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[Op-Ed] SNARLL Is a Front to Turn Students into Werewolves 

A recent ad that was run in The Daily Prophet was identified as a fake. I know because I'm the one who sent the ad in to the paper.    Even though the ad was fake, the address in it was very real. If you follow it, you will find that it's an address for a potions processing facility. I worked there for the past six months. Every morning I would arrive, going through a back entrance that you can only find if you know the precise sequence to tap on the building.    And every day, I would work on analyzing samples of hair and nails from werewolves to see if their magical properties could be identified. All of the samples that I received came directly from the Taith Coch Werewolf Reserve, though I was never involved with collecting any of them.    Byron Handley-Mills and Thaddeus Roseclaw (the head of Taith Coch Werewolf Reserve and SNARLL, respectively) are both highly interested in harnessing the power of werewolves as magical creatures, and it is my firm belief that the reason that this address was included is because they wanted to source the information of students--and possibly have them be turned into werewolves so that they could study them too.    I believe very strongly in the power of research, and I think that there's a lot that we have yet to discover about the world around us. But I can no longer stand by and be silent about what I know.    The identity of this op-ed is known to the staff of The Daily Prophet. We have decided to keep their identity secret, but consider their op-ed valuable information for the public to know. 

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Giants Flatten Toothless Bill

The Part-Giant Community Access Bill is facing an uncertain future, as giant communities begin to push back against what they see as weak, ineffective legislature which fails to address the real problem.
 
The bill was first introduced in September as part of Minister for Magic Hermione Granger-Weasley's suite of proposals aimed at improving part-human engagement with both sides of their heritage. Spokespeople for giant communities say the delayed response is due to the government's failure to reach out to giant communities with an explanation of the bill in appropriate language.
 
Now that giant communities are aware of the bill and its contents, part-giant and dedicated activist Kiki Walker claims they are overwhelmingly disappointed.
 
"This bill is trying to improve accessibility and rights for part-giant children who want to connect with giant communities, but most of the time that isn't the real problem and where it is, this bill doesn't have the teeth to help.
 
"The Minister might be well-intentioned, I don't know, but it's plain to see that somebody hasn't done their research. Ask any giant or part-giant who has a stake in this particular issue and they'll tell you the real problem is that when the human parent and giant parent clash, overwhelmingly the law sides with the human and the giant is left with no rights to contribute to decision-making when it comes to their own child. Did this government draft a bill about giants without talking to any actual giants? It sure looks like it."

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

SNARLL Announces New Leadership Amid Controversy

Clifford Benbow, President of SNARLL and Head of the Lupine Pen Pal Program, was reported missing from the Taith Coch Werewolf Sanctuary last week. According to ministry insiders, the Auror Office is investigating the disappearance. Both the Office of Harry Potter and the Auror Office at large would not provide any comment for this article, citing security concerns.   Byron Handley-Mills, the Head of the Taith Coch Werewolf Reserve, had this to say when he was contacted about Clifford Benbow's disappearance. "Clifford was deeply committed to the werewolf community, and I have no idea what could have caused him to leave so abruptly. I've contacted a number of suitable candidates to take his place during the past few days, and I'm happy to say that Thaddeus Roseclaw has been hired as Clifford's replacement."   Thaddeus Roseclaw is well-known in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, having published a book about the potential dangers of wolfsbane. When reached for comment for this article, Roseclaw denied the ideas of the book were dangerous.   "I'm a scholar, and we need to be able to look at wolfsbane critically. We can't let the ministry dictate which subjects are appropriate or inappropriate to study," Roseclaw said. "It's purely academic. And I look forward to being in charge of a program that will encourage the free exchange of ideas between the wizarding community and the werewolves that live on the Taitch Coch Werewolf Reserve." 

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Werewolves Missing!

Taith Coch Reserve is denying a report that two werewolves identified as living at the sanctuary are missing. Representatives from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures have gone on the record as claiming that two werewolves: "Rose" and "Danielle" cannot be located on their registration rolls (Please note that The Daily Prophet did not get permission to publish their real names).    "This is exactly what we were warning the community about," the Jacobins said in a statement. "Minister Granger-Weasley has been too lax with part-human communities, and now werewolves have escaped from an unplottable community. Young witches and wizards have been put in danger because of her complete recklessness and disregard for their safety."   Reached for comment, Byron Handley-Mills, the Head of the Taith Coch Werewolf Reserve had this to say: "The reports that we have anyone missing from our sanctuary are egregious lies. We deal with troubled young people from time to time, but we have never lost track of them. This is a scheme designed by radicals like the Jacobins to draw scrutiny toward our sanctuary when we have always followed the laws and are committed to the well-being of the magical community at large."   Both the Auror Office's Werewolf Capture Unit and the Office of Harry Potter refused to comment on whether there is an ongoing investigation, citing security concerns.    If you see anyone transforming into a werewolf, you are urged to contact the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures immediately. Staffers have been dispatched into Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade to provide the towns extra protection during this time. 

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

[Editor's Note] We Pledge to Be More Responsible 

The Daily Prophet recently published an advertisement that came to us postmarked from SNARLL, a werewolf pen pal program that has recently taken off among Hogwarts' student body. As a result, we did not think to contact the Taith Coch Reserve for more details about the pen pal meet.   It has come to our attention that the advertisement that we ran in The Daily Prophet did not originate from the Taith Coch Reserve, or its pen pal program SNARLL. Anyone who has contacted SNARLL for information on the pen pal meet-up should not reply to any letters that they receive unless they can be sure of their authenticity.    We reached out to The Office of Harry Potter for more information on this matter, but they did not get back to us before publication.   Leonora Lyon, Executive Editor, The Daily Prophet 

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

[Ad] SNARLL Announces First Annual Pen Pal Meet!

The following is a paid advertisement. It is not officially endorsed by The Daily Prophet or its staff. ----   SNARLL announces its first annual Pen Pal Meet! Please send a letter to the address below to receive more information about how you can meet your pen pal! This will be a great way to make a new friend! Reply today!    SNARLL: London Office 1267 Main Street  London, United Kingdom 

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

[Opinion] Werewolf Pen Pal Programs Promote Dangerous Ideas

Young witches and wizards are the future of the magical community. That's why we need to take extra care to make sure that they are able to grow up safely, away from dangerous ideas and in a safe community.   I remember what it was like to grow up during the Second Wizarding War. You could hardly leave your home, and the magical world stood on the brink of extinction.    Since then, our community has rebounded, but it was only able to rebound because we have stayed vigilant to outside threats. That's why at Growing Fruitful Futures, we have continuously pushed for part-human history to be removed from Hogwarts's curriculum, and why now, we are calling on Hogwarts to ban participation in the pen pal program SNARLL.   Clifford Benbow seems to be unaware of the increase in werewolf activity outside of Hogsmeade, which is mere steps from the Hogwarts campus. Werewolf-ism is a dangerous curse, and this pen pal program could convince these impressionable young students that werewolves aren't so different from them. It may even make them feel like it wouldn't be so bad if they were a werewolf themselves.   Our future must be kept safe. That's why we're also calling on Minister Granger-Weasley to introduce a law that would make werewolf sanctuaries illegal. Only then can we be sure that our future is secure.      Insley Jacobin is a consultant for Growing Fruitful Futures. 

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

[Opinion] Calling the Taith Coch Reserve "SNARLL" Indicates Anti-Werewolf Prejudice

Recently, The Daily Prophet covered the Jacobins' most recent campaign. Micheal and Insley Jacobin are a pair of conservative wizard activists who are anti-parthuman, though they will never tell you this directly. Instead, they will claim that their only concern is the welfare of young witches and wizards, who they consider to be at risk of learning dangerous ideas or being attacked by uncontrolled werewolves.   I'm writing today to assure the public that werewolf sanctuaries are not dangerous. In fact, it is much more dangerous for a werewolf to live outside of a sanctuary, where they are at risk of being targeted by suspicious neighbors or falling into poverty after being denied employment one too many times. Places like the Taith Coch Reserve ensure that we can live our lives in peace, away from witches and wizards who harbor dangerous prejudices, like the Jacobins.   Calling the Taith Coch Reserve "SNARLL" is an underhanded way to sow fear among witches and wizards who may be unfamiliar with our programs, and with the reserve at large. It's a term we are trying to reclaim, but calling the reserve this makes us seem dangerous, when really, we are trying to live our lives like anyone else.      Clifford Benbow, President of SNARLL, Taith Coch Reserve 

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

[Ad] Join SNARLL's Werewolf-Wizard Pen Pal Program!

The following is a paid advertisement. It is not officially endorsed by The Daily Prophet or its staff.   --   Werewolf sanctuaries like SNARLL provide safety and security to werewolves across the United Kingdom. Like wizards, werewolves deserve to live in peace.   That’s why we’re encouraging everyone--especially students--to sign up for our pen pal program. When you sign up, you get matched with a werewolf that lives in our sanctuary.   Through this program, you will gain a greater understanding of what it’s like to be a werewolf, but also the importance of diversity across the wizarding world.   To get matched with a pen pal, please send a letter to:   SNARLL 1276 Diagon Alley Way London, United Kingdom

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Jacobins’ New Target: Werewolf Sanctuaries

Earlier this year, conservative activists Michael and Insley Jacobin allegedly attempted to persuade the Ministry’s Department of Education to ban the teaching of part-human history in Hogwarts’ History of Magic curriculum.   Now, Ministry sources indicate that the Jacobins have been meeting with staffers in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures about werewolf sanctuaries.   When reached for comment, Michael Jacobin had this to say:   “Werewolf sanctuaries like SNARLL, for example, are a danger to wizard populations across the United Kingdom. Most of them are completely unplottable. Imagine if Galen Ward had been able to escape to one of these sanctuaries after he murdered his sister in cold blood. He would have been able to kill again. Registration is not good enough. We must demand an immediate end to any and all werewolf sanctuaries.”   The Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures did not respond to our request for a comment on the record about the meetings with the Jacobins.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Column: Picking up the Dirt

In what could become the next big scandal, several sources claim that professional duelist Anthony Cox was challenged to a duel by a goblin -- and lost.
 
Cox was leaving a Manchester tournament, in which he won third place, when the goblin allegedly confronted him in a back alley, challenging him to a duel. According to my sources, Cox raised his wand against the opponent but was disarmed and the goblin fled the scene in possession of the well-known duelist's wand.
 
"The story is rubbish," said Cox himself. "I had a few too many celebratory drinks and lost my wand down a drain."

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

'Mistrust' in Name and Nature

The Berlin opening of 'Mistrust' by young playwright Atanas Ginchev was this week marred by the presence of protesters outside the theatre.   Ginchev's play is directed by Philippa Contos and features an all-veela cast, a fact which has been drawing criticism since it was first advertised.   Angelica Boucher, a half-veela who plays the lead female role, is dismissive of protestors. "It's crazy to say that being able to pursue the job of your dreams is discrimination. It's crazy to say that a form of media displaying veela in a diverse and often positive light is discrimination.    "The people who want to stand outside a theatre and shout have never lived their life as a part-human. They have no idea what they're talking about."   Louis Köhler, an academic based at the Zauberbibliothek zu Berlin, claims there are real reasons to protest. "This isn't equality and it isn't liberation. What we are seeing here is young people who don't yet understand their personal worth being taken advantage of. This play perpetuates the systemic sexualisation of the veela. In our society, and in most of our global community too, veela are placed on a pedestal for their beauty and any other contributions they make are ignored. 'Mistrust' isn't pulling down that pedestal, it's building it up taller."   In spite of reactions like the Berlin protest, 'Mistrust' will continue its tour, including appearances in theatres around the United Kingdom and Ireland. Tickets are still available, but moving fast.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Special Bulletin : Werewolf Advisory

In a special bulletin, WZRD Radio would like to remind listeners that authorities have been responding to reports of werewolf altercations near settlements outside major wizarding centres. The Ministry advises taking precautions as the full moon approaches and staying indoors on the night of the full moon wherever possible.    We take you now back to the news with Isla Kelly.

Wizarding Wireless

Wizarding Wireless

 

Inkin's Inquiries: Purebloods Proliferating?

The history books are clear: many of the so-called ‘pureblood’ families did not survive the last wizarding war, and numbers had been declining well before even then. So, why do so many wizarding families call themselves ‘pureblood’ today? They cannot all be descendents of the old families that survived the war.   Some of the supposedly ‘pureblood’ families have moved here since the war. In other countries where the magical communities do not have a war over blood purity in their recent history, ‘pureblood’ families are more common. Those who have moved here in recent generations are likely to have more magical ancestry than the descendents of the war’s survivors.   But what of the rest? This may account for a slight increase in pureblooded families, but it does not explain why up to a quarter of current Hogwarts students claim ‘pureblood’ heritage.   Wizarding equality activist Ellie Lachance finds the continued use of ‘pureblood’ concerning.”The fact that anyone identifies as pureblood is a clear indication that blood prejudice is alive and well in our society,” explains Lachance. “The distinction between pureblood and half-blood only matters to those who cling to the archaic ideas that purebloods are somehow better than other witches and wizards. The recent increase in pureblood families means that more and more wizarding families are deciding to call themselves pureblooded regardless of ancestry. In doing so, they’re choosing prejudice and hatred.”   What can wizarding society do to prevent another war? Lachance assures that war does not seem to be imminent, but also emphasizes that this trend is a warning sign that should not be ignored. “We need to stop calling ourselves ‘purebloods’ at all. As long as we use the label, we perpetuate the concept. For wizardkind to truly be equal, we must abandon the concept altogether.”   - Iris Inkin   Written By: Viola Wayland Submit articles to Undercliffe!

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Minister Miss the Mark on Equality - A talk with Author Urta Daufari

"Thank you for tuning in to our nightly After-Dinner Chat. I'm Sam Deng and it's Thursday night so we're going to get just a touch political. I'm here today with Urta Daufari, noted author of "The Things We Own", a history of goblin artifacts, and "Not Lying Down", an analysis of goblin rebellion throughout the ages. It's a pleasure to have you here today, Urta."
 
"Thank you, Sam. It's my pleasure to be able to talk about goblin rights on a show that reaches so many listeners."
 
/Laughter/ "I hope our station manager is as pleased with my numbers as you are. Now, for the benefit of the audience Urta is a half-goblin witch and was raised among goblins, so she has a special insight into... I'll say "both worlds". Does that sound right to you, Urta?"
 
"I'm sure other part-humans would argue there's more than just two worlds, but for our purposes that suits."
 
"And to start us off with a bang, what do you think is the biggest problem facing today's goblins?"
 
"That's a big question, Sam, but I think the answer is simple: inaction. We have people in power right now who claim to be concerned with the rights of the downtrodden, but it's evident that their concern is superficial, as nothing is actually being done to allow non-humans to uplift themselves."
 
"Are you talking about--"
 
"Yes, the Minister for Magic. She has talked a big talk, yet we've seen nothing come of it. If Hermione Granger-Weasley is so concerned about our rights, where are the reparations for the families of goblins killed in battles humans have incited? Where are the treasures being returned to the goblins who rightly own them? Where is the basic respect from the wizarding community?"
 
"Do you think the Minister has the power to change such a long-standing community attitude?"
 
"Sam, I think she has the power to try."
 
"Now, I know you'll have opinions on Wizards First Trust."
 
/laughter/ "I certainly do. Before I get into it, though, I want to be clear that I have no problem with competition. Goblins have been bankers for generations, and nobody can compete with a full goblin in terms of natural affinity for money management. I truly believe that WizFirst will fail as a result of not even hiring a goblin consultant, but the real issue with this bank comes back to community attitudes. A non-human or even part-human cannot open an account with WizFirst, and nobody is challenging it. We're back on the topic of inaction now. A lot of people think what WizFirst is doing now is wrong, but nobody is willing to do anything about it."
 
"It's the topic of your new book, isn't it? A focus on historical figures who could have stopped atrocities but didn't."
 
"That's right. "Idle Hands" is all about the evil which comes from inaction."
 
"And this is your first publication which isn't focused on goblins specifically. Tell us about that."
 
"Well, Sam..."   -------------Be sure to tune-in for the conclusion to this interview in Part 2, next Sunday. And now a word from our sponsors...
 

Wizarding Wireless

Wizarding Wireless

 

Ruby Lee's Magical Mysteries: Wandless Magic

Dear Ruby, I heard there's actually no such thing as wandless magic, and when you think you are doing wandless magic it's because an invisible mind-reading imp is floating around and performing spells as you think them. And then that's why it doesn't work so well with powerful spells, because the imps aren't smart enough. Is this true? How do I catch the imp so I can do wandless spells all the time? - Kermit, Kent   Hi Kermit,   I think somebody might be playing a little joke on you. Wandless magic is totally real, probably even more real than invisible mind-reading imps (although I can't rule out the possibility we just haven't discovered those yet -- they sound like they'd be sneaky!).   Instead of wondering about the IQ of an imaginary imp, if you want to do wandless magic you just need two things: knowledge of the right techniques and a whole lot of practice. The best way to master wandless magic so you can do it whenever you like is to spend some time immersed in a culture where wandless magic is common, or even the default option. I spent a year living in Africa in my twenties and not only was it an amazing experience in general, I came away with a vastly superior set of wandless skills compared to what European-derived magic suggests is possible.   But if immersion isn't an option for you, you can pick up the basics from books and develop your skills with intense practice. I can't help but suggest my own second book, Why Wands?, but if you ask a librarian you should receive a shelf-load of other great recommendations.   Good luck! Ruby Lee   Written By: Molly Weasley II  Submit articles to Undercliffe! 

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

One-Hundred Too Many?

Furby Related Crime On the Rise:   It started with one.      Any hufflepuff will tell you that Satan is no joke.  The mechanical, yet enchanted, muggle toy left behind by former Hufflepuff prefect @Rosie Roux has been haunting the badger common room for years thanks to @Professor Gawkrodger.  However, since sorting week and a game of Hangpuff gone wrong held by @Ethan Smith there seems to be a large number of reported sightings of the tiny - possibly evil - knockoffs being spotted around the castle.  Leading to furby fights, deconstructions and all around disruptions of all sorts.  If spotted, these toys should be considered magical and dangerous.  APPROACH WITH CAUTION.  

Seeley Pichardo

Seeley Pichardo

 

Triwizard, Tri-Where?

As details of the full extent of the damages to Beauxbatons by last night’s fire become available, witches and wizards across the continent and here in the UK wonder: what does this mean for us? Beauxbatons Academy of Magic was set to host the Triwizard Tournament this year, where students from the three prominent magical schools engage in friendly competition and international networking.   However, with the French arena charred beyond recognition, will the tradition continue? Rumors of the games’ cancellation have already reached the Prophet.   The inter-school competition was last hosted ten years ago at Durmstrang Institute, after being held locally at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in three successive tournaments. Representatives from the British and Eastern Europe Ministries of Magic decline to comment on whether the tournament will be relocated or canceled out of deference to the traumatizing damage of the attack. Sources say Durmstrang is heavily campaigning to relocate the tournament to Scandinavia. At the time of printing, no official information has been released, but the Prophet will keep readers apprised of any updates.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Beauxbatons en Flambé

Just days before Beauxbatons Academy of Magic was due to welcome back its students, they face a tragic loss. While the palace remains intact, the grounds of Beauxbatons have been devastated by what local officials are calling an act of arson. The alleged perpetrator, a Veela and mother of a former student, is in the custody of French officials.   As the authorities investigate, the French press has already begun to speculate about the Veela’s motive. According to school records obtained by Le Monde Magique, the daughter of the alleged arsonist was expelled from Beauxbatons last term for allegedly using Veela magicks in a final examination.   Could this be the cause of the Veela mother’s fiery rage? Was the student’s expulsion justified or an example of part-human discrimination? Send a Feedback Floo-me with your comments and opinions.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Auror Department to Receive First Budget Increase in Two Decades

Although the wizarding world has seen its fair share of ups and downs over the past twenty-five years, there has been a constant through it all: The Auror Department budget.
  Twenty-five years ago, a string of disappearances rocked the wizarding community, and immense pressure was put on the Auror department by the Minister of Magic to put an end to these crimes and catch the culprits responsible for the kidnappings of distinguished wizards; pressure from the very same Minister of Magic who had announced budget cuts earlier that month.    Harry Potter once commented that he felt as though ‘his hands were tied’ in regards to his ranks being spread so thin. “I wish I had enough Aurors to patrol Hogsmeade and Hogwarts, but it’s just not within the budget,” he'd said.    Well, it looks like his prayers have been answered over two decades later. The Auror department has received a budget increase as announced by the Ministry this month, allowing Potter to hire and train new Aurors, with the purpose of protecting our community more than ever before. This will certainly help as they continue tracking down any of the remaining Death Eaters known to have escaped from the Battle of Hogsmeade and the infiltration of Hogwarts just over two years ago. The group is rumored to have been disbanded, but experts are certain there are stragglers out there biding their time, and Potter's regime will be ready.    There has also been buzz about the Auror Office's revamping of the Werewolf Capture Unit. This unit, tasked with the capture of werewolves deemed to be a threat, has always been handled by the Beast Division (and dreadfully under-funded in the past), however, Beast Division Head, Casseus Cronus, is said to have been approached by Potter weeks ago for his cooperation in bulking the ranks and up-training its current members with Auror specialization. It is unknown whether this is an attempt to calm the thousands of witches and wizards who still owl in about their anger surrounding the catastrophe at Hogwarts with the Ward family, but some believe it is a necessity regardless. Neither Cronus or Potter were able to be reached for comment.   No matter the reason, the Ministry of Magic cannot put the public safety at risk any longer. More patrols have been promised to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and the neighboring villiage, Hogsmeade. Godric’s Hollow and other wizarding villages should also see an increase in undercover patrols. The general budget for the rest of the Magical Law Enforcement departments remain unchanged for now. 

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Illegal Portkey and Attempted Kidnapping, Saved By Auror

Crystal Fountain Park, a typically peaceful and safe place for wizard children to play and socialize, was the scene of a potentially dark crime this week. An illegal portkey with a foreign destination was dropped for the park's children to find. No less than nine young children were soon ripped from safety through the portkey. The two men involved were taken into custody and interrogated by the Auror Department, then later released with fines close to 1000 galleons and orders for community service.   "I caught wind of it and took action as fast as I could," said Auror Richard Fowler, who was first to the scene and made the arrests with ease as the perpetrators seemed to freeze under his icy glare. "I can't stand [people] who mess with kids, they won't get far as long as I'm around. They would still be rotting in there if it were up to me."    Richard Fowler, whose demeanor is as cool as his mustache, has been on the special force for 30+ years, and takes his job very seriously -- as one would expect an Auror to do. We asked his opinions on suggestions that the Auror Office only rushed to the scene when they heard Potter's family was one of the children involved:   "It doesn't matter the name," he responded with irritation. He hadn't heard the reports as they were told through the Wizarding Wireless that day, but he didn't seem pleased as some of the misleading reports were quoted out loud. "Whether you're some Golden Potter or John Muggle, my job is to uphold the law and protect the people and that's what I did. That's what I do. Anyone who says otherwise can [redacted]."   The Daily Prophet is happy to report that this story turned out well and that children of all backgrounds are safe. Our hero came to the rescue, and we can only hope this means good news in the future. Read on for news on the Auror Department's budget increase.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

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