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Reasons Why I Deserve A Goat: An Autobiography by Daniel Devereaux-Snyder

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#1 Daniel Devereaux-Snyder

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 05:19 AM

Seeing Ajax in the study focused on a textbook with notes scattered all over the desk after six months of having to rely on the poor signals of hotel Wi-Fi, brought a broad grin to Daniel’s features and while he knew that getting Ajax’s attention at this point in time would require more than a simple hello, how you’ve been, pay attention to me, this was important. This couldn’t wait. Okay, it could wait but it was something he preferred to deal with now, before he changed his mind and decided to bring this up on another occasion after he was gone for another six months and could avoid the conversation altogether.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to deal with this, he did but it wasn’t simple; it was best to deal with it now.

Giving the other a once-over, Daniel sidestepped over to the project and plugged in his computer, clearing his throat three times (for good measure) to ensure that Ajax’s attention was on him. After all, he’d always been far more entertaining than a book, no matter how many times his husband tried to deny it. “We need to talk…” Daniel awkwardly stated, aware that the four words were the last thing anyone wanted to hear, especially when on the wall it read:

 

Reasons Why I Deserve A Goat: An Autobiography By the Love of Your Life, Your Favorite (AND ONLY) Husband, the Reason For Your Smiles, Daniel Devereaux-Snyder.



#2 Ajax Devereaux-Snyder

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 05:22 AM

Honestly, Ajax wasn't too surprised that Daniel had pulled up a PowerPoint about… whatever. He'd seen Daniel toiling over it for the past couple of hours. He hadn't known what it was but he was mostly just happy to be around Daniel after being away from him for so long.

And if Daniel was curious about what Ajax had done the entire time Daniel was gone, this was it. He'd studied. And Ajax had set aside an entire day for them to spend together, so they could catch up, but then he was just happy to have Daniel's company while he tried to work.

Which was easier said than done, given that Daniel was so cute and distracting and all Ajax wanted to do around him was moon over him like the lovesick teenager he'd been not too long ago.

So when Daniel stood by the projector and Ajax's attention went to his husband, the former Ravenclaw raised an eyebrow and pushed his glasses up his nose. "You know, the last time you said 'we need to talk' you tried to break up with me. What could happen this time?"



#3 Daniel Devereaux-Snyder

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 05:22 AM

“If I recall correctly, when I tried to break up with you, I never said ‘we need to talk’,” Daniel countered, “I said ‘I’m moving to Germany’ and you said ‘What’ and I said ‘And I’m breaking up with you’. Then you cried, I cried, you asked me to marry you, I said yes. Best decision to date, really. I love you.” He couldn’t help but let another small smile spread across his features. “As I was saying, I deserve a goat because you love me.”

Yes, Daniel knew it was the worst reasoning ever but he had to start somewhere. Besides, he’d been gone for six months, surely anything would have been enough to easily convince Ajax to accept whatever he wanted. Sometimes, Daniel was delusional about things. This was one of those times.

Pressing the spacebar past slides of googled stock photos of goats, pictures of the two with their current goats (photobombed by Waffles), Daniel spoke again. “Once upon a time, we were young and in love but tragedy struck when you were going to fail fifth year. Potions proved itself to be a worthy adversary and the future of Hogwarts — no — Scotland depended on one thing. You needed to become a potions master in order to pass the OWL and after long tutoring shifts in which we actually did some studying done, I came up with the only solution: blackmail. I stole a goat for you to save your grade. You passed. You owe me.”

Aware that this wasn’t going to make his case any more convincing, he continued with the powerpoint. “Reggie needs friends”

Cue a grin.



#4 Ajax Devereaux-Snyder

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 05:26 AM

"Okay, that's a little dramatic," Ajax mumbled, folding his arms over his chest and watching Daniel carefully. "Scotland wasn't in danger... not any real danger. But whatever, carry on."

 

See, this is why Ajax wasn't a professor. Not only did he not have the time to dedicate to it, what with his quidditch-following life and the whole dinosaur hunting thing, but he would have been the one to tell his students 'well, you only blew up a little bit of the country, so O* all around.'

 

He grinned. But then Daniel continued on with his PowerPoint and Ajax clicked his tongue as the pictures flicked across the screen. He still couldn't believe that Daniel had coerced him into taking 'family photos' with the goats they had. And he was about to bring up that fact when Daniel opened his adorable mouth and started speaking, saying blasphemous things about how Reggie needed friends.

Reggie was a goat. Ajax voiced this thought.

"He HAS friends!" Ajax insisted. "You're his friend. I am his friend. He has Remmy. And the cats. What more could he want? Is this a 'he needs friends' or a 'I'm Daniel Devereaux-Snyder, animal lover and secret animal softie, wants more animals'?"

And with that he winked and blew Daniel a kiss.



#5 Daniel Devereaux-Snyder

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 05:26 AM

“I’m a lot of things, babe, but dramatic isn’t one of them,” Daniel huffed. Ajax really was that bad at potions and Scotland was definitely on the verge of destruction — a wrong ingredient away from blowing up. “You know when you accuse me of things like that I start to wonder just how true our wedding vows really were.” Still, he couldn’t pretend to be angry with Ajax because there was some truth behind the other’s statement. Not like Daniel would ever admit to it. “Luckily, I love you almost as much as I need a new goat.”

Of course he expected the other to have some form of counter argument but Daniel was prepared for that. “He has companions. Are they really his friends. We don’t speak goat for all we know the other goats and Waffles and Grumpy could hate him. Reggie is our sweet, adorable, tiny goat child.”

If that wasn’t enough he had more to add on to that.

“How about something” Or someone “That” Who “Would always be with him? You’re at school, I’m travelling for quidditch, Reggie gets very lonely. Just look at this picture of Reggie: gloomy, lonely, if only there was another kid to keep him company.” For the record the picture presented was not Reggie but a random goat Daniel found after google searching for sad animals.

“Okay fine. Third reason: I am a not-so-secret animal softie and I want a new goat. No, correction. I deserve a goat because I am the best husband ever.”



#6 Ajax Devereaux-Snyder

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 05:27 AM

Of course Ajax had a bag of popcorn handy, because once he'd figured out how to properly incendio microwave popcorn he kept a few bags of the stuff handy at all times. For special occasions. Like this. Occasions where Daniel was giving him PowerPoint presentations.

"Almost? Well maybe I don't love you enough to buy you more gummy worms." Nonetheless, Ajax raised an eyebrow at the projector as Daniel continued, tossing popcorn back by the handful. Ajax was really wondering if Daniel had literally forgotten completely about the other addition to their goat family or if Remmy had died overnight or something. As he chewed on his popcorn, he shook his head.

"No," he said, grinning. "We don't have enough room. For animals. We barely have enough room when we have people over. We barely have room for us here, let alone more goats."

He stood up and moved over to Daniel, looping his arms around the other's neck. "I love you but we can't have more goats. I love you, Daniel, closeted animal softie. But pick something else to beg me for. Also," he raised an eyebrow. "Best husband ever? I think that award should go to ME."



#7 Daniel Devereaux-Snyder

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 05:27 AM

At the sight of the popcorn, Daniel paused the powerpoint to stride over to his husband and take a handful of the salty snack. “I don’t know if the fact that you have bags of popcorn at hand for any occasion makes me wonder why I married you or if that’s one of the reasons why I married you,” Daniel joked. Ajax was ridiculous at times but he wouldn’t have him any other way.

“Please,” he rolled his eyes, leaning down to press a quick kiss to Ajax’s lips. “You love me too much to deny me of gummy worms. I get all pouty and give you the puppy eyes you can’t resist and you bring me a giant bag of gummy worms almost on command.”

Returning to the computer, he carried on with the presentation to reach the second to last slide.

“Look who’s being dramatic now?! This place is a two bedroom flat nearly the size of your parents’ house,” Daniel rolled his eyes again, but still he smiled. “Reggie needs more friends than just Remmy. How would you feel if you only had one friend?” Sighing, Daniel gave up, and pressed the spacebar for the second to last slide of the powerpoint. “Okay, you win. No more goats but if we can’t have these kids...” Cue a picture of adorable goats. “Then can we have these kids instead?”

Cue a picture of babies.



#8 Ajax Devereaux-Snyder

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 05:28 AM

Ajax frowned as his popcorn became a victim to his husband. "This is an 'occasion'? This is less of an occasion and more of a 'Ajax let me have the thing' and the thing actually doesn't have anything to do with me which is ridiculously annoying," he said, but the corner of his mouth twitched into a smile, the frown faltering as he felt Daniel's lips on his own.

"I do love you," he mumbled, but rolled his eyes. "And yeah, those puppy dog eyes do get me."

It was true that their apartment was bigger than the house Ajax had grown up in, and honestly, the former Ravenclaw still wasn't really sure how this all had happened and he wasn't used to it at all. He chewed on his lip and looked around, because he was currently in a study that technically was his (when they'd looked at the apartment Daniel had bribed him into picking this place by saying 'this is a study. This is your study. Imagine the walls lined with books… and pictures… and then we can cuddle in the comfy chair in the corner…')

Yeah, hadn't been hard to win Ajax over.

Anyway, he pursed his lips and looked back over to the projection, listening as Daniel rambled on and on about the goats and then, he let out a sigh as Daniel conceded.

And then he stopped breathing.

Turning his gaze to Daniel slowly, Ajax had to take a few seconds to find his words.

"Wh-what?"



#9 Daniel Devereaux-Snyder

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 05:29 AM

Only Daniel Derek Devereaux-Snyder would use a powerpoint about baby goats to try and get the message across that he wanted to start a family. A real family. With actual tiny humans and not tiny baby goats. It was something that back at fifteen he would have never thought about, and if his initial reluctance to even hold Ronan or his feelings towards children during Muggle Studies were any indication it was that Daniel hated children. Slowly, his feelings towards them changed and while there was still some slight resentment towards Ajax’s nephew for that one time on the cruise, it became obvious that he liked having Ronan around.

Enough to the point where Daniel willingly babysat him (much to Ajax’s dismay).

“What... what?” He whispered, beginning to think that maybe this wasn’t a conversation that Ajax wanted to have yet and maybe the whole powerpoint had been a terrible idea (Daniel was going to blame his father for this idea even though it wasn’t Logan’s idea but Logan hadn’t given him a good idea so Daniel had to wing it). “I want to start a family with you. You, me, our goats, our cats, a tiny human we don’t have to give back to your sister at the end of the day.”

Sighing, he approached the other, taking a seat beside him. “I know what you’re going to say but I researched this, we only have to be twenty-one to do this and we’re twenty-one soon. Logan said he knows someone who would be willing to pull a few strings to let us start the applications early so by the time that we’re the legal age to adopt, we can have the first stages of paperwork out of the way.”



#10 Ajax Devereaux-Snyder

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 05:29 AM

All Ajax could do while Daniel spoke was watch the other. Ajax was definitely hearing everything that Daniel was saying, but for the first time he thought he was maybe seeing Daniel in a completely different way. Not that he ever saw Daniel as anything other than wonderful, handsome, beautiful, perfect, all the superlatives that he'd thought about Daniel for years now. But now he saw something on Daniel's face that was a look that he wasn't sure he'd ever seen before.

He knew that Daniel liked Ronan -- it was easy to see whenever Daniel went to pick his nephew up or Ronan was dropped off or anything like that. The subject of kids just hadn't really been broached when they were going through the course of their relationship. At least, not with the thought that they'd be having kids so young.

But he didn't think that was a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination. And the fact that Daniel had done all the research and looked stuff up and Logan was willing to help him (disregarding Ajax's disdain for his father-in-law as a whole), Ajax just…

He had to let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding, and examined Daniel carefully.

"Really?" he said, but there wasn't any disbelief or worry or fear in his tone. Instead it was edged with excitement and filled with happiness, indicated by the smile that threatened to take over his features and the tears that he was definitely afraid were going to make an appearance.



#11 Daniel Devereaux-Snyder

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 05:30 AM

The subject of kids and starting on a family was on Daniel’s mind for quite some time now but he never knew how to bring up the subject. He thought about it before the Quidditch season began but leaving for six months meant that there wouldn’t be a right to bring it up before then. But now, now it was different. He’d been promoted to co-captain of the Harriers and there wasn’t any quidditch until the Fall, and they could use the time in between to sit down and talk about the decision that could be made. Really talk about it.

“Really,” Daniel affirmed, a broad grin spreading across his features. “I love you and I want to start a family with you but only if you want to. If you think we’re still too young, if you think that we shouldn’t do this at this point in time, I understand that and I won’t press the subject any further. I don’t want you to think that you have to agree to this if you’re not ready only because I think I’m ready for that step. It’s up to you, but…”

He sighed, the smile widening.

“If you don’t think this is the worst idea in the world, then we should do this. We should fill out the forms and I promise I’ll keep Logan’s involvement as minimal as possible.”

 



#12 Ajax Devereaux-Snyder

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 05:31 AM

Ajax too had thought about having kids. Once it became apparent that Daniel was the person he wanted to and was going to be spending the rest of his life life, it was pretty prevalent in his thoughts. The idea of raising a family with the person that he loved the most was incredibly appealing, but when he'd brought the suggestion up to his older sister, Penny had simply said 'don't do it. Wait until you're older'..

But since when had he ever listened to Penny?

At Daniel's response Ajax let out a rushed breath. "No! No, oh god, no, I want to. I just... "

And he couldn't really figure out a proper way to respond to Daniel other than to cross the small expanse between them and press his palms to either side of Daniel's face, pressing their lips together in a sloppy but so, so happy kiss.

"I want to. Dude, you're the only person I want to have kids with and of course I want to do it. I want to start a family with you. And I don't care if we're too young. I don't care if people think we're too young."

He grinned. "I think it's one of the best ideas in the world. I love you so much, and I think this is one of the best ideas you've ever had. Better than the goats. Not by much, but close."

 

~







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