Chuck Berger

I’m starting with the man in the mirror, I’m asking him to change his ways

8 posts in this topic

For the first time in his life, Chuck had taken to sitting silently since he came back to Hogwarts. It had only been a few days but strangely enough, it seemed as if his closest friends didn’t notice. In their defense, the second year Gryffindor had spent most of last term isolated in “detention” aka mandatory studying sessions to get his grades up. So maybe they had grown used to his silence. 

 

Whatever. Chuck didn’t let that bother him. He had more important things on his mind. 

 

Like the hair that was growing all over his face and body. 

 

Fortunately Chuck knew he wasn’t turning into a werewolf. They covered this in his muggle school and addressed it enough in all of his favorite cartoons growing up. It looked like he was beating all of his friends to puberty, even Ham. If there was something Chuck loved, it was winning and that competitive drive only grew stronger in his recent months. But somehow, his friends hadn’t commented on it. So deciding to grab their attention, he took to stroking his prized dark fuzz above his lip and the sparse single hairs growing sporadically on his lip.

 

“Brigit,” he spoke up, asking Brigit to pay attention to him as he stroked his upper lip, “gimme the potatoes."

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While the rest of her classmates began to spiral into the initial stages of puberty, Brigit was left behind unbeknownst to her. Aside from a lousy inch or two, she remained practically the same. There was no period for her yet and she was still rather lanky, a toothpick to a certain degree. She hadn't even noticed that these changes were occurring, but she did notice Chuck kept playing with his upper lip which was strange enough. 

 

"Oh," She paused, looking at her own plate as she scooped more potatoes onto her plate and very few reamined in the large community dish. "I ate them all," She bit her lip, glancing towards Chuck to notice him - yet again - scratching underneath his nose. "What's wrong with you?" She questioned, unsure of what exactly he was doing. 

 

Brigit squinted her eyes towards him, thinking maybe he had food stuck to it but that wasn't the case. "Do you have a scab or something?" She pointed towards his face. Even for her, this was unusual behavior as she shoved another bite of chicken into her mouth. Brigit chewed furiously, awaiting an answer. "You'll look weird if you keep picking at it."

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Chuck didn’t know what was more disappointing with Brig’s attention on him. Did she really eat all the potatoes? He had tried to crane his neck to get a better look and was upset that there were next to none left in the platter. He opened his mouth to demand she share the ones on her plate but she caught his attention, negatively, with her questions. Wrong with him? There was nothing wrong with him. Well, no, his crappy friend was what was wrong with him.

 

His scowl deepened. Brigit still couldn’t notice the obvious and drastic metamorphosis that was happening on his face? How did Chuck get stuck with such an oblivious best friend? He was so upset that he smacked her pointed finger away from his lip. “There’s no scab, you idiot!” 

 

Worried that maybe his change wasn’t as obvious that he thought it was, Chuck angrily stabbed one of Brigit’s potatoes with his fork. “You blind or something? Take a better look!” He used the fork/potato combo to point to his changes on his chin and lip. “I’m more manly than ever."

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"Well, so-o-o-rry," Brigit rolled her eyes, swallowing her bite. She was ready to leave it at that - allow Chuck to remain manly and mysterious so she could return to her potatoes but there was two drawbacks. "Hey! Those are mine!" She was only a few bites away from feeling stuffed, but they were still her taters. She tried to protect her stash with her fork but to no avail. 

 

"How can I do anything when you're taking all of my nutrients from me?" She sighed, wanting this to be ready with as she looked at Chuck again. This time, she got up from her seat, taking his head between her hands and stared at his mouth. There was... something, but Brigit didn't understand exactly what they were.

 

She gasped, letting go of his head and plopped back onto her seat. "Booger, is that a hickey?!" Brigit had no idea what a hickey was, only that many older students had talked about them before. Oliver would sometimes come home with one, according to her father who would wink and nudge.

 

Their mother, however, wasn't too pleased. "You cheeky little turd," She shook her head. How were her friends growing up so fast?

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“That’s better.” Chuck nodded, pleased that Brigit was starting to realize she was doing something wrong. The nod grew a smirk when his friend protested and he happily took a big bite of the potato. As punishment for being a bad friend. With a full mouth, Chuck retorted “Too bad, Piggy.” 

 

Chuck was a good friend. 

 

“You don’t need that much nutrients, Short Stuff. I’m saving you from being a chunker.” 

 

Chuck was a really good friend and even better at grammar. He was a hero, really, so he helped himself to another one of Brigit’s potatoes. Nearly stuffing a potato the size of a fist into his mouth, Brigit’s next brilliant deduction nearly killed him as it caused him to choke. His face turning a violent shade of red due to lack of air and embarrassment at the thought, it took him a few seconds to catch his breath after he coughed most of the potato into Brigit’s napkin.

 

“What!?” He was definitely a cheeky little turd but it was not a hickey. “No. Have you ever seen a hickey before? It’s like a… big pimple that turns angry and red and then purple.” Chuck had never seen one either but he wouldn’t admit that. Exasperated, he corrected her “No. It’s my beard. It’s finally growin’ in like a real man’s beard."

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'Chunker'? 'Piggy'? In a few years, those terms and wise advice would hurt Brigit's feelings but luckily she was still in the land of blissful ignorance that one day her metabolism and self-image would deteriorate. "So? I'm hungry." She was actually quite full and Brigit simply didn't like when people would take things from her. But what was she supposed to do? After a brief glare, she crossed her arms as he continued to chow down on her food.

 

Until he spat it out. "What a waste!" She flicked the now slobbery and dirty napkin towards Chuck's direction. "Gross," She rubbed her hands, probably covered in Chuck's drool, onto her robes in an attempt to clean them. Probably the closest thing she'd ever done to washing her hands.

 

"Uh, no..." Chuck should have known that Brigit had never seen one. Why else would she be guessing? "Ew, is it really?" She made a face of utter disgust, "Why do older students like getting them then?"

 

A beard? "Oh. Um." She had definitely seen a beard before and what Chuck had was definitely not. "Are you sure?" She asked tentatively but she did see a few prickly follicles now that he pointed it out. "Don't beards usually cover your whole face?"

 

 

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Chuck could only shake his head sadly and in exasperation at his dear friend Brigit. Everyone knew the worst thing a girl could do was eat a lot. He didn’t exactly understand why because he valued anyone who could challenge him to a good food eating contest but there had to be a reason all of his older friends made fun of fat girls. “Whatever. I’m just trying to help you.”

 

He was a real philanthropist. 

 

Chuck was too busy trying to breathe to care about what Brigit was saying or the fact that she threw the napkin back at him. It hurt to breathe and his face was dangerously red. 

 

“Of course it is and I dunno,” Chuck shrugged. He really didn’t understand the appeal of a hickey either. “Older people get weird, mate. It won’t happen to us though.” Chuck could never imagine wanting a hickey from his friend Brigit. Especially not if she was gonna get fat, at least not if he were to believe his friends. And it didn’t help that her idea of hygiene was wiping her hands on his clothes. 

 

“It’s right there!” Chuck’s face started to get red from anger. He took Brigit’s hand and brushed her fingers against his straggly hairs. “Can’t you feel it? And all beards have to start somewhere…”

 

Explaining things to Brigit could be so hard sometimes. So trying to put it in a way she’d understand, Chuck exclaimed “Like your boobs! One day, they’l start growing and growing until you can’t see your feet no more."

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Thinking about it, Brigit wasn't sure she'd ever seen any magical person who was on the heavier side. Certainly not since she arrived at Hogwarts but maybe there was a reason for that. She frowned for an instant, pinching her arm that barely had any remaining baby fat on it and nodded in agreement. "True, you're right." Maybe that was why all of the Hogwarts students were thin as models and celebrities and Brigit pushed her plates away from her once and for all.


Chuck's lack of airflow didn't seem to catch up with Brigit. There was a high chance that even if Chuck had croaked from choking, she wouldn't have realized until after the fact. 


"Super weird," Brigit agreed, eyeing some of the older students at her table. Some were already holding hands and Brigit shuddered. "I really hope not, look at those buffoons," She pointed with her head toward the canoodling couple but her attention quickly was brought back to Chuck's emerging facial hair.

 

She squinted again, still unable to see but could feel an weensy prickly feeling against her fingertips. "Ew," She jerked her hand away but then forced a smile at Chuck again. "Yeah, it'll probably be fully grown in two weeks."

 

But then he pointed out her boobs. Or rather, lack thereof. Brigit stared down at her robes then back up at Chuck confused. "They'll get that big?" Her eyes widened. Molly had already gotten her period and now Brigit was going to get... developed. "Oh no, I don't want those," She shook her head almost in disbelief. "When do you reckon they'll come in?" Maybe she had time to stop it.

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