud has not been discouraged by the public's reaction, and, in fact, expected it.


"I have no doubt in LunaR's research or abilities," he responded, "and encourage those who require moon power for their magic to explore different energies. The moon is not our only magical resource, after all; it is, however, often the reason for our suffering."


He also invited those who may need to research moon alternatives to his vacation home in Albania, which provides privacy and many resources for their experimentation.


LunaR is expected to continue research and will be releasing the official date of The Great Moon Vanish as soon as they have one.

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