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Desmond Tonks

Sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side.

8 posts in this topic

For once in his life, Desmond didn’t think – he felt.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to join us? Tryouts are not that far away and you could still use the practice.” Mercutio, Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain, cajoled his boyfriend as they lingered at the entrance of the library. They stood close enough to suggest that they were more than friends, but far away enough to avoid being shooed away for public indecency.

 

“Merc,” Desmond started, clearly exasperated. Even so, he catered to Mercutio’s whims. “I spent three hours waving that stick around yesterday. I think I deserve a break.” He really really did. Honestly? His muscles ached from overexertion. Surely he deserved a reprieve with the books just this once?

 

“But…” Mercutio started again, before he was swiftly silenced by a pair of lips. Ever since Desmond discovered that this was an effective way to shut his chatterbox up, he had been employing the tactic rather liberally. They parted within seconds and Desmond had to resist smirking at the sight of glazed eyes. “Next time, alright? Now go – Kermit’s probably waiting.”

 

Following that, Mercutio finally left, swaggering in a way Desmond should find annoying but didn’t. Turning to face the rest of the library, Desmond hoped no one they knew actually saw what happened. He wasn’t ashamed of Mercutio. No, of course not. But being tagged as twitterpated would be mortifying.

 

The next table Desmond spotted was already occupied. But he took a double take when he realized the figure at the table was someone he knew – Eloise Beauchamp. “Oh, hello Eloise.” He slid into the seat without invitation. They had shared many tables before. “How was your summer? And what are you reading this time?”

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Romance was a realm that Eloise was still struggling to understand the allure of. The blonde had been thrust into the world of romance by Tobias’ rather abrupt determination to take her on a date (she’d said no, multiple times now), and she wasn’t sure she liked it one bit. Eloise was a person who struggled to even admit when someone was her friend (the term she used was ally)… why on earth would she want to ever describe someone as a boyfriend?

It was getting harder to ignore Tobias, though, and part of her was curious. Not just the hormonal part of her, either, or so she liked to tell herself. (Hormones couldn’t have any power over her, she wouldn’t allow it!) What was the draw of it? Was kissing really so good? She made a face as she thought of it, Tobias’ freckled face annoyingly appearing in her mind. Ugh, no. Eloise shoved it away, determined not to give in to her baser impulses that told her she actually wanted to go on a date with Tobias.

It was only curiosity that made her consider it. Science. Experimentation. Simply a way to gather knowledge, but one that certainly wouldn’t be worth it.

Shoving the thought from her mind, Eloise turned back to her history of magic research, a gigantic tome on goblin rebellions that was likely entirely necessary to read, but one that interested her. She was not that far into it when she heard a pair of voices from the direction of the entrance. Desmond, and one of the other dueling mentors… Mercutio. They were friends, she remembered… oh. More than friends, if anything was to be guessed by the sudden kiss they shared.

Eloise immediately felt disconcerted. She and Desmond had a lot in common. One of the things they had in common was the fact that they were independent; and didn’t feel a need for as many ties to other people as most the other sheep-like individuals within the walls of Hogwarts. Seeing him in a romantic relationship caught her off guard… and also made her curious, especially in light of the developments between herself and Tobias.

She quirked a brow at his casual approach, itching to ask him about whatever that had been, but refraining for the moment. “My summer was fine. The usual… and…” she lifted up the book so Desmond could see its title The Complete History of Goblin Rebellions, 1500 – Present. “Goblins are very discontent beings, it would seem,” Eloise observed dryly. “How about you? Good summer?” She turned the question on him, wondering if he would willingly explain what his not-so-private tryst with Mercutio meant, or whether she’d have to pry it out of him.

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Honestly? Desmond himself was still trying to grasp the fact that he was now attached. And to someone he once considered a menace, no less. (Actually, that hadn’t changed. Mercutio was simply more than that now.) Since they made things official, the fifth year hadn’t truly take the time out to consider what this relationship meant for him, Mercutio or Navi. Or anyone else, for that matter. And every time he tried to, something else would capture his attention. Say an experiment…or even a cuddle. In the end, the matter wasn’t of true import to him… not when he was content for the first time in a long while.

 

“Goblins huh? I’m not surprised. They didn’t seem very… personable whenever I checked Gringotts out…. not that I’m in any place to judge, in hindsight.” Desmond shrugged and made a mental note to look into the subject of goblins and whatnot later. It was an area of wizarding history that he had yet to put much effort into investigating. He vaguely wondered if he and Eloise would get along with goblins more easily than their fellow wizards and witches.

 

Desmond fetched his own thick and incredibly intimidating tome from his bag, answering Eloise’s query in a distracted manner as did so. “My summer was… eventful.” He flipped to page 139, where he last stopped. “It went by rather quickly.” For once, that is. There was the trip to Barcelona, the camping trip with the Bates, visits to Navi’s bakery and more. He barely remembered fidgeting because of a lack of access to magic, a commonplace occurrence since his first summer after attending Hogwarts.

 

“Have you decided which electives you’re going to ta- oh shoot. My notebook.” Clucking his tongue, Desmond dug through his bag, pausing when he found a cauldron cake packet instead of his book. On it, was a piece of paper with Mercutio’s distinctive, messy scrawl - Remember to eat! Desmond sighed, unable to resist from smiling as he dug into his treat, search momentarily abandoned.

 

Two mouthfuls in, Desmond finally noticed his tablemate’s unyielding stare. “What?”

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“Well, they wouldn’t be, would they?” Eloise queried rhetorically back at Desmond. “I imagine anyone who’s constantly viewed as inferior has more than a chip on their shoulder.” Eloise couldn’t relate – she viewed herself as superior to all around her, but she imagined it was very frustrating to be a goblin. To this day, they tended to be looked down upon.

She was looking for a more substantial answer from Desmond regarding how he was doing, and pursed her lips when she didn’t receive it. Eventful seemed a bit of an understatement to her, given he had been snogging Mercutio in the entryway not a moment earlier.

The Desmond she had gotten to know last year was similar to her in the way that he was highly independent, happy to be by himself, and seeming annoyed by those not smart enough to keep up. How had that Desmond turned into… this? The blonde stared unblinkingly at him as he began to dig through his satchel, not even bothering to answer the question he’d began voicing as she saw the smile that crept over his face when he pulled a cauldron cake out of his bag.

How could a cauldron cake bring so much… oh. Her icy blue eyes slipped to the wrapper, and specifically, the note on the wrapper, adorned with hearts. Remember to eat? Was that supposed to be romantic? Eloise couldn’t help but make a face, her lips turning down into some sort of dissatisfied frown. There were many people who she thought would fall into the trap of love, but Desmond was not one of those people. She didn’t understand the allure, and she thought Desmond had been on the same page as her.

He seemed to notice she was still staring at him, but it didn’t cause her to look away. Instead, her brows raised higher than ever before and she intoned, “Remember to eat?” Her tone was dripping in scorn, but also held a bit of a question in it, because beneath her outward disgust and inability to understand, she was curious about it all. However, her words, starting out scornful, continued that way, and she tacked on, “Does he also remind you to breathe?” She was being harsh, but she disliked being left in the dark, and this whole romance Desmond was suddenly ensconced in was something that was incomprehensible to her.

Was this what Tobias was trying to turn her into?

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At Eloise’s remark, several emotions within Desmond jostled to be acknowledged – shock, embarrassment and anger, to name a few. His expressions contorted in several ways to reflect just this. Desmond also couldn’t help but feel slighted before realizing exactly who he was speaking to. For all intents and purposes, Eloise was a younger version of himself. He too had been skeptical about this whole love thing before he gave it a chance. In fact, he would probably have remained skeptical if he hadn’t fallen for his best friend. He also knew that telling someone like Eloise wouldn’t change how she viewed things. For people like them, love was something that was meant to be personally experienced, not observed. Besides, considering he was still an amateur on the subject, he didn’t feel he was qualified to explain anything to the Ravenclaw.

 

But still, he could try – starting from the top. He pointedly bit into his treat, nudging a crumb away from the edge of his lips as he swallowed. “I have a nasty habit of forgetting to eat sometimes, especially when I have too many experiments I want to run.” Pressing cakes or sandwiches into his hands was something Merc did for him long before they were boyfriends. At first, it was just annoying. But somewhere along the way, Desmond had grew dependent on it. He could have starved in his second or third year if it weren’t for the jock’s mollycoddling.

 

The next question was far more insulting… but also amusing to a degree. He polished off his cauldron cake, dusting off the crumbs with careless claps of his hands. “Funny you should mention that,” Desmond said wryly, thinking back to the moments when he found himself gasping for breath post make-out. He snorted and waved away those memories, barely squashing down a blush. “Anyway, a part of me wants to say that you’d understand in due time but… there could also be a chance where that wouldn’t be the case.” Falling in love, like was something that just...happened. It's not something that could be forced. So whether Eloise would was a mystery to both of them.

 

Desmond saw Eloise as someone who was far more caustic than he was. He could be cold, yes, but that was when he was in a mood. In contrast, being cold was Eloise’s default mode. “I know what you’re thinking.” Desmond started, levelling a look at her. “You think emotions aren’t worth pandering to. That they’re distracting.” And honestly? Desmond still believed that…to some degree, at least. It’s part of the reason why he detested Merc’s PDA tendencies. “I don’t actually disagree. But at the same time, there are…things being with someone can provide that being alone can’t. I don’t think it is for everyone either. Girlfriends and boyfriends and the whole shebang. Frankly, I’m still figuring it all out – if it isn’t obvious enough.” He cleaned up his mess with a quick scouring charm before looking up at Eloise again. “Any more questions?”


Edited by Desmond Tonks

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Always curious to see the ways in which her words affected people, she watched the emotions flit across Desmond’s face as she waited for his response. His face seemed an easy one to read in that moment, seeming to contort with each different feeling that welled within him. She wanted to know; which would win out? She waited, a small smirk on her features. Eloise liked being able to have an effect on the way people felt, and she half-wanted Desmond to react in a volatile manner… but when his reaction came, that was not what she received.

Rationality won out, it would seem, and she was instead given the beginning of an explanation. “I see…” Eloise commented dubiously. She understood being so engrossed in something that you didn’t want to eat; she also could get that way when she was researching something, or really invested in getting a ballet routine perfect. The dubious part of her was wondering why Desmond would seem happy at being left a random treat with a note that reminded him to eat. Eloise thought she would be annoyed, but she hated being coddled in anyway… and there was some part of her that thought it was oddly charming.

She quickly stifled that part of her, especially since Desmond was speaking once more, saying more confusing things. Funny she should mention that? And it caused him to snort? "What's funny?" She frowned, her eyes narrowing into a glare as she waited for some sort of further explanation. It only annoyed her more when he elaborated. Who was he to tell her she mightn’t experience it? Forget the fact that Eloise wasn’t really interested in romance, she hated being told things like that. It didn’t change the fact that the thought of involving herself in a romantic relationship seemed like a waste of time to her…

She scowled as Desmond accurately told her what she was thinking about emotions. Eloise cocked her head to the side when Desmond finished up his tale. The answer was, yes, she had a million questions to ask him. But, for now, she would settle for just one… the one she was most curious about, “Exactly what can it provide me that being alone can’t… what’s so great about it?” Of course, she supposed one answer to that was the physicality that romance came with… holding hands, kissing, but she wasn’t sure that was what Desmond was talking about when he said that. And, despite herself, she was curious.


Edited by Eloise Beauchamp

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Desmond should have known Eloise, the ever curious one, would probe into a situation that he deliberately skimmed over. For her benefit, even. Usually, the Hufflepuff wouldn’t hold back any details, for he loved to engage in any sort of talk that challenged his intellect. However, their topic of choice today wasn’t something like powers or potions – it was about an emotion that Desmond himself had barely scratched the surface of. To him, anything he felt for Mercutio was intensely private.

 

But it wasn’t like he couldn’t not answer Eloise either. He didn’t owe her an explanation… but he also didn’t fancy the idea of the Ravenclaw getting ticked off at him much. He enjoyed her companionship to some extent…even if most of their interactions consisted of them silently working over their respective texts and notes.

 

In the end, he went for an answer that was neither here nor there.

 

“It’s got to do with something that couples get up to in their spare time.” Or not-spare time, really. “I… don’t think I need to elaborate on that, yes?” Eloise was a smart cookie – surely, she’d grasp the implications in his words.

 

Her next question was another tricky one but it was one that deserved to be given substantial thought. In effect, a pensive look overtook the Hufflepuff’s expression again. He didn’t mean to make Eloise wait, of course. He just wanted to be able to deliver an answer that was intricately crafted – with a bow and all. When Desmond finally started to speak, his words were heartfelt, heavy.

 

“I think it is… nice to have someone to lean on when you’re going through something rough.” He paused here to lick his lips. “A few years ago, I was attacked by Death Eaters in Diagon Alley. My muggle mother couldn’t possibly understand it. I only had Navi and Mercutio, who both went through the same experience. We recovered from the incident as a group. Of course, Mercutio was only a friend then. But the trust it fostered helped us in other situations as well.” Like the time where he was called in by the Ministry for a hearing for using magic on a muggle.

 

“Having someone close also broadens your worldview. They always see something you don’t and they can share their thoughts with you. That’s important for someone like me, who gets tunnel vision all the time. Such things help you to learn to consider different perspectives and to be a better person. It doesn’t have to be a boyfriend or a girlfriend, of course. For me, those sort of feelings just happen to develop along the way.”

 

The physical things were a bonus. But Desmond treasured Mercutio’s company far more than he snogs he could offer. “But I also think how one can benefit from a relationship differs from one couple to the next. Merc and I are certainly not a conventional one. But that’s fine. For some reason, he has accepted my flaws.” As Desmond had accepted his. “It’s just….nice to know you’re wanted. Honestly? My relationship with Merc hasn’t changed much from when we were best friends. It’s just more now.”

 

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“Ah… uh… no,” Eloise hurried to shake her head when Desmond answered her question about what was fun, her cheeks feeling warm all of a sudden. She of course was not ignorant to things that couples got up to in their alone time (or their not-so-alone time, in the case of some couples…) but talking about it was something entirely new to Eloise.

Luckily for Eloise’s cheeks, the subject did not continue, and she slowly felt the heat drain from them as Desmond ventured to answer her question. She stayed silent as he talked, trying to absorb what he was saying. In a way, everything he was telling her was good about relationships went entirely against how she was raised.

Her parents raised her that she shouldn’t need others to get through her struggles; she should be strong enough to get through them herself. That way, when she did accomplish things, she would have no one to thank but herself. Her independence was a trait she valued, and valued in others, as well. Much as she liked having people who were easy to order around, it was those like Desmond who had their own individuality that she respected the most.

Of course, she had never been through something as traumatic as being attacked by death eaters. It was strange to hear Desmond’s account of this, and she stayed silent as he explained how it helped reinforce the trust and bond he had with his friends. Eloise didn’t have that with anyone. The closest thing she had to a friend was Genevieve, or perhaps Desmond himself… and she had never thought of them as friends. More like allies. Tolerable people who she shared things in common with.

She wasn’t entirely sold on this idea of relationships being useful so you had someone to lean on, but what did pique her curiosity more was when Desmond told her that it could broaden her worldview. She didn’t know if she cared overly much for being a better person (she was fine just the way she was, right?), but what she did care about was learning things. She also hated feeling like she was missing something, hating the feeling when other people knew something she did not… did all these people who had friendships and relationships know something she didn’t in the way that they were able to be more well-rounded in general? Did these relationships she had previously spat upon actually strengthen you as a person, rather than weaken you?

Again, she wasn’t sure she was convinced, and she stayed silent as Desmond finished for a long moment. “I… see,” She finally settled on, though she still wasn’t sure that she saw. She could understand what Desmond was saying, and also comprehend that he as a person had all of these opinions he’d just told her… but what if she was not cut out for this relationship thing? What if they made some people stronger, but other people, like her, weaker? Did she dare attempt to find out which type she was?

“This has been very informative,” She concluded, eager to change the subject, if only because the very idea of changing the way she’d always dealt with people made her nervous. People were easier to deal with when you didn’t actually care about them; when they were pawns. “But I think I should get back to goblins, and you should get back to… whatever it was you were reading before, yes?” Eloise suggested, holding up her book once more and turning her eyes back toward the words, away from her tumultuous thoughts.

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