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The Daily Prophet

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Wizarding Britain's number one source for news and information since 1743.

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Jacobins Call for New Head of Auror Department

As the investigation into the November 8 attack winds down, noted conservative activists Michael and Insley Jacobin have begun calling for Harry Potter to step down from his post as Chief Auror.   “Although Harry Potter has earned his title as The Boy Who Lived and spent decades of his life in service to the wizarding community, it is time that he step aside. The fact that his granddaughter, @Avery Potter, was turned into a werewolf during the attack, means that he cannot be trusted t

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Leprechaun Gold Found in Use: Goblin Experts Called

The Department of Magical Games and Sports is working in conjunction with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement to crack down on the use of Leprechaun gold to buy souvenirs and team items at Quidditch matches. In recent months there has been a rise in complaints to both departments from disgruntled stall owners who have found their money suddenly disappearing.    "Now I'm not saying that this has only become a problem since the Otley Outsiders were let into the league," said Susan

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Werewolves Responsible for Liverpool Attack Admit It Was Intentional

LIVERPOOL--The wizarding community in Liverpool was rocked by tragedy the night of February 5, when transformed werewolves attacked a party that was taking place in a local park that’s frequented by wizard families. Reports have emerged in the last few days of numerous casualties both at the party, and of muggle bystanders in the surrounding area.   Last night, The Daily Prophet was informed that the Werewolf Capture Unit was able to track down and capture the werewolves who were respo

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Part-Vampires Banned From Wand Ownership

Following the brutal murders of the Rees family, noted conservative activists Michael and Insley Jacobin have successfully pushed the ministry to enforce existing laws on the books that ban part-vampires from owning wands. Those part-vampires who own wands have been asked to surrender them by February 1, 2042.   “There are almost no details that have been publicly released about the tragic deaths of the Rees family, let alone any to suggest that they would have been spared if their se

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Headmistress of Beauxbatons Found Dead!

PARIS--Marguerite Millefeuille, Headmistress of Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, was found dead last night. The exact cause of death at this time is unknown.   Millefeuille, the granddaughter of Luc Millefeuille, a renowned patisserie and notorious muggle poisoner, spent two decades working at Beauxbatons, in capacities as both the Charms professor and the Transfiguration professor before being appointed Headmistress. Two years ago, she accompanied the Beauxbatons delegation to Hogwarts

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Vampire Attack in Wales!

GWAED, WALES--Tragedy has rocked the small wizarding village of Gwaed, Wales. The Rees family, one of the founding families of the village, were discovered murdered in their ancestral home. While The Daily Prophet has not received permission to publish the extent of their injuries, we were able to confirm that the Rees family all suffered extensive vampire bites.    The Rees family has employed part-vampires for over a century as servants in their manor that overlooks Gwaed. Reports di

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Alnaud Picardy Announces The LunaR Program

Alnaud Picardy has stepped forward to announce his plans to found a program called LunaR. LunaR will be privately funded and revolve around research on the true nature of lycanthropy and strategies to improve it. With this program in place, Picardy promises answers that, he says, the Ministry won't provide.   "Our ultimate goal is not to research werewolves themselves. No, we know pretty much all we need to know about them, don't we? Instead, we intend to focus much more on their envir

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Growing Fruitful Futures Advocates for Werewolf Expulsion

Following a broadcast of The Truth, hosted by Trudy Veritas, Growing Fruitful Futures has announced that they will be lobbying the Department of Magical Education to consider expelling all werewolf students named in Veritas’s show.   Insley Jacobin, a consultant with Growing Fruitful Futures who is leading the lobbying effort, was optimistic about the work. “Our primary concern at Growing Fruitful Futures is the safety of all students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Each

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Minister Granger-Weasley Biased Toward Werewolves

In a reading for his new book at Flourish and Blotts today, Michael Jacobin, noted conservative activist, accused Minister Granger-Weasley of harboring dangerous pro-werewolf biases because her granddaughter, Harmony Granger-Weasley, was turned in the attack at Hogwarts.   “If the Minister were being truly honest, she would make reserves illegal,” Jacobin told the crowd that had gathered to hear him read from his book The Cost of Truth. “Obviously the violence at the reserve was inexcu

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Ministry Catches Dangerous Leak!

CG: This is Chad Goldleaf, reporting this morning at the Ministry of Magic, where representatives from the Department of the Regulation of Magical Creatures have reported that an employee in the department has been fired for making a copy of the registry of the names of the students who were turned into werewolves during the November 8 attack on Hogwarts. He’s being escorted out of the building as we broadcast to you right now.   The Ministry is reportedly considering bringing up form

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Chance Carter Found Dead, Mystery Surrounds

On September 2, 2041, Chance Carter, high profile business man and magnanimous benefactor, was reported missing by his wife of 20 years, Bahh Carter. Two months later, on November 11, privately funded search parties discovered his remains a few kilometers outside of Gateshead, Tyne and Wear. His cause of death has not been released.     Chance was born on August 4, 1994 in Ludlow, Shropshire. He graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where he excelled in Slytherin h

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Head of SNARLL Releases Statement

Thaddeus Roseclaw, the head of the SNARLL pen pal program at the Taith Coch Werewolf Reserve, broke his silence today on the November 8 attack at Hogwarts with this statement to media:   “Byron and I are both deeply saddened by the events at Hogwarts. We want to offer our sincere apologies to the families of those students who were affected by the attack.   The individuals in our care have often come to the reserve because of discrimination they have faced in certain aspects

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Chudley Cannons Win Christmas Charity Match

Chudley Cannons fans were celebrating on Friday night after winning their first match of the season -- in a charity Christmas match against Pride of Portree. "Well, 'tis the season," said Pride of Portree Chaser, Megan Martin. "After so many losses, you start to feel sorry for them."   Pride of Portree, who fielded most of their under-17 youth team whilst the majority of their first string team were spotted drinking eggnog and mulled wine in the Leaky Cauldron in London, are not t

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Attack at Hogwarts: The Aftermath & What We Know

In the early evening hours of November 8, reports of an attack at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry began flooding in from hundreds of concerned citizens, with little to no information as to how it all began, or why. While details continue to remain closed off to the general public while the school and the Ministry collects itself, we at the Daily Prophet have carefully analyzed the data we've received from some of our most trusted sources.   The Beginning   Dinner a

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Quidditch Season Record

League table Match information Kenmare Kestrels        850 Appleby Arrows         820 Holyhead Harpies        800 Otley Outsiders        790 Falmouth Falcons        780 Montrose Magpies       630 Ballycastle Bats        610 Tutshill Tornados        500 Pride of Portree            310 Wimbourne Wasps      270

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Veela Group Boycotts Siren’s Kiss Perfume!

The veela rights group, Veelas Against Objectification (VAO) issued a statement today encouraging consumers to boycott the perfume brand Siren’s Kiss.   Amaryliss Bliss, President and CEO of VAO, had this to say when contacted by The Daily Prophet, “Siren’s Kiss Perfume still says on its packaging that it contains veela extract, which is widely understood to be veela hair. The fact that a mainstream brand would claim to contain veela hair, is dehumanizing to those individuals who have

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Roseclaw Dismisses Anonymous Op-Ed

Earlier this month, The Daily Prophet published an anonymous opinion piece by someone who claimed to have worked in a potions processing facility in Diagon Alley. Their identity is known to us, although we are not making it public at this time. Thaddeus Roseclaw, head of SNARLL pen pal program on the Taith Coch Reserve, in a meeting with ministry officials in the Department for the Regulation of Magical Creatures, pushed back on the idea that the reserve was involved in research or traffic

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Chudley Cannon Manager Unfazed By Poor Showing

The Chudley Cannon's manager Ronald Keenan says he is not worried by his team's poor start to the season; the Cannons have lost all of their matches so far and have not managed to score even a single point.   The team's lacklustre start has been impeded by French Seeker Francis Dubois, who seems more interested in catching hearts than the golden snitch. Dubois recently won Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award, and his sparkling teeth and joyous dimples have seen the Cannon's female

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Quidditch Season Record

League Table Match Information: Holyhead Harpies        570 Appleby Arrows         550 Otley Outsiders        540 Kenmare Kestrels        490 Montrose Magpies        480 Ballycastle Bats        450 Tutshill Tornados        330 Falmouth Falcons        310 Pride of Portree                  200 Wimbourne Wasps        

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Otley Outsiders Are Making History

The Deparment for Magical Games and Sports has come under fire and intense criticism recently after it announced the promotion of amateur Quidditch team Otley Outsiders to the national league. The Otley Outsiders are a relatively new team, compromised entirely of part-human players who claim to have faced discrimination when trying out for other professional teams.   "It's only fair," press secretary Lucretia Lightwood, herself a 1/4 Veela, told enamoured reporters at the team's first

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

[Op-Ed] SNARLL Is a Front to Turn Students into Werewolves 

A recent ad that was run in The Daily Prophet was identified as a fake. I know because I'm the one who sent the ad in to the paper.    Even though the ad was fake, the address in it was very real. If you follow it, you will find that it's an address for a potions processing facility. I worked there for the past six months. Every morning I would arrive, going through a back entrance that you can only find if you know the precise sequence to tap on the building.    And every da

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Giants Flatten Toothless Bill

The Part-Giant Community Access Bill is facing an uncertain future, as giant communities begin to push back against what they see as weak, ineffective legislature which fails to address the real problem. The bill was first introduced in September as part of Minister for Magic Hermione Granger-Weasley's suite of proposals aimed at improving part-human engagement with both sides of their heritage. Spokespeople for giant communities say the delayed response is due to the government's failure to rea

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

SNARLL Announces New Leadership Amid Controversy

Clifford Benbow, President of SNARLL and Head of the Lupine Pen Pal Program, was reported missing from the Taith Coch Werewolf Sanctuary last week. According to ministry insiders, the Auror Office is investigating the disappearance. Both the Office of Harry Potter and the Auror Office at large would not provide any comment for this article, citing security concerns.   Byron Handley-Mills, the Head of the Taith Coch Werewolf Reserve, had this to say when he was contacted about Clifford

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Werewolves Missing!

Taith Coch Reserve is denying a report that two werewolves identified as living at the sanctuary are missing. Representatives from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures have gone on the record as claiming that two werewolves: "Rose" and "Danielle" cannot be located on their registration rolls (Please note that The Daily Prophet did not get permission to publish their real names).    "This is exactly what we were warning the community about," the Jacobins sa

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

[Editor's Note] We Pledge to Be More Responsible 

The Daily Prophet recently published an advertisement that came to us postmarked from SNARLL, a werewolf pen pal program that has recently taken off among Hogwarts' student body. As a result, we did not think to contact the Taith Coch Reserve for more details about the pen pal meet.   It has come to our attention that the advertisement that we ran in The Daily Prophet did not originate from the Taith Coch Reserve, or its pen pal program SNARLL. Anyone who has contacted SNARLL for infor

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

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