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Gary Youdle

I squidn't think that this would be an issue

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Gary rustled the pages of the Daily Prophet, pausing from his reading only to take a dainty sip of his mug of earl grey tea. He was an impressively cultured fellow, other than the fact that his tea was nearly white with cream and sugar and the paper was from a week and a half ago.

 

He shifted through tales of robberies and do-gooders, perused the classified sections (free cauldron to a good home! Ignore the stain in the bottom and we’ve got a deal!), and skipped over the editorial portion completely because who cared about others’ opinions?

 

One story caught his attention in particular, concerning The Giant Squid's inability to find love. Gary sympathized, other than the fact that he had already found love, so really it was more like he empathized if we're going to go into logistics.

 

"Maybe the other..." the Gryffindor squinted at the difficult to pronounce Japanese name. "...uh, thing didn't like it when the giant squid was kraken all those jokes on their first date."


Edited by Gary Youdle

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Cecily needed sustenance. If she didn't get to the Great Hall soon she was going to implode from a lack of food. Her stomach rumbled as she walked and Cecily clutched at her sweater, growing hangrier by the second.

 

She plopped down at the Gryffindor table and stuffed bread into her mouth, shoveling it down with fruits faster than any eleven year old should. Cecily finished off the food with a gulp of pumpkin juice and wiped her mouth, looking up for the first time since she inhaled food and saw Gary, the farter and fake posh kid.

 

"I doubt he did it on porpoise."

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Kaelyn yawned. She wasn't a morning person, but she couldn't be all shellfish about her sleep now that she had a boyfriend to eat breakfast with and all, so here she was.

 

"Maybe the squid should show off his mussels more or something." That type of behaviour usually worked for her.

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Taking another dignified slurp of tea, Gary licked the milky mustache that had clung to his non-existent one. "Maybe they had some sort of disagreement on whether to raise a clamily in the future or not. That sort of thing can be a deal breaker." He nodded knowingly as if he had extensive experience in the subject.

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Cecily shoved another piece of food in her mouth without looking. This time it was a waffle. Waffles were good. "Or maybe the squid got too crabby all the time. He doesn't seem to be all that friendly." Cecily shoved another waffle in her mouth, coated in syrup.

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"Or maybe the squid just had a really hard time expressing his eelings," Gary reasoned, keeping an eye on the plates around the girl that she was randomly grabbing from. Maybe she would accidentally take a bite out the small Rememberall that was nestled into the fruit basket amidst the apples and break a tooth.

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"Nothing wrong with being planktonic for a bit." Kaelyn curled up and put her head down. She was about as tired as her puppeteer.

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Gary probably wanted her to break a tooth.

 

Couldn't bite people without teeth.

 

Cecily grabbed a fresh plate of pancakes and began to consume them. She swung her fork around, pointing the pieces of pancake at Gary. "I think it's a load of carp, honestly. He probably doesn't care about love, just attention."

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^ #accurate

 

"Yeah, or maybe it just didn't work because her friends didn't make him feel very whale-come," Gary retorted. He was starting to get defensive and he did not know why.

 

Or was it...sea-fensive?

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"Maybe one of them has an evil codmother keeping them apart," Kaelyn suggested (she suddenly woke up for a bit). "Urchin gonna also consider that maybe they just aren't sole mates?"

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Kae was shellfish and using all the puns in a single post. How rude.

 

Cecily shoved more pancakes in her mouth, drowning in syrup. "The squid should just stop being a stupid, scared buoy and figure out his life for himself. No one else is gonna do it for him."

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"I mean, I don't blame him for wanting to seaweed out all the rejects," the Gryffindor stated thoughtfully before chugging the rest of his tea. "And maybe he's afraid of all the waves of emotions that it makes him feel. But he's a man. Well, a man-squid. And a man-squid has to go out and get a lady. After all, that's what life is aboat."

 

He slammed his empty cup on the table with passion burning in his eyes. "And I'll help him. It. Whatever."

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Cecily jumped when Gary slammed his mug on the table and hit her plate of drowned pancakes, sending the gooey syrup on Gary's shirt. Cecily glared at Gary. Her pancakes! How dare he. She grumpily grabbed an omelette.

 

"Channel your anger at the syrup and passion for the squid into action!"

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