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Seeley Pichardo

Somewhere between darkness and light, in the grey where we live between wrong and right

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Seeley Pichardo

Beginning of May, Saturday

 

 

 

The quidditch game had finally ended and with only a couple of weeks left before they would all be going home for the summer, Seeley had finally decided it was time to commit to the decision she had already made in her head.  Of course, there were a few people she needed to clue in to the matter to make it official and after checking the common room and the great hall and even the dueling chamber because she’d seen Kit there once or twice she was left with very few options of where to seek out the older boy.  

 

The sky was growing grey overhead as she stepped out onto the lawn to make her way towards the quidditch pitch and the blonde rubbed her hands over her bare arms, wishing she had thought to grab a jacket or wear longer sleeves.  She had her jersey in hand as she walked down the well worn path and felt a knot of guilt twist in her stomach tighter with each step that brought her closer to the pitch.  She didn’t even know if Kit would be there, but still she felt sick.  She wasn’t one to give up on anything and this felt exactly like what she was doing but at the same time she felt like things would only get worse if she stayed.  

 

A cold wet raindrop crashed against her cheek as she passed through the break between the rising stands and stepped onto the pitch.  Auburn eyes lifted up and scanned the skies first to see if her soon-to-be former captain was in the air but all she saw was just the thickening rain clouds and the empty hoops.  Walking further onto the field she made her way towards the broom shed near the edge of the pitch and noticed the open door.  Someone was here.  

 

Catching sight of a flash of yellow, the trim that looked an awful lot like that of a hufflepuff t-shirt peeking out from what she could see behind the open door, Seeley started to jog towards the shed and the pair of legs that were just barely noticeable from behind it.  

 

“Kit, is that you?” She called out.  “I needed to talk to you about something!”  

 

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Desmond Potter

When the game ended, Desmond stayed back a little longer than the other teammates, only because he was reflecting on this year. He didn’t know what to expect this year when it came to quidditch. The first this was he didn’t think that his crush/friend, would have joined the team. He was pretty sure she only did that so Desmond wasn’t better at her than something. But Desmond knew that he was still going to be better at the sport.

 

When he finally decided to walk back to the locker room and take a shower. He needed to get change, being a beater was a lot work, and he was shocked that his captains believed that he was able to handle it, but he felt like he did well.

 

While inside the locker room, he was taking his sweet time in the shower, and just thinking about everything this year. Not only quidditch just everything, knowing that his third year at Hogwarts was going to be over soon. Something that he couldn’t believe. He didn’t know how he made it through a whole nother year.

 

By the time he got out, and got changed. He remembered that he forgotten something when he was putting away his beater bat in the shield. He hoped that he would be able to open the door. Placing on some gym shorts and a hufflepuff t-shirt, he walked back to the pitch, noticing that it got dark while he was in the shower. Having a feeling that it was going to rain soon, and he should get back inside, but he needed to get his lucky snitch.

 

He was always forgetting that when the games were over, he needed to remember that he had it and not leave it somewhere.

 

While looking for it, he was able to hear Seeley’s voice, what was she doing here? She left hours again when the team left.

 

Desmond was debating if he should turn around and saw that it was him, or just stay quiet and pretend that he didn’t hear her. Would it be for the best if he didn’t answer her. He was about to find out. He didn’t turn around, he didn’t say a word, all he kept doing was looking for his snitch. He knew that it had to be in here somewhere.

 

How could he just lose it again.

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Seeley Pichardo

Who else would be hanging around on the pitch this long after the game, besides one of the captains?  It didn't really occur to her that anyone else would still be lurking around on the pitch this late.  

 

But when no answer came to her, Seeley wondered if she had actually spoke her question out-loud or if her nerves had made her only think that she had.  She cleared her throat and felt another few raindrops hit her arms as she walked closer to the shed.  "I know you probably didn't expect this... or well maybe you did because I know that Damien pretty much hates me and I'm not really all that close with, well anyone really but I..." She felt isolated really, especially with Desmond being on the team when once upon a time they had been so close.  She had finally reached a space very near to the shed now with her slow steps and if she'd been paying close enough attention probably  would have realized that the pair of legs partly sticking out into view didn't look a thing like her captain's but she was far too caught up in her own confession now to really be focused on details.  

 

Pulling in a deep breath she wrung her hands around the jersey she held in them and exhaled before she continued.  "...I made it through the last game well enough but I really think it's best if I just quit the team." Seeley rambled off quickly and reached out for the door, yanking it open fully to finally catch a glimpse of the person she knew would be staring back at her with disappointment as she held the jersey out in front of her.  

 

 

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Desmond Potter

With him knowing that Seeley was behind him, he didn’t want to turn around and face her. For one, he was sure she wasn’t looking for him at all, and second he didn’t know how to talk to her. After they way this year has gone, he just stopped talking to her. Unless he had to talk to her, Desmond knows he has messed up a lot this year, he lost one of his best friends, but he didn’t tell anyone that. Not even the other person he thought he was close with.

 

He just kept looking for his snitch, which he found about five seconds after Seeley said something, but he knew that if he was to turn around, then she would know it was him and he wanted her to leave. He couldn’t face her.

 

Hearing her talk, he knew what it was. She was going to just quit the team, Desmond didn’t know what to think about that. She was saying that Damien hated her. That was his fault, he told Damien that he didn’t want to be around her and they needed to do something to have her quit the team. But it wasn’t something he really wanted. Then she said that she wasn’t closed to anyone at all. Not even him, because he screwed up everything with them.

 

When the words quit came out, that was when he turned around. “You made me go though all that pain of seeing you more than I could handle. And now you are just going to quit.”

 

He wasn’t happy now, not at all. She didn’t know what he was dealing with. Seeing her all the time, not talking to her, not wanting to just hug her. NOTHING…. He couldn’t do anything.

 

Walking out of the closet that he was in, he walked right by her. “Go find Kit or Merc, I am no captain here.”

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Seeley Pichardo

Only, it wasn't exactly disappointment she saw staring back at her or the face of her now-former captain either.  Her eyes went wide when she realized who she'd been talking to and her jaw dropped.  Releasing the door the blonde stepped backwards a few paces and bit her lip as Desmond's face came into view, flush with anger and a mix of something else that she couldn't quite place.   

 

She had known that he would have found out about her departure from the team inevitably, but she hadn't wanted to be the one to tell him and she didn't doubt for a second that he didn't grasp what she hadn't said in her reasoning for why.  They hadn't been close now for a while and the reasons behind it shouldn't have been a surprise to him.  The messy street between them was paved both ways with confusion but regardless, she was still dumbstruck for just a second when he pushed passed her and dropped his bitter confession along the way. 

 

Pain?  Surely she didn't know what he was talking about because she was the one who felt like an outcast for the whole year. 

 

"Pain?" She spun around and questioned, "What pain?" voice rising louder as her own mixed emotions started to bubble.  Maybe this had all been a long time coming and perhaps on the edge of the quidditch pitch with threatening rain wasn't the best place for it to finally erupt but there didn't seem to be a way to stop now that the switch had been flipped.  "It's not like I ever flung any bludgers at you." 

 

She, on the other hand had had all assortment of objects chucked in her direction.  *eyes Damien*

 

"You had the whole team on your side, so I really don't know what you're talking about." she yelled after him and hoped the sheer frustration in her voice would be enough to force him to turn back around because she'd already walked all the way out here and really didn't feel like chasing him down.  

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Desmond Potter

He was mad, and he didn’t want to talk to anyone, and not the girl that was standing behind him now, yelling at him. About something, about throwing bludgers at her. He stopped where he was, and heard the thunder. “When did I hit you with a bludger. NEVER.” Desmond wasn’t one to yell all the time, but he was upset and angry at the same time. Something he didn’t want to happen.

 

And he had to have this blow up with Seeley now, and it was starting to rain. Great, this isn’t what he wanted to have happen at all. But what could he do, nothing. It was going to happen. And now was the only time it was going to happen, and now would be better than never.

 

Because if this didn’t happen now, then nothing was going to happen.

 

Walking back to where Seeley was. “You want to know my pain, the pain I have felt all year. Seeing you all the time, in the common room, the classrooms, the quidditch pitch, the dueling chamber. All that. I have been there seeing you and there is NOTHING that I can do. Nothing, because you only wanted to be friends.”

 

Taking a deep breath, he looked down. “I have tried to move on, I have lost a best friend. WHY…  because of you.”

 

This had nothing to do with the team now at all, “Just because I knew them already, didn’t mean anything. Damien knew the pain that you caused me, and he was being a bro. But he never hurt you did he, you want to know why…. Because of me. I told him not to.”

 

That is what he thought that he did. He couldn’t remember everything. “But my pain, is seeing you all the time, and not being able to kiss you, hug you, hold your hand…. Any of that….” He walked closer to her again, this time he was pretty sure that he was inside her bubble.

 

The rain was starting to fall now, it was coming down hard. But Desmond didn’t care at all, he was finally getting everything out that he needed to get out.

Edited by Desmond Potter
missing words

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Seeley Pichardo

Thankfully, or maybe not so thankfully, her attack seemed to spark return fire from the taller boy and he too spun back around to face her.  Angry words shouted over the sound of rolling thunder and the storm seemed to mirror the friction in the air as he backtracked towards her demanding examples of what he had done and to be fair he really hadn't done anything.  

 

Just the sheer challenge of being around him so much was enough of an obstacle to make life difficult.   

 

Then he had to go and say the exact thought she'd been thinking.  Friends.  

 

They weren't exactly doing a very good job of that now were they?  Avoiding each other, not talking at all and messing up each other's friendships.  She felt her own heart ache when he brought up what had happened with Wyatt.  Anything with Damien didn't really matter because with her quitting the team he was simply someone in her past and she would probably never pay him much attention again, but she couldn't let the Wyatt thing pass without comment.   

 

"I didn't mean for that to happen." She interrupted.  "But, you started dating Selena.  Of all people Des!" She felt a few tears slip from her eyes, though with the raindrops hitting her cheeks it was hard to tell where the two ended or began.  "She's my best friend, or was... I don't even know anymore so it isn't like I haven't lost anything too."  She felt bumps rising up on her arms and lifted her hand to wipe at her cheeks but the effort was useless.  

 

"Wyatt was there for me and he..." She stopped to catch her breath and find her words.  "It's not my fault if he decided he didn't like what you did." 

 

Her heart was already beating fast with the adrenaline from the argument itself but when he moved even closer she felt frozen in place as well.  In the last few months any time they'd been around each other had mostly been spent on brooms and she hadn't really realized that he'd grown so much taller.  As angry as she felt, she couldn't shout now and her next words slipped out softly, so softly she wasn't even sure she'd said them.  

 

"For what it's worth... I never really wanted to be just friends." 

Edited by Seeley Pichardo

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Desmond Potter

Friends

 

That word always hurt him when it came to him and Seeley, because were they friends. They said that they would be, and forget everything but he couldn’t forget anything that happened to them. She was his first kiss, the first girl that he liked, and the first girl that he cared about. Beside his family, but that doesn’t count at this moment.

 

He did start dating Selena, heck he was still dating her. But he didn’t want to think about her at this moment. This was his moment, to finally tell Seeley what he was feeling, and what he wanted. But how could he.

 

There was a crack of lighting in the back of the pitch, away from them and then more lighting and rain was starting to fall a lot harder. “I didn’t want to date her, I dated her to get over you. I just couldn’t…” He took a deep breath. “I wanted to be there for you, I wanted to be the one that talked to you after you lost your first duel, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t walk up to you and say anything.” Nothing, he was a coward, things could have been different.

 

Thinking about losing his best friend, it was hard to know that it happened. Because he dated someone that he liked, someone that he didn’t know that he liked. Because if Desmond knew that, he wouldn’t have dated her at all. Not at all. But Wyatt knew his feelings for Seeley.

 

“It’s not….” He agreed with her, that it wasn’t her fault, “I messed up… and I don’t want to mess up again.”

 

This time he was right there, looking down at her, he noticed the quidditch uniform. And head the eight words that she said.

 

I never really wanted to be just friends

 

“I never wanted to be just friends also.” He said as he placed his hand around the back of her neck and leaned down and just kissed her, there was nothing stopping him. Not the rain, nothing.

 

This was just perfect. He could feel the sparks once again, something he missed. The same sparks that were there when they first kissed. Just over the summer. How he missed this.

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Seeley Pichardo

It didn't make sense.  None of this seemed to make any sense.  Dating someone you didn't even like just because?  But then again, that was kind of what Juan had said and what she had tried when she had met up with Wyatt in the astronomy tower but that was different somehow wasn't it?  It wasn't that she didn't like Wyatt, it was just that she didn't like him quite the same. 

 

Nope, this all made no sense. 

 

But, at least Desmond had gotten one thing right.  He had messed up, though the same could be said about her as well (you just wouldn't catch Seeley ever admitting it).  

 

She expected him to be even more angry then, and to ask her why she would have even shoved them down this road in the first place.  So when he echoed her sentiments and leaned down to kiss her she didn't know exactly what to do. 

 

Emotions, feelings twisted inside her from anger, to hope and straight into confusion again.  

 

As as much as she wanted to forget what was true, she suddenly felt a wave of guilt swirl through her stomach and the blonde stepped backwards and reached up to push Desmond away.  

 

"Wait, wait..." she sighed, frowning and shaking her head.  This hurt more then getting hit by any bludger could.  "Selena." She said.  

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Desmond Potter

The moment that his lips touched her, the world was just gone. There was no rain, there was nothing about anything else happening in the world around them. It was just him and Seeley. While he was only fourteen he knew that things were just right, at this moment. Until she pulled away and brought up the name, Selena.

 

He looked at her and then back on the ground. He knew what he had to do, he was going to have to break up with Selena, it wasn’t like he wanted to date her in the first place. Desmond felt bad for using her to try and get over Seeley, when it didn’t work at all. He knew that he wouldn’t work, he didn’t know why he even tried at all.

 

Looking back up at Seeley. “Don’t worry about her, I am going to break up with her.” He at least hoped that Selena would understand. Desmond didn’t understand girls at all, and he was sure that he was never going to understand them at all, but he knew one thing that he had to do.

 

His heart was racing, and he was about to turn away and just leave. But he couldn’t just do that. He leaned in and kiss her again. “I want to do more of that.” He told her and then walked off and went to find Selena, he was going to have to break up with her now. There was no if ands or buts about it.

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