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Sorting Hat

The Sorting Ceremony

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Lucas Kettering

It’s just a school, Lucas thought again. His yearmates exchanged last-minute theories as he entertained, for the first time, the names of the four houses, all as foreign as elements on the periodic table. Hands tensed. Here’s a secret no one cares about: he still could not speak them where that small impulse lurked, what house was she?

 

His lake-drenched clothes dripped along polished marble floors as watercolor, acrylic, and ink figures leapt from frame to frame in blurs. Hogwarts was unlike any building in Hackney, but loiterers remained the same, if not a more permanent fixture. He wearily watched a ghost glide past. The collective unease grew largest outside tall oak doors, beyond which they could hear a murmur less excited than their own. The Great Hall opened. They walked in halting steps, chins tilted to admire overhead. He’d expected excessive crown molding, but the night sky stretched behind a thousand floating candles. Wax suspended midair. A bubble floated across the sky ceiling, then another: translucent marbles spilled over rolling blues. Lucas glanced down. 

 

Water left his skin in wobbly beads, rising ahead and over in a perfect arc. They glimmered like unclouded snow globes, each candle glow made brighter in their centers. His sight followed the simple, wondrous act—called by an older student’s wand and caught in a golden goblet. Suddenly, Lucas wanted to know how to do that, and this, everything around him—magic tricks, an enchanted life, breathy incantations that alluded to secrets or an old language unpracticed on his tongue. Lucas wanted it more than anything for himself.

 

By the time he reached the front, his clothes were only slightly damp. “How’s that for classy?” Lucas muttered to his neighborhood friend, smirking. He stood firmly by his boat companions and watched the Sorting commence, ribcage thinning with ache.

 

“Kettering, Lucas!”

 

A firework burning silver on New Year’s, magnesium and aluminum and gunpowder ignited with a flame. A tin pan set in his stepmum’s oven, carbon dioxide bubbling batter upwards. A battery within his radio, manganese oxide and zinc sparking the electric current. The house did not matter; effort could make anything useful.

 

Lucas nodded once at Jo before approaching the stool. Under the hat’s cover, he waited for a word like home.



You may have a guarded heart, my boy, but I sense that so much potential could soon come of it. You dislike being in the spotlight, but you’re loyal, and will do what it takes to care for your friends and family. It takes quite a bit of strength to willingly step into the role of ‘provider’, and yet you willingly do so. Dear Godric has his eye on that and he’s calling, but… no. Gryffindor isn’t the best place for you. Such a loyal, caring, fair-minded chap like yourself would fare better somewhere else. I can assure you, Mr. Kettering, that there are many who find loyalty and fairness just as important as yourself, and they’ll always be just a few steps away in… HUFFLEPUFF!

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Magda Trickett

Magda trailed lake water and seaweed across the stone floor of the hall. She had never seen anything like this cavernous place, with its vast ceiling of sky and stars and candlelight. The closest approximation was Gringotts, which had always felt more like a tomb—cold, quiet, foreboding. A space like that would never feel full enough. Hogwarts was nothing like the goblin bank, even though the building itself was larger. The school blazed with life, crammed to the brim with light and sounds.

 

She had to keep reminding herself that this was her home now, not Trickett Tower, with its thick carpets of dark green moss and motley of colorful mushrooms and fungi blooming in the turf. The darkness and damp was her natural habitat. She wondered if she’d been careless to remove herself from it.

 

Her sister’s words were still lodged in her mind, humming insidiously now: they’ll be tall and clever and beautiful, and you’ll still just be you.

 

But that wasn’t all. There was also the Hogwarts letter, still tucked into her pocket. You have been accepted, it said. Accepted. When she looked at the people who surrounded her now, she believed it. There was Bitsy, who had appeared like a fairy godmother and opened a hundred impossible doors. Lucas, who had swum to Hogwarts. Brooklyn, who had made an unbreakable vow. 

 

She had a place here. A seat at a table, a bed in a dormitory, a desk in a classroom. She loved the Tricketts but did not know her place among them. Here at Hogwarts, she would always know. She was pretty sure the school staff had it all sorted out, and that it probably involved a complex system of lists and records and labels.

 

Wizards were like that.

 

Case in point, she thought, was the inscrutable system that seemed to govern the order of their sorting. The students seemed to understand, as though by instinct, the rough order in which they would be called—but to Magda, it was like they were speaking another language. She supposed it was just another thing in the very long list of new things she would have to learn, now that she was part of the wizarding world. One by one, her friends went up to sit under the sorting hat’s wide brim. Winston, then Lucas, Bitsy, Brooklyn, Jo… They were all distributed among the long house tables. And then she was alone with the small cluster of remaining students waiting to be sorted.

 

“Trickett, Magda!”

 

Her heart gave a tiny lurch. “That’s me!” she whispered to the other remaining first years. “That’s my name!”

 

One of the girls gave her a blank stare. “Well? Go on, then. What are you waiting for?”

 

She was right. There was nothing to wait for. Her new life had already started (ready or not), and there was no reason to hesitate, or to be afraid. You have been accepted, she reminded herself sternly. You belong. In the back of her head, her mother’s voice rasped a reminder, or perhaps a warning—20 galleons a month—but Magda was too excited to heed the voice. She forgot about her mother, her aunts and uncles, her siblings, Trickett Tower. She had a family here, too.

 

Magda hurried up to the stool, leaving little puddles in her wake. She climbed onto it. Her feet dangled in the air, too short to reach the ground, and she thought she heard scattered giggles. She smiled out at the sea of unfamiliar faces, trying to pick out the few she did know, and focusing on them. Then a professor was placing the hat on her head.

 

All-powerful, most magnificent sorting hat, please, please, please put me in Slytherin, she thought, squeezing her eyes closed. My best friend Bitsy says it’s the best house, and she knows everything! She paused for a moment, then added: Also, if you have any spare change rattling around up there, I’ll take that too.



Oh my! You’re an interesting one, Miss Trickett. It’s not often that I get to sit atop the head of one so small… or ambitiously motivated. However, it’s the uniqueness of your motivation that piques my interest. You’re not simply looking out for number one it seems, but all those who fall within your sphere of protection as well. There’s a fierce streak of loyalty woven subtly into everything you do, though I doubt most will take notice. You are, after all, quite sneaky, shrewd, and self-preserving, both inside and out. I think there’s only one house for you, my dear. May you find plenty of over-stuffed, rich pockets to pilfer in SLYTHERIN!

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Maggie mac Ruaidhri

In the old tales, there was always some sort of challenge put forth for the hero to overcome. If they could succeed in these trials, they would be granted whatever it was they desired. Standing in the Great Hall among her new peers, Maggie mac Ruidhri wondered what it was that she could ask for if she succeeded in this next trial. A nice place to lay down her head and sleep didn't seem like such a bad thing to ask for, but maybe a nice meal would come first. 

 

All she had to do, according to the magical hat, was come up and sit on the stool and let it tell her where she was going to be staying while she was at the school. A large part of her hoped she wouldn't get put in the dungeons--a castle this big surely had a dungeon--but she didn't think she'd really have much say in where she was going. The students ahead of her certainly hadn't said too much, aside from a few words that she couldn't really hear from where she stood in the crowd. 

 

The list of names grew smaller and Maggie found herself trying to fight the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach. She wished her Da was there with her. He'd make her feel better about all of this. He'd remind her of the excitement in the days ahead and all the things they could write home about.

 

"Mac Ruiadhri, Margaret!"

 

She gave a little jolt of surprise. No one ever called her Margaret unless she was in trouble. All eyes were on her as she stepped forward, praying silently for the strength to get through the next few minutes without making a fool of herself.

 

Soon she would know. And soon she could put it behind her.

 

The hat slipped over her head, and she waited for its decision.



Ah, my dear, I’ve only sat atop your head for the shortest of moments, yet already, I can see where you belong. You are ambitious, aiming for success in each of your endeavors, and you have the determination to achieve this! Yes, you can get downright stubborn when it comes to getting what you want, and there’s one house where these lofty aspirations and drive fit in quite well. Yes, combined with your resourceful nature, I think you’ll do best in SLYTHERIN!

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Josephine Tindall

Familiarity and mediocrity weren’t things that Josephine was comforted by but she was content with them, and had accepted them as part of the woven fabric of her life at a young age.

 

Despite a fierce and deep yearning for adventure the notion that it would be something that would be gifted to Jo in her young life was one purely of foolish dreaming and, to anybody that knew Jo, she was a girl of practicality and logic. Dreaming was the stuff of fiction, something you did when your head hit the pillow or was stuck in a book, and would not (and could not) bleed into her reality.

 

Not even the wildest works of fiction could prepare Jo for what was handed to her in a wax-sealed envelope:

 

‘Dear Miss Tindall,’

 

It had started, her green eyes narrowed skeptically at the letter and the woman who had delivered it. Her natural defences kicked in; cynicism, skepticism and all the negative isms needed to protect herself from being played a fool.  It was all very real though, she had learned it that day in Diagon Alley, her cool facade had slipped with that wand in hand. Her wand. She had been momentarily enchanted, mesmerised and giddy at the prospect of opportunity that she had never thought she’d get in her life.  

 

But these things always came at a cost. The universe was funny like that.

 

She had farewelled her family at Kings Cross Station. Her eyes lingered a little too long on Callum’s busted lip and he grinned at her, toothy and wide. “We’ll be fine.” Would they? “Don’t worry about us.” She couldn’t help it.

 

Thankful (not that Jo would ever vocalise this) to have Lucas by her side, she was even more relieved when she spotted Winston and Brooklyn shortly after. The journey to Hogwarts was made tolerable in their company and Magda’s arrival at the boats further proved to Jo that the little witch was amusing to have around.

 

She cast a glance at Lucas as they paused outside the large oak doors, she could hazard a guess what lay beyond them but it didn’t stop the nerves from rising up within her. When the doors finally swung open and they were shuffled forward, she was lost in the wonder of it all, green eyes focusing on the enchanted ceiling.

 

They finally came to a pause at the front, and Jo looked at her friend. Now just a damp mess instead of a soaking mess. “You’re the epitome of class, Kettering,” she replied with a grin that didn’t quite match the apprehension and nerves dancing in her eyes.

 

Winston was the first of their boat companions to step forward and then Lucas. She returned his nod and then went back to her waiting game, cursing how late ‘t’ was in the alphabet.

 

“Tindall, Jospehine!”

 

The crowd of first years had considerably thinned when Jo moved forward, she glanced over her shoulder and searched for Lucas at his new home before she took her seat on the stool. The hat dropped onto her head, falling over her eyes.

 

She drew in a breath and waited.



What am I to do with you, Miss Tindall? You're so full of potential, so full of shifting possibility! More often than not, you're the very image of 'restraint'. It's easy to rustle your feathers, but you keep your annoyance beneath the surface. However, sometimes all of that repressed energy bubbles up to the surface, and then you go looking for an outlet! Something to tussle, something—or someone—to throw around! Gryffindor might be the home that you're looking for. Plenty of rascals to rough up there, but... no... deep in your heart, you value intelligence. A quick wit is what's reliable in a pinch, more so than brawn or guts, though you have plenty of both. Knowledge is dependable. The truth is dependable The real world has no room for fragile feelings and pretty lies. Well, if that's how you really feel, better make it... RAVENCLAW!

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Malenka Grey

Malenka was astonished at how beautiful the Great Hall truly was. She had been waiting for this moment all summer and now, she was here. The sorting hat was but a few feet from her now. She heard her name called out from up front of the crowd. She held her breath, and walked forward into her future.



Miss Grey, I sincerely hope you’re not planning on holding your breath the ENTIRE time you’re seated here. But, in case you are, I’ll try to go quickly! Helga would cherish your work ethic – you believe everything has to be fairly earned. But, more than this, you have a curious mind, and are prone to losing yourself in thought. Not that this is a bad thing all the time, though, Miss Grey! After all, it’s in your thoughts that you seem to thrive, so keep your head in the clouds and soar to RAVENCLAW!

Edited by Malenka Grey

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Anastasia Lum

Ana was grinning from ear to ear as her shoes tapped out the rhythm of her excitement on the stones of Hogwarts entrance hall. She was so close to the professor leading them that if they were to make a sudden stop, she would run the risk of treading on their robes.

 

But robes were the last thing on the young witch's mind. This was the place that she would make a name for herself! She had finally made it. She wouldn't be another nameless shopkeeper, lost to history. She would be Anastasia the Great! Anastasia the Magnificent! Everything about this castle was meant to provide her with the resources and knowledge necessary to achieve success. Her...and the crowd of first years following her. No matter. Once lessons began, she would set herself at the front of the pack in a more figurative sense.

 

Her grin shifted to a look of happy awe at her first view of the great hall. She'd read about it, of course, but it truly was a brilliant bit of magic!

 

She managed to stay put while the first half of the alphabet had their names called, but her fingertips were tapping the handle of her wand in nervous anticipation while she waited.

 

Finally, "Lum, Anastasia" was called, and she practically sprinted to the worn stool where the sorting hat waited.

 

It barely sat on the tips of her slightly protuberant ears, and suddenly the bubble of curiosity she'd had months ago came to the front of her mind.

 

Did the goblins make the sorting hat?



My, Miss Lum, what a delightfully kind person you are! You genuinely do not see a purpose in rudeness, and are always willing to lend a helping hand. This makes me want to sort you right into Hufflepuff. But wait… there’s another layer to you that makes you more than just kind, isn’t there? Yes, you want nothing more than to make something of yourself. You long to be renowned and successful, and this ambitious streak is why I’m sending you straight to SLYTHERIN!

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Daphne Wells

The castle was more amazing than what anyone had described to Daphne before. Which if she thought hard about it, there wasn’t much to live up to really. When she had asked her brother Kieran about it, he would shrug and state “it’s pretty cool” before disappearing. Any answers about Hogwarts towards her mother were pretty short, almost as if speaking about the school pained her or something. It was strange but Daphne tried not to dwell too much on it. Maybe they wanted to make it all a surprise for her? It was certainly one of the best ones. Beyond getting her letter and all.

 

“Oh my goodness!” Daphne whispered loudly, nearly falling over in excitement, when they had learned that it was a TALKING HAT that would be sorting them. Could this day get any better? Why didn’t Kieran tell her this? THIS IS WAS COOL. Daphne truly could not believe that such a wonderful and magical world existed beyond her very imagination. Sure, she had always been aware of it but had never been able to be a part of it like this. Any guilt she had about leaving her family behind in the muggle world was gone in this moment. All she wanted now was to be sorted.

 

Unfortunately, her last name was at the very end of the alphabet. Daphne saw where her fellow year mates were going and wondered how she would fit in amongst them. Some personality types went to one house and some to others. She wondered where she would fit when the hat fell over her head. Was she a Slytherin like Kieran? She scanned his table for him and waved brightly when it got closer to her name, which he returned with a much less enthusiastic wave back. Then finally, FINALLY, it was her turn.

 

“Wells, Daphne.” The brunette walked as fast as her little legs could take her to the stool. She was excited for whatever house she ended up in.



You won’t make this easy for me, will you, Miss Wells? No, I am already conflicted, for I can see you fitting well in two of our houses here. Helga would have adored your selflessness and the value you put on equality and loyalty. Whereas Godric would have cherished how you always try to do whatever is right. You aren’t swayed easily from your morals, and that’s why I think you belong in GRYFFINDOR!

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Todd Darling

Finally. 

 

He'd made it. Todd looked around the Great Hall (aptly named, considering the size) and peered up at the enchanted ceiling with some interest. It looked similar to the one in their library at home, but it looked like this one was actually mimicking the weather outside instead of a permanent celestial window. For starters, this one had weather. Todd watched the clouds warily, wondering if they would actively drip rain as well if it began to pour outside, then decided Hogwarts wouldn't be that stupid. 

 

There were too many new students around him. At least on the train and the boats they'd been decently spaced out in groups. Now they were just an anxious mass waiting for a hat. He thought he'd feel more nervous, but there was a strange calm that had settled over him when they'd started calling out names. This was happening and there was nothing he could do other than wait his turn. 

 

"Darling, Stoddard."

 

"It's Todd," he said reflexively as he stepped up to take his place with the hat, though he wasn't sure if he was telling this to the hat, the professor who was reading off the names, or even the rest of the students assembled. It sounded right in the middle of the Great Hall, just above the voices of the hushed students already seated at their tables. 

 

He sat down. The hat dropped onto his head. 

 

Todd held his breath and waited for something to happen.



Ah! What an interesting mind you have, Mister Darling; and I can see two of our founders warring over it. Salazar of course would love your pure blood and ideals, and also your resourceful, shrewd nature. But being resourceful and shrewd isn’t necessarily left only to the Slytherins. No, combined with your inherent curiosity and methodical mind, I think you will be even better suited to RAVENCLAW!

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Aiden Hunter

On a day that was supposed to be exciting and fun for new students Aiden felt unsure.

 

He wasn’t exactly sure why he felt unsure. I mean when he left on the train this morning he was sure that he was ready to leave but now he wasn’t so sure. His goodbyes with his parents and siblings were sadder than he thought they would be. He thought it would be easy to just walk away from the home that he had lived in all his life. He thought it would be easy to adjust to the idea that Hogwarts was pretty much his home for the next 7 years, but now that the time had come he wasn’t exactly sure how he would adjust. It wasn’t all uncertainty, however, at least he had Gwynn, his pet owl who would be able to keep him company and he had met a few people over the summer that he had actually ended up liking. Hopefully, he would end up in a house with them.

 

For some reason, he also felt anxious. He didn’t think that he cared about what house he ended up in but now that the time was here he felt something creeping up on him. Deep down he wished to himself that he wouldn’t end up in either house that his parents were in, that would just add extra pressure. It was times like this that he was glad that his last name was Hunter. It was early in the alphabet and he could get this over with.

 

Hunter, Aiden

 

He looked up, he was so lost in his thoughts that he had missed most of the sorting up to this point. He wanted to look over at the tables to see where everyone else before him had ended up. Instead, he decided to step forward, he would figure out soon enough anyway.

 

He looked up towards the hat sitting on his head.

 

Mom and Dad told me to talk to you. Well, I guess I don’t really care where I end up. I’d rather not go anywhere with people who are too stilted. I guess I’d rather go somewhere with people who know how to have a good time as well. He chuckled to himself. Guess I kind of do have a preference after all. Well, I’m sure wherever you put me will be the right place but, it would be really nice if you didn’t put me in Hufflepuff or Slytherin, you see my parents were in both of those houses and I’d rather not have those expectations on my shoulders. If you do that’s fine though, I’m sure I’ll adjust.



You scream courageousness, Mister Hunter! You are a young man of action, and when the chips are down, you do not hesitate before leaping into the fray! You're not one to compromise when it comes to your beliefs either. You have a strong moral code, no tolerance for prejudice, and allow your impulsive tendencies to guide your every action. I suppose that rules out Ravenclaw, eh? And while you certainly possess traits that would see you off well in Hufflepuff, I believe I can do better than the house of black and yellow for you. Yes, it better be... GRYFFINDOR!

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Kay Wickham

Kay had cold feet.

 

Literally, not figuratively. There was nothing apprehensive in her walk, in theory—only in practice, as her feet had shed their trappings one by one and were now entirely bare.

 

She clenched her hand around her dirty socks, tucked safe and stained in her pocket. After she'd lost her shoes over the edge of the boat earlier (one by accident and the next on purpose because a pair should never be separated even unto a WATERY GRAVE), she'd climbed the stairs in her socks until they too had fallen in battle. They were dirty and damp by the time she'd reached the castle proper, and despite Kay's love of dirt and dampness—together they made mud, her favourite—she knew that a good first impression meant clean socks, at least.

 

So here she stood outside the Great Hall, the stone beneath her feet just chilly enough to be uncomfortable as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, heels to toes. Her red and gold toenail polish (no bias here) was chipping already, but hopefully it would draw enough attention that people could avoid stepping on them—or perhaps step on them more deliberately if they wanted to throw down for reals? Kay didn't need shoes to take on a new challenger.

 

In fact, shoes were the rich man's armour! She'd do much better butt-kicking without them.

 

--And then the doors to the Great Hall opened and Kay's mind was blown.

 

She'd thought she'd prepared herself for anything. She had grown used to the idea that magic existed and that people who could use it had built a whole secret society around it, and that against all odds she was one of them.

 

Knowing all of the above was a far cry from walking into a room full of witches and wizards and floating candles and enchanted ceilings, however, and she clenched her fists tight at her side as her fight or flight mode was low-key triggered in this unfamiliar environment.

 

Fight, every time.

 

She heard a slapping sound and worried for a moment that it was her feet against the floor, but then she noticed Francis's hands on his cheeks and she barely withheld a laugh that broke the tension in her gut instead. Now that said gut was free of tension, though, it was feeling a bit empty. WHERE THE FOOD AT? She was getting a little hangry, apparently, and all she had were three sad little granola bars in her pocket. Those wouldn't last the ceremony let alone the evening.

 

Still, the hunger couldn't detract from the anticipation. The first of the names were being called now, and kids were put under the hat one by one. Kay fidgeted, itching one foot with the other and letting her eyes wander, looking for any magic she may have missed on the first pass. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Robin gripping his pocketwatch tightly, and his nervous glance up towards the front as the crowd of upperclassmen cheered again.

 

Kay twisted towards him to catch his eye, and grinned. "At least you and Fran’ll find out quick," she said, and sighed as the truth of it hit her a moment afterwards. She pat his shoulder and made a swiping motion with her free hand. “Like ripping off a Band-Aid – whoosh!”

 

“Shhhh!” Someone hushed, and the indignation rising within her nearly lit her START A BRAWL short fuse.

 

Thankfully, Francis got called just in time to interrupt a scene, his giggling a little infectious to Kay as he scrambled his way up. Then he was waving at them—and that was also infectious, because Kay waved wildly back, so now she was just giggling and waving, too.

 

Mere moments later he was sorted, and that was that. That was his table for the next seven years.

 

Then Robin. Another table—seven years.

 

The thought suddenly seemed daunting to Kay. SEVEN YEARS. What if she didn't like her House? What if she got homesick? She'd been watching her father's playthrough of Dream Daddy and now she'd never get to see him find virtual happiness with best dad Craig. Or see him happy at all.

 

Was he happy right now?

 

Kay took a deep breath and reached up to slap her own cheeks, Cissy-style. Her dad would want her to stay focused—eyes on the prize. All she had to do was wait until nearly EVERY OTHER KID HAD GONE, and then she would know her destiny.

 

She unwrapped a granola bar and took a bite for the long-haul, doing some aggressive squats to pass the time.

 

The next half hour was spent casting agonized looks at her friends sitting at the tables, and chewing her way through both the first and second granola bar. Kay felt super-charged, wound tight enough to spring-board jump off the backs of the remaining kids and shove her way to the front at a moment's notice.

 

When the small girl next to her was called—Magda—Kay was practically chomping at the bit, and had just unwrapped the last snack bar to chomp on that instead. Magda, however, turned to her instead of approaching the hat, whispering something about it being her name, as if it were a surprise.

 

Kay stared blankly at her in a half-girl, half-devolved-and-savage-reptile-hind-brain kind of way. “Well? Go on, then. What are you waiting for?” she said with all the intensity of a motivational speaker going on a bender. Thankfully Magda didn't seem to think she was overdoing it, and left for the hat immediately.

 

T-minus everything after T and before W. Almost there.

 

"Wickham, Kay!"

 

When her name was finally called, Kay still had half the granola hanging out of her mouth, and—she imagined—a full, floor-length beard because it had been A HUNDRED YEARS.

 

She charged her way up to the front, skipping the short steps in lieu of a leap that landed her right in front of the stool. She stood there in her bare feet and tore the food from her mouth so that she could introduce herself properly to the hat before they got more intimately acquainted.

 

“Nice to meetcha,” she said. “I'm okay with you going on my head if you're okay with going on my head.”

 

Consent is important.

 

Kay sat on the stool, catching a glimpse of Francis still waving from his table right before the hat brim fell over her eyes. A little odd that it was made so big when kids' heads were usually so small.

 

She discretely reached up and tucked the rest of the granola bar under the brim of the hat, placing it upon her hair.

 

“You can have the rest of my energy bar,” she whispered loudly. “You must be tired after all that sorting. Thinking is hard work, because the brain's a muscle, too.”

 

Not as fun to flex as the other muscles, but it probably still counts for something.



Ahh, Miss Wickham! Why, if I didn’t know any better, I might think I had Godric Gryffindor himself sitting under my brim! Unable to let any injustice slide, your heart leads you to stand up for any and every cause. You wish to be kind by the right standards and stay true to yourself always… yes. You, my girl, make this job easy! And you’ll find yourself standing among many ‘heroic’ people where you’ll soon be going. Ready to make a difference and change the lives of others? Then stand up and march yourself on over to… GRYFFINDOR!

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Xenia Lupu-Haidei

Throughout the entire train ride, Xenia had been all-too focused on the wellbeing of her cats, as well as maintaining their secrecy so that the higher ups at Hogwarts would not be aware of their presence and, somehow, magically evict them from the school. She hadn't even been fully engaged in the conversations Ryszard and Rad had been having (plus she was plenty sure that they had completely forgotten she was even there once she'd shown that she was more preoccupied with her babies than much else). And when the train had stopped, they'd all gone their separate ways. Well, as much as they could have when they would all be herded back together to be sorted.

 

One after the other—plucked off and sorted as their heads would fill with a newfound rivalry due to their entrances into their respective houses. Friends could easily turn on each other as bitter house rivalries threatened to turn friends to foes. As a matter of fact, Xe was actually excited to see these children at each other's throats once their houses were all announced. It would definitely make for high quality entertainment.

 

Stepping onto the boat—an experience which had her rolling her eyes to high heavens; really, the dramatics of it all—Xenia's body pulsed with something new and inexplicable. All throughout the train ride she'd been telling herself that she wasn't at all nervous about this whole process. In fact, she'd been determined to put about an air of apathy about the whole event. But underneath she was all nerves: every cell in her body seemed to stand at attention now, all apparently hyper-aware of the occasion and what was about to become of the vessel in which they stayed alive. The air was very crisp. That was the first thing she's noticed as the boats had been paddled across the Great Lake (and many of her peers had been filled with childish glee).

 

Despite the fact that she hadn't been expecting the grandiosity of the Great Hall of Hogwarts, she still did not gawk. She did not gasp in awe or fake faint at the wonder of the whole thing. She merely shot the vastness of such a space a quick once-over, then continued on with the rest of the soon-to-be first years as they were filed on. Name after name and Xenia's attention was very much elsewhere. She thought of her cats currently hidden in her trunks and meowing to their hearts' content. And of Papa and Anton. She even thought of Horatio and how, in his little baby brain, he'd lost his older sister before he'd even really gotten to know her. Her heart grew heavy with something thick and ugly—something she didn't like, and she snapped herself out of such thoughts. This wasn't the time to be sentimental, of all things, and she knew that.

 

Lupu-Haidei, Xenia!

 

Head snapped and eyes called to attention, Xe stood up and carried herself—back straight—toward the stool. Almost as quickly as she had gotten up she was sat on the stool with the hat being placed upon her head. And for once—for a girl who always had a wise crack or quick retort prepared—she said nothing.



… Oh, sorry, Miss Lupu-Haidei! I did not mean stall and cause you alarm! It’s just been a while since I've had to delve into such a complex and considering mind. I suppose I got myself a little bit turned around! But no matter, no matter; I believe I’ve narrowed my decision down to two houses. Hufflepuff would do you well, if you truly wish to open yourself up to genuine and kind people, but I sense there’s something else you crave. Yes, you want to break your mind free, delve deep into the world, and explore every possibility held within uninhibited by the chains of convention! You value honesty, and are in constant pursuit of the truth! I believe the best house for you is… RAVENCLAW!

Edited by Xenia Lupu-Haidei

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Eli Benoit

If the grounds, the lake, and the great hall had been any less spectacular, they would have been ruined by the fact that Eli already knew what was coming. As it was, he gaped open-mouthed at each new reveal. He’d been waiting for this for as long as he could remember, and it did not disappoint.

 

“Of course it’s enchanted. It says so in…” Eli started and then trailed off. It said so in Hogwarts a History, but it was slowly sinking in that reality was so much better than even his own well-honed imagination. He could stare at that ceiling forever.

 

“Benoit, Eli”

 

Eli jumped, then walked forward for his turn with the sorting hat. He’d be happy anywhere. He was just ready for everything to finally get started.



Ah, yes! I know just where to put you, my boy! Off to… oh, you want me to say something more? Of course you do, with a curious mind such as yours! You value knowledge and intelligence, and have a desire to always find the right answer, whenever you can. Not only that, but you never jump into situations without carefully thinking through your course of action. All of this will serve you well in RAVENCLAW!

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Chester Masterson

Cheeseburger the teddy bear was anxious and Chess was as well. Anything his teddy bear felt, he did too. #twinsies Couldn’t he just have some naptime and wake up with a pet house animal thing? D: 

 

#comicsanslife



Smart, yes… loyal, too… hmm, oh, apologies, Mister Masterson, I was musing to myself about where to sort you. While you certainly have the smarts that Rowena would have admired, I think your loyalty to your friends, strong work ethic, and humbleness make my decision a fairly easy one. I think you’ll find all the friends you need in HUFFLEPUFF!

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Malcolm Mercer III

Skipping up to the stool, Malcolm stood on top of it and extended his arms to the people before him. “YOU GET A HOUSE, AND YOU GET A HOUSE, AND YOU GET A HOUSE! HOUSES FOR EVERYONE!”



Good evening, Mister Mercer, third of his name. I see a lot of internal struggle in your very young mind, a boy without any direction for himself other than the opposite direction of what duty demands. I see the shadow of your family, but also the deeply-buried desire to belong. I think at Hogwarts we have a place for you... with the lions you'll be set apart, but never alone in GRYFFINDOR!

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Jacqueline Frost

"I hope we all get the same house!" Jacqueline sweetly grinned but rolled her eyes the second her friends (and the ones that randomly joined them) were no longer looking at her. She hated them all. Well all but Malcolm... Malcolm... he had a watch that cost more than Lance's annual salaries combined for the past eleven years. 

 

"Fr----"

 

"THAT'S ME! Jacqueline Forst, the daughter of Ecnal Forst; very important businessman." 

 

Come on hat, play along or Jack will steal you and sell you on the black market for a pizza. 



Hmm… you’re a difficult one, Miss Frost. Self-preserving, ambitious, and resourceful, you’d do quite well in Slytherin. However, beneath all those layers I sense someone who genuinely and deeply values hard work. Yes, you’re not one to accept handouts; that would make your accomplishments feel hollow and unearned! And you seem to dislike those who’d use their standing in life as a means to get ahead. You want to feel deserving of your successes, and when the chips are down, you’ll choose responsibility over ambition every time. This is both selfless and humble, qualities that that perfectly reflect the values of a true HUFFLEPUFF!

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Kentaro Akamatsu

 Kent thought putting on a gross old hat and expecting it to read his mind was dumb.



At first glance, I believe Ravenclaw or Slytherin would have been clamoring for you, Mister Akamatsu. Ambition courses through your veins, and you are more than a bit of a bookworm, but I sense you may not be truly happy in either of those houses, even if you seem best-suited to them on the surface. You value loyalty and have a strong work ethic that you use to help you achieve those lofty goals of yours, and I think those traits will serve you even better in HUFFLEPUFF!

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Anja Kim

One would think that a Little League player would have been nimble and agile and all the things that were opposite of the word "clumsy", but Anja lives to be different. As her name was called out, she ignored all the strange kids from pre-Hogwarts she had met and sprinted forward with those way-too-long legs of hers, for a child her age. 

 

She towered over almost all the kids in the room and consequently, face-planted an even longer distance when she tripped over her own two feet. 

 

"I'm cool!" She was not cool. Sitting on the stool, a single stream of blood dripped from her nose. 



Got justice? Well, YOU certainly do, don’t you Miss Kim? Above all, you have a desire for equality in all situations and for each individual. You’re open-minded and willing to give anyone the benefit to the doubt, and you yearn to form connections with others. Well, I think you’ll do just that in your new home of HUFFLEPUFF!

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Harlow Carr

Harlow was daydreaming with her eyes ceiling-ward, enchanted by its magic, and did not hear her name being called.



Such a fiery spirit you have, Miss Carr! No one needs to tell you right from wrong, I see! Perhaps Gyrffindor is the house for you? No, no, forgive me! I was being too hasty! While it’s true that you possess a blinding passion for equality and fairness, you prefer to lead by example, not brute force. You’re not one to fall for boasting or self-congratulatory accolades. Deeds speak for themselves, and your discerning eyes are quite keen when it comes to picking out those who are full of hot air! Loyal, honest, and respectful and encouraging of others, I think I have the perfect house in mind for you! Yes, you’re a perfect fit for HUFFLEPUFF!

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Sorting Hat

Adelina de Beavais
Cunning and judgemental, it’s clear to see that you like to be on the winning side of any conflict. If life were a ladder, you’d be using others as rungs to climb your way to the top. I suppose that rules out Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. elf-important as you are, you’d be a most disagreeable fit in any house that prizes fairness or nobility over survival. No, your strengths lie in your sly wit and resourceful outlook. Yes, I believe I’ve made a decision! All things considered, there was really only one place I could have put you, Miss Beavais, and that’s SLYTHERIN!

Bonnie Beaumont
Hmm... You let your emotions lead you by the nose, Miss Beaumont! Up, down, side-to-side, there's no limit to your emotional range! Sometimes you leap into action; brave but impulsive. At other times, your pride burns with white-hot rage. But in your quieter moments, a rational, deeply caring mind advocates for understanding and diplomacy. Yes, it's between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff for you, my dear! Fair-minded, loyal and kind, you'd make a fine Hufflepuff, but I think your compulsion snap into action makes you a far finer fit for GRYFFINDOR!

Eleanor Perkins
You’re a tricky one, Miss Perkins, perhaps one of the trickiest thus far tonight! I can see two of our houses coveting you, and it seems to me like you would do well in either of them. Gryffindor would love your bold, daring streak, and your fearlessness when faced with confrontation. Yet, Slytherin would adore your determination, and the ambitious mind you have. So, which do we put you in? It’s almost too close to call, but I think you’ll do best in SLYTHERIN!

Ezmeralda de la Renta
Why, aren’t you a tricky one?! It’s quite the imagination you’ve got, Miss de la Renta, and the view of the world it grants you is unlike any other. You’ve a ripe mind too; one that Rowena would undoubtedly foster and help grow. You’re a clever one, yes, but also prideful. You seek out success for yourself and those close to you and will do whatever possible to preserve it… for yourself. It’s a thin line, but ultimately I believe your quick wit and imagination will serve you best in RAVENCLAW!

Holly Edwin
Sugar… spice… and everything nice… these were the ingredients to create… Miss Edwin?! Ahh, no, I’m only kidding, my dear girl! But you are a rather sweet little thing, aren’t you? Very kind… very fair… very loyal… you’re very accepting of others and want nothing more than to be accepted yourself as well. There’s a founder you remind me of quite a bit, actually, and she’s itching to have you join her. I won’t make you wait any longer, my girl, for it's clear where you best belong! Up and off you go to… HUFFLEPUFF!

Pippa Dare
Ah, Miss Dare! What a fitting surname, for someone so daring! There’s more to you than that, though. You also have a chivalrous streak, and you are bolder than most who sit under my brim. You might sometimes be a bit of a showoff... not that that’s a bad thing, if you have the skills to back it up! Yes, I think there’s only one place for you, my dear. Dare to be bold with the other lions in GRYFFINDOR!

Riley Blackwell
Oh, what’s this? You’ve got bravery in spades, that’s for certain. Does that surprise you, Miss Blackwell? No, I suppose not. Like with anyone, you’re not without fear, but you don’t let fear control you. If anything, you strive to live your life courageously so that when you hear the call to action you’re not inhibited by hesitation. You’re a protector at heart: someone who can be relied upon to do the right thing when push comes to shove. You think quickly on your feet, carry with you a strong set of morals, and know in your heart that ‘right’ is putting others before yourself. I know just what to do with you… GRYFFINDOR!

Ryszard Althaus-Valerio
Well now, you certainly don’t refrain when it comes to manipulating others, do you? Indeed, you believe yourself to be the most important person in the room at any given moment, so of course others should bend over backwards to appease you. You’re not one to follow orders or act in the best interest of others, and when you’re not preoccupied with meeting your own goals and expectations, you’re hiding parts of yourself—your “weaknesses”—from the world so that others can’t exploit them. Paired with your cunning, resourcefulness, and ambition, I believe you’ll fit right in with SLYTHERIN!

Virginia Riley
Ahh, what’s this I have under my brim?! Soft hair… loyal… a pinch of chivalry. Why, is that… the late Professor McGonagall I sense?! No, no… you’re far too young, aren’t you? But, I do feel that such a confident girl as yourself would’ve been admired by her. The devotion that shines brightly within you has Hufflepuff calling for you, but there’s more - a boldness that fills your every step with the strength to stand up for the bullied. Occasionally you may find yourself going astray, but the compass in your heart always leads you back to the proper path. You’ll find many temptations in Hogwarts, Miss Riley, but rest assured you’ll find many friends ready and willing to help you do what’s right in… GRYFFINDOR!

 

Vivian Kottenstette
You’re a trifle difficult to pin down, Mister Kottenstette. Ambitious, hard-working, investigative, and resourceful, you’d make a fine addition to any of the Hogwarts houses. However I sense your affinity is perhaps strongest with Hufflepuff and Slytherin. The single-minded way you achieve your objectives is pulling at one founder in particular. I'm sure your mother will forgive me when i send you to... SLYTHERIN!

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