Lovely, loyal readers, we have failed you. Yes, we have brought you news of failure and triumph. Yes, we have brought you news of Miss Prosser’s downward spiral into death, also known as the pit of a nundu’s stomach. But we have not given you news of how these champions live, the tumultuous youth to whom you have given your pride in hopes they will bring back victory.
Fear not, I – Chara Abrams, guest writer - bring you the freshest news from the sharpest talons today into the lives of two: Will Kilmarnook and Dictys Ator. Mr. Ator has been a bit of a middling champion, despite his apparent popularity (I mean, did you see the number of readers who was matched up to the dashing Slytherin in the quiz? I digress). We know dear Dictys is a Slytherin and came from modest means – the Goblet of Fire missed the memo that rarely anyone decent comes from Knockturn Alley but let’s hope that Mr. Ator had been reborn from the Goblet of Fire, like a phoenix! Now, I worked like a house elf to dig into the young man’s past. He left behind two sisters, a father and spellotape your heart, an ex-boyfriend. Yes, my readers, someone was able to dump that baby face. Scorned by the Head Boy at the start of the treacherous tournament, Dictys turned his sights on long-haired Morgan.
Otherwise known as Will Kilmarnook.
During preparations for the first task, it appears Miss Kilmarnook and Mr. Ator experienced an awakening in each other. Spotted: cuddling in the Durmstrang dining hall, spooning blueberry yogurt parfaits into each other’s mouths. Just what will these champions do next? Miss Prosser’s death however has put a damper on their budding relationship (boo!). The young Ravenclaw has hardly left her living quarters since, and let’s be honest, it’s not the amenities of the public transportation keeping her at bay. Dictys is keeping it busy, finding solace in the company of Durmstrang Head Boy Josef Köhler. Spotted: locking lips by the lakeside.
We caught Will Kilmarnook one late morning probably on her run to get some ice cream and inquired on her state of mind over the affair. She told us in confidence, “I . . . feel so . . . [sad].” Oh Will, we do too; our hearts break for you. It seems unfortunate to have a second setback (for readers who are behind, Miss Kilmarnook ranked 11, Category: Almost Dead) so early on. We suspect the champion in blue to be feeling quite alone at Durmstrang, with no one to write home to (hey, she did date her bro’s ex), and surrounded by what some call better-qualified candidates for her place in the tournament, for love and for glory.
R.I.P. DILL November 2029-December 2029
Chara Abrams is author of Bewitching the Witch: A How-To for Wizards and Witches and Ten Easy Steps for Ruling the World without AKing a Single Soul. The views of this guest column do not represent the Daily Prophet.
For days, rumors have been swirling surrounding the first task of this year’s Triwizard Tournament, hosted by the notoriously secretive Durmstrang Institute. The slow trickle of information from the school has been unreliable and often erroneous, which is why this reporter traveled to the school to view the task with his own eyes. This reporter was not, admittedly, permitted access to the premises due to a variety of… dubious legal difficulties… but this reporter must assure his readers that all his sources are of the utmost integrity and credibility!
You may trust, dear readers, that what follows is the truth.
I will start with the most dreadful news to come from this year’s tournament yet: the first fatality has occurred. Hogwarts champion Briony Prosser was tragically eaten alive by a nundu during the task. According to my sources, teammate Dictys Ator was too busy blowing bubbles to come to her aid, while Herbert Longbottom was preoccupied with transfiguring various of his body parts into ropes, ribbons, and pieces of string (my sources did not explain why he was doing this).
After Ms. Prosser’s death, her resourceful teammates used her dead body to lure the nundu into a cage. Unfortunately, they could not overcome the points loss resulting from Ms. Prosser’s untimely expiration, and Team Hogwarts received last place.
The unfortunate Beauxbatons team was thrown into a stadium full of a dozen fully-grown dragons and forced to fight for their lives. Champion Eglantine Coture, in a fit of what this reporter can only assume was dangerous overconfidence, attempted to ride one of the dragons. Unsurprisingly, she fell off the creature’s back and plummeted to the ground. My sources say Miss Coture is absolutely fine, except for the fact that she suffered a grievous head injury and can no longer remember anything of her life after the age of six.
The Beauxbatons champions also decided that teammate Léa Archibeque was useless for anything other than being used as live bait. This resulted in her being nearly mauled to death by several angry dragons. She was rescued by the intervention of Durmstrang officiators wishing to avoid the overblown media reaction that might result from a second death so early in the tournament.
The Durmstrang team faced what my sources described as a herd of irritable garden gnomes, and emerged from the task with three broken nails, several small cuts, and one skinned knee. I am told the skinned knee belonged to champion Isak Blomqvist.
R.I.P. Briony Gretel Prosser 2012 - 2030
Early this morning, 12 champions from Durmstrang, Beauxbaton and Hogwarts set out for their first task of the Triwizard Tournament. With no clues to indicate what they would be facing, the champions set out with nothing but rumors and guesses guiding their movements before the task was revealed. This reporter is happy to let the loyal readers of the Daily Prophet finally know about what our champions faced and how the task ended up.
The first of three tasks started off with creatures! Their mission was to guide their dangerous and possibly deadly creature to a cage about a mile away in the breathtaking landscape surrounding Durmstrang. It was soon shown that some schools had it better than others. Durmstrang was given a bunch of XXXX classified creatures (Erklings) while Beauxbaton and Hogwarts received XXXXX categorized challenges (Dragons and a Nundu cub). That didn’t deter Beauxbaton however as they somehow made it out on the top compared to the other two schools.
Teamwork was not well rewarded this task, those who set out on their own were the top ranked today. Top rated champion Kasper Kats seemed to think that dazzling the dragon shirtless would be the way to go. Second place champion Eglantine Coture merely had her teammates levitate her onto the dragon for a ride while poor teammate Lea Archibeque was forced to be live bait and horribly injured in the end. Durmstrang’s Jana Kohler seemed to have hexed the Erklings and ran off sending sparks, leaving her teammates to handle their task alone. But of course she returned in the mass confusion of spells that ended with some of the Erklings escaping their cage as the their time wrapped up. Fifth place Dictys Ator of Hogwarts didn’t even warn his teammates of the Nundu’s breath, placing a bubblehead charm upon his head long before poor Briony Prosser suffered from its disease ridden breath.
If this reporter had to pick, the top five they would be: Josef Kohler and Oksana Orlova of Durmstrang for the clever containment of the Erklings and guiding them along the valley with skilled transfiguration of boulders into childlike figures. Beauxbaton’s Latocia Evalisse for her epic transformation of the cage and rune use. And Will Kilmarnook of Hogwarts, with her flawless ability to lure the nundu to its cage while carrying sick teammate Briony Prosser on her back. All in all, we here at the Daily Prophet were impressed with the brains and skills these students showed in such a dangerous task.
What champions have already been lucky enough to score a date to the exclusive Yule Ball? We have all the answers right here, exclusively given to Witch Weekly by an anonymous source stationed at frosty Durmstrang.
It is a surprise for us to see that Beauxbatons champion Eglantine Coture agreed to go to the ball with the infamous Gryffindor bully Herbert Longbottom! While Herbert does have redeemable qualities in his facial appearance, he is quite husky and bulky for the delicate champion. We know that there are much better dates out there for her, and that Herbert definitely should fly solo on this one. Precious flower, be careful not to wither.
It seems the Coture isn’t the only one with problems on the horizon. Hufflepuff champion Briony Prosser might just have to share some attention, because our anonymous source says that her date, Durmstrang’s very own Head Boy Josef Köhler, has a love affair with his falcon. Perhaps they will be attending the ball as a trio? Time will tell!
A rather adorable pairing that we love is Beauxbatons champion Kasper Kats and Hogwarts delegate Apple Capalet. We hear that Kasper has been given Apple lessons in his native French, which obviously means that they are going with each other to the ball. The new Romeo and Juliet perhaps?
As for the decorations, your reporters are convinced that Durmstrang Institute is going all out. The Yule Ball has always been a way for a host school to show off their best qualities, so expect a beautiful snowbound set with icicle draping the edges of the walls. There will definitely be some magical touches, as this is the Triwizard Tournament after all, so keep an eye out for the small details that will be making its way into the ball. We will definitely have all the details in next week’s issue and we sincerely hope everyone’s just as stoked as we are for the Yule Ball!
This week, our reader poll is: What is the percentage that our predictions will be correct?
This is it! Christmas is just around the corner and with the TriWizard Tournament going on, we all know what that means! That’s right- the Yule Ball! Who’s going with who? What drama is likely to unfold? With just five male champions, and seven female champions, there’s sure to be some catfights over claiming the guys. Let’s not forget the delegates, which make the numbers eight males and twelve females. More to come in the next issue while we cover the latest trends, fashions and what the mysterious Durmstrang Institute has in mind for the Yule Ball!
Wand Direction is obviously one of the first and most popular bands to come to mind. Highly successful, the five boys are busy touring Europe and are currently in Munich. Coincidence? I think not! Perhaps these talented five musicians would stop by for this celebration, causing mixed reactions. Hogwarts champion Briony Prosser claims to be their and I quote, “BIGGEST FAN!!” completed with an ear-piercing “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!” while Durmstrang champion Isak Blomqvist has clearly lived under a rock having never heard of the popular band (“Who?”).
Perhaps Durmstrang Institute will opt for something a bit classical or maybe even acapella groups. Of course the magical school is best at secrecy so what groups were booked will only be revealed in time.
As far as what’s hot and what’s not in terms of the latest trends, we’ve been lucky enough to be given a list by the most well-known fashion designers and stylists. Mainly, the latest hair trends. As the yule ball has not happened in quite a while, champions are expected to make a scene and what better way to have colour-ed strands of hair among the natural colour? Red for those with lighter colour hair and dark purple for those with darker tones; It’d be a very different way of accessorizing (unique too!), the pop of color is sure to match well with the entire attire just as long as our young champions and delegates take care not to go overboard. Go for something subtle yet majestic, not bold and daring. Let your hairstyle accentuate your features- experiment around! A chic bun? Loose beach waves? The options are endless.
As far as jewelry goes, silver seems to be all the rage these days and what better to match with the theme Durmstrang Institute has in mind than silver? White and silver just has that soft yet beautiful view to it, matching perfectly with the icy setting. Gold may prove to be a little bit strong, but as long as one matches it in all the right ways, it could be very well be dazzling, even moreso than the combination of silver and white.
Whether or not the attendants will take advantage of these tips on what’s in season or not will only be revealed in a days’ time.
Now that our twelve Tri-Wizard Champions have been chosen, the tournament itself is the new hot topic. As we count down the days until our Hogwarts Heroes have to face their potential demises, your restless Daily Prophet Reporter spends her time investigating the nature of the upcoming tasks.
Upon approaching those responsible for planning and organizing the tournament tasks with a radiant smile and a quick-notes quill hovering over our heads, your favorite reporter receives few answers, the politest of which is “Scamper off, wench, before we make sticking that quill up somewhere private of yours a task for the champions.” The nerve! Reluctant though I am to report this degrading comment, I feel it is my duty as an honest journalist to show the Wizarding community just what type of human beings are running the famous Tri-Wizard tournament.
Our Champions are perhaps less impudent, but they are of no more help. “A challenge,” is the informative answer Archibeque presents to me when I ask what she expects from the tasks. “Tasks are meant to be a test of strength, wit and magical ability. So I expect that,” says the Kat of Beauxbatons. Thank you, Mister Kats, we did not know that. But we forgive you, for you are still gorgeous.
Witches and Wizards from all over Europe have discussed the topic to death (no pun intended). It seems the theories become wilder in tune with the female fan base of Josef Köhler’s. Some of the less absurd ideas circling the continent are that our Champions will have to battle a giant each, fight off an army of Nifflers whilst wearing armors made of pure gold and, as the beautiful Kasper Kats tells us, “Someone wrote to me suggesting the first task would be herding a hundred cats.” Yikes. I never liked cats. What do you think the formidable tasks will bring, faithful readers? Will they be a rehash of previous tournament tasks or should we whisper a prayer whilst we fish out our Omnioculars and wait for a flock of giants to cross the Tower Bridge?
A recently published personality quiz, in which teenage females can find their ideal match in one of this year’s male Triwizard Tournament champions, has caused quite a stir amongst the young European wizarding population.
The quiz, published in a late November issue of ‘Witch Weekly,’ contained questions such as “Do you like muggles?” and “Are you a fan of Harry Potter?” for girls to answer to help them find their perfect match.
Research indicates that the viral quiz has been extremely successful in most wizarding schools across Europe, with 94% of readers concluding that they were pleased with the result they were given. The most common result appeared to be Slytherin student Dictys Ator, with Beauxbatons’ only male champion Kasper Kats coming in second. Surprisingly, Herbert Longbottom ranked fourth out of the five male champions, with Durmstrang’s Isak Blomqvist proving to be even less datable than Hogwarts’ savage bully.
At Durmstrang School, however, the Triwizard Tournament champions and foreign delegates appear to be divided. While some had positive things to say, others were extremely disappointed or even offended by the contents of the quiz.
Apple Capalet, one of the Hogwarts delegates, told the Prophet: “It put me with the best looking champion. It’s a great quiz!” Léa Archibeque of Beauxbatons was clearly in agreement as she told us, “I do not have a problem approaching boys now.” Clearly her result of schoolmate Kasper Kats has inspired the female champion to develop her relationship with him. Could we see romance blossoming in the near future? It is very possible!
A particularly humorous response from Durmstrang’s Jana Köhler - “I am glad I did not get my brother,” - also highlights the astounding success of Witch Weekly’s quiz.
On the other hand, the male champions themselves were much less enthusiastic about the publication. “I would hope young girls and boys would be spending their spare time more fruitfully,” said an irritated Josef Köhler during his interview. Kasper Kats also deemed the questions to be very inappropriate and inaccurate, telling us that he does not hate muggles at all! And Isak Blomqvist informed us that he didn’t understand the quiz - perhaps a response prompted by the fact that he was the least popular of all the male champions?
All in all, it seems that the quiz’s success has prompted a variety of mixed reviews. But your humble nineteen year old Daily Prophet reporter, if you were wondering, was very pleased with her result of… well, that would be telling!
The stage has been set: the Triwizard champions will soon face their first task against the backdrop of the unforgiving tundra. In a break from the tradition of past competitions, the champions will enter their task without a single clue, and blind to the challenges that await them. Without guidance, the champions must rely on themselves, armed only with their wands and their wits. Skill, tenacity, and perseverance will separate the true champions from the rest.
Our first impressions of the chosen twelve no longer suffice. Names tell us little about their hearts, their skills, and their motivations. The debut on the field will be their first chance to prove themselves: who will triumph, and who will lag behind? What is the measure of a Triwizard Champion, and who will fit the bill?
Unfortunately, few inspire confidence throughout their days of preparation, and most fail to meet our expectations. The students flock to Durmstrang’s extensive library, searching for answers in dusty tomes. Beauxbatons’ Eglantine Coture never seems to leave, under the impression that she may stumble upon something remotely relevant to the task. However unlikely it is, her dedication surpasses that of her teammates. The taciturn Latocia Évalisse would prefer to play in the snow while seasoned chaser Kasper Kats abandons his studies for trips to the Quidditch pitch. Léa Archibeque attempts to catch up to her older teammates, rightfully concerned with the risk of falling behind. Luckily for her, it should not take much effort given their stunted progress.
Gryffindor Herbert Longbottom claims to be “brushing up” on his spell work, but whether his words are said out of humility or carelessness is unclear. The other Hogwarts champions do not fare much better; in particular, Will Kilmarnook’s subpar efforts reflect poorly on her school and on Rowena Ravenclaw’s legacy. Durmstrang’s own Isak Blomqvist, though occasionally seen in the library, spends his time hiding from overenthusiastic peers instead of practicing. Oksana Orlova remains an enigma, but hopefully she proves to be less passive and less prone to slacking off than her teammate.
Their sense of initiative seems to have been tossed into the goblet with their names, or they fail to recognize the gravity of their situation. The history of the Triwizard Tournament is long, rife with accidents and, on multiple occasions, death. That the champions make mediocre efforts at best to prepare for their harrowing tests does not bode well for the first task. Rather than the survival of the fittest, it will be the clash of competitors who are entirely unfit for the challenge. One can only hope for performances that live up to the title of Champion, but take care not to become easy prey for disappointment.
To the champions: good luck. You will surely need it.
With speculation thick in the air as the date of the First Task of the highly anticipated Tri-Wizard Tournament looms closer, we consider less of fact and more of fan driven myth. Let us change this today by thoroughly analyzing the facts as they present themselves:
The Tri-Wizard Tournament is a thrilling spectator sport. We can expect some thrill.
It is likely that the champions from each school will be working in groups for the first task.
Giant cages were reportedly brought into the country and have not been accounted for since. From this, we can deduce that the other theories have some basis in fact that our champions will be facing dangerous magical creatures of some sort.
There will be some element of challenge, for without challenge, it would be a poor tournament.
Separate, these bits of factual information tell us very little about the first task, but there is one Task that fits all of these criterion, and more. It is with the fact that none of this can be disproven, in mind, that I present to you the first task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament: Skyfall.
Champions will be working in teams grouped by educational facility, and will begin the task thousands of feet in the air, under a bubble head charm and atop a flying carpet. Each champion will be secretly charmed a certain ‘colour’, and will carry a gobstone of a different colour. Upon the start of the task, the carpet will be set aflame and the champions will proceed to free fall towards the ground. Any form of assisted flight or levitation is prohibited, but slowing charms will catch their fall at ground level. The objective is simple: each champion must figure out their secret ‘colour’ and be in possession of the matching gobstone by the time they hit the ground.
The catch? Each champion will be also strapped onto the belly of a dangerous magical creature. Any and all harm to these creatures will be prohibited and punishable by immediate removal from the area, severely crippling one’s team. The species of the creature is unknown to us as of now, but two of the creatures will be the same species, a nursing mother and the mother’s child. Another of the creatures will be the first creature’s natural predator. The final creature will be the first creature’s natural prey.
Our source assures us that none of these creatures will be winged and will be physically unable to harm the particular human strapped to them, but other sources inform me that magical creatures do not like freefalling from extreme heights and are likely to be hostile. We have also been informed that it will not be a free-for-all flying pit of doom and the different schools will take turns to complete this task, if at all possible.
Disagree with this speculation? Please send in any arguments and proof you have to dispute this along with your name, and all valid counter-proofs will be entered into a draw to win an exclusive Kasper Kats poster by tomorrow morning!
Welcome back! In our previous issue we covered six of the twelve representatives Hogwarts has chosen, and in this piece we will discuss the six we have left.
Hufflepuff delegate Briony Prosser is the one you should be betting on, with a list of achievements that many will only ever crave to have. Despite her many duties as Head Girl, the girl is a regular of the duelling chamber and is a consistent top-ranker in Hogwarts’ duelling tournaments. Her bubbly personality is sure to garner her the same popularity in Durmstrang that she already has in Hogwarts. Still, the upcoming Triwizard Tournament looks like it could turn into a battleground for ex-flings as Prosser admits she isn’t looking forward to sharing quarters with Chase Eaton, citing a history between the two. And just who exactly is Eaton? The Slytherin delegate doesn’t seem to be a popular name amongst his fellow representatives. In my curiousity I approached several other students, who expressed similar distaste. “I don’t get homesick,” he states when I prod him for more information. Based on the information I have gathered, there may be a bad boy in our midst, and it looks like there won’t be any love lost in his departure.
It’s a little known fact that Ravenclaw Will Kilmarnook is the twin sister of the Head Boy, Morgan Kilmarnook, and while she may have so far made a softer mark on Hogwarts than her brother, the Triwizard Tournament could very well be her opportunity to end her school years on a high note. Kilmarnook admits she doesn’t know what to expect from the challenges ahead, but also expressed a confidence in her physical abilities. Ever the Ravenclaw, the girl plans on stowing most of the winnings away for safekeeping, although some self-pampering before that won’t be out of the question.
Kai Fireblader considers himself a bit of an all-rounder among the hopefuls, with both the brawn and the brains to tackle whatever might be thrown his way. He was affable enough when I approached him, always adding to his answers a tinge of a laugh. The Gryffindor may be taken, but ladies might still want to take note. “I’ve always been a bit of a reckless soul,” confesses Fireblader when I ask him about his reason for entering. On the flipside, the Tournament may slowly drive Alice Bogswead into insanity. The girl states she is here just to prove a point, but will she soon find out she may be biting off more than she can chew? Bogswead is quick to reassure that she still has a good head on her shoulders. Only time can tell if the goblet tips in her favour.
Finally, we have the eldest son of the Longbottom family, the long-awaited Gryffindor delegate Herbert Longbottom. Longbottom has quite the legacy to live up to and we’re sure his family is just as thrilled as he is that he’s now one of the twelve chosen to represent Hogwarts. The seventh year admits that it will be tough leaving his family and friends behind, as it’s something he’s never done before. While he showed a surprising amount of modesty in the interview he gave, we shall soon see if he follows his father’s lead to greatness.
That’s all from me for now, but join us next time as the delegates head north and the real fun begins.
As the spotlight falls on the most outstanding of the British wizarding youth once again, you might find yourself wondering who exactly these twelve young whippersnappers are, shortly to be sent abroad as an example of Hogwarts’ educational prowess. Well wonder no longer! I was lucky enough to be granted short interviews with every member of the Hogwarts delegation earlier this week and let me tell you, Durmstrang is not going to know what hit it.
Those of you familiar with the professional duellist Avril Capalet might be tempted by her platform prowess to put your money on her younger cousin, a blonde Hufflepuff named Apple. However, this bundle of sunshine – and my quill is dripping with irony as I write that – is about as far from her determined and down-to-earth relative as you could get. Apple itches for “fame” and to “escape from all the losers at school” by competing in the tournament. While she might not seem the typical Hufflepuff, her fellow delegate Kaleb Anderson seems to fulfill all the expectations of his house. A Gryffindor, by all accounts confident and with a thirst for adventure, the sixth year is yet to be seen without a smile on his face. Whether it is a cheering charm gone wrong or just his natural persona is yet to be uncovered.
If you like your men (if you could call them men) a little more rough around the edges, look no further than seventh year Dictys Ator. Strikingly handsome, the Slytherin delegate with a particular talent for Transfiguration draws the eye naturally. Described by one anonymous female as “the perfect guy,” Hogwarts’ loss will surely be our gain as a newfound fondness for the library this year gives him an edge on the competition both intellectually and aesthetically. Perhaps he has study sessions with one Lilia McEvans, a Ravenclaw classmate and delegate who also takes pride in her academics. A dedicated student, the Prefect even states that she would donate any prize winnings to the staff of Hogwarts as a “token of appreciation for their continued efforts to educate us.” Lilia refuses to speak ill of any of her fellow delegates and even-handedly manages to negotiate her way around controversy. With a pretty face and flowing locks of strawberry blonde hair, we at the Daily Prophet doubt that will last for long.
More of an enigma is one of the youngest delegates, Slytherin Isabella Carter. Something of a lone wolf she admits that it will be “interesting” sharing her quarters at Durmstrang with her fellow delegates. And when probed for her strategy going into the tournament she replies, “I can’t reveal everything, can I?” with a wry smile. If there’s a femme fatale in the Hogwarts bunch it is bound to be this brown-haired beauty, who gives off the aura of always being one step ahead of the rest. Hufflepuff Quidditch star Ettie O’Malley brings us to our half-way point. Although not the most aggressive player, her absence will surely be felt on the pitch this year. If we are to assign characters to the delegates, O’Malley is surely the underdog. Understated and unassuming, the Prefect is the kind of girl easily lost in a crowd of larger personalities. We all know however, that it is often the quiet ones you have to look out for.
If this has whet your appetite for all the gossip from the Hogwarts camp, don’t miss my follow-up piece where we discuss the remaining six delegates, including the eldest son of the legendary Neville Longbottom.
Basking in the glory of their new-found fame, enter the freshly-selected Hogwarts delegates.
Your resident Daily Prophet reporter was left to observe the lucky twelve from afar, perched atop an old wobbly stool in Hogwarts’ Great Hall as the whole school attended a celebratory luncheon in their honour.
But it wasn’t all plain sailing, as events related in any way to the Triwizard Tournament are always guaranteed to be.
As expected, the three D’s – disruption, disagreement and disappointment – caused chaos throughout the entire sitting. The opening minutes of the affair saw a whole heap of complaints, including Hufflepuff Apple Capalet’s constant whining about the lack of salad on the menu and Ravenclaw Alice Bogswead’s declaration that the Professors had made too much of an effort. However, the award for the most inappropriate comment went almost immediately to Slytherin’s Chase Eaton, following an expression of his enthusiasm to watch his fellow delegates get maimed by savage beasts during one of the tasks.
And the surprises just kept on coming. In particular, Harry Potter’s fashionably late arrival caused quite a stir amongst the delegates, though we at the Daily Prophet are yet to work out whether the Hogwarts students were simply starstruck or outraged by their hero’s appearance in a suspiciously feminine scarf.
“It was especially cool to see Harry Potter show up,” Gryffindor’s Kai Fireblader told the Prophet, strongly backed up by the agreement of Ravenclaw’s Lilia McEvans who stated that it was “unbelievable,” but it seemed that Hufflepuff’s Briony Prosser felt inclined to disagree when she almost choked and died in the Auror’s presence. Coupled with the shocking conversation your humble reporter overheard between Hufflepuff’s Prosser, Slytherin’s Eaton and their fellow delegate Dictys Ator of Slytherin, we can only conclude that Hogwarts’ Head Girl prefers her men to dress in a more masculine way.
Undoubtedly, the history between these three students could be headline material – and interactions between Neville Longbottom’s son Herbert (Gryffindor) and Hufflepuff’s Apple Capalet also suggest an interesting past.
It is clear to see that this year’s Triwizard Tournament and the Hogwarts delegate selection will not disappoint! More to come as the events unfold.
The Triwizard Tournament has been a beloved tradition for the trinity of schools – Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang – for nearly 700 years. This year, hosted by the elusive Durmstrang Institute, it has promise of danger and adventure, thrilling tests for our brilliant youth. Just last night, a reliable source, speaking in anonymity, has released the following list of students who will be traveling to the frosty lands as Hogwarts’s delegates:
Ettie O’Malley Alice Bogswead
Will Kilmarnook Herbert Longbottom
Kaleb Anderson Chase Eaton
Just who are these teenagers who have been tasked with representing their school? As the weeks unfold, we here at the Daily Prophet vow to bring you the latest of news as they face tests of courage and character at Durmstrang. If the last tournament is anything to judge by, then we hope to be on the edge of our quills just as we were when Miles Weber dove off the Astronomy Tower as a canary to safety.
Yesterday the Daily Prophet received word that there was an accidental fire in the Headmaster’s Office at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Arthur Weasley, current headmaster of the school who is known for his love of muggle artifacts, left some of these devices in the office and one of them exploded, causing flames to singe some portraits of former headmasters and headmistresses. Today, a restoration professional entered the school to fix the portraits of Basil Fronsac, Brian Gagwilde, Eupraxia Mole, Phyllida Spore, Quentin Trimble, and Vindictus Veridian.
Once contacting Headmaster Weasley for comment, I was actually invited into the Headmaster’s Office at Hogwarts, which is a rarity for personnel outside of the school. When asked what had happened, Mr Weasley had this to say: “Most of the damage was sustained by my small collection of muggle artifacts. The portraits were only lightly singed. I’m sure I could’ve repaired them myself, but they wanted a magical art restoration professional. I suppose that is perfectly understandable.” He followed up with, “No lasting harm done. I wish I’d been there to see it.”
Throughout the interview, the portraits of some former headmasters and headmistresses had things to say. Dilys Derwent, who also has a portrait in St. Mungo’s told me, “That would have been quite the lengthy stay with me in my St. Mungo’s days were we not paintings. Good thing it was us who caught the brunt and not Arthur!”
Former Headmaster Limebert took another approach saying, “It’s terribly inconvenient, this whole ordeal. First the explosion and now artists working during my pre-designated nap times. I suggested that we just toss the damaged portraits into a closet and let them collect dust but that wasn’t met with as much enthusiasm as I would have liked.” Ambrose Swott also had something to say about the intrusion: “Wherefore art these peoples in my chamber? Be gone, be gone! I must needs be alone, be solitary, for if only to comb my whiskers. A pox! Fie unto them!”
Not to be outdone, Severus Snape would like to “formally request the newly restored, and more red-headed looking Spore be placed right next to me, and that Headmaster Trimble’s portrait be positioned far, far away from my… budding… portrait romance.”
By the time I left Headmaster Weasley and the portraits behind, the damaged ones had been restored to their former glory and were chatting away with the other paintings and the current headmaster. I would like to extend my happiness that the paintings were not badly harmed and that they could be restored so quickly. Best wishes to all the paintings of Hogwarts and let us hope that Arthur Weasley is more careful with his muggle objects from now on.
(OOC Note: The Daily Prophet would like to welcome and congratulate the new moderators of Virtual Hogwarts! We hope that you enjoy your new responsibilities and we wish you luck! Thank you very much to the seasoned mods for providing the quotes used in this article and for allowing me to write it! Lastly, look out for more DP action soon as we revamp the newspaper! Thanks, Barnabus Cuffe)
The Quidditch World Cup is here in the United Kingdom at last! The opening ceremony featured The Sparkle Lord in massive amounts of frivolity and sparkles, though the crowd seemed to love him and I’m fairly sure he’s written everything on the WWN ever. This year, competing for that elusive cup, will be Kenya, Madagascar, Brazil, El Salvador, Jamaica, Peru, India, Japan, Thailand, Andorra, Italy, the Netherlands, Poland, Russia, Ireland, and finally, the country we know you’re all rooting for, our very own England. Even though I know half of you will be rooting for Ireland or other pointless countries (with the exception of Japan, which is clearly going to come out the victor), England has a surefire team this year that’s guaranteed not to disappoint.
It’s about time, too. The English National Team has been a disappointment since 1966, but never fear! They’re stronger than ever this year, managed by Art Redknapp and going undefeated in the qualifiers. I don’t even know what the players are like on an individual level because their teamwork is simply stellar. Granted, there’s no Roderick Plumpton on the team, but then again, no one can beat him. The man’s set a precedent and no one is nearly that talented.
Keep an eye out for the Quidditch vets in the stands — I’ve heard that some of them might make an appearance. If anyone sees Plumpton or the Iwayama duo, be sure to send them over to me for an autograph. Or give them my owl address, that’s fine, as well.
More to come as the games begin, but for now, my money’s on Japan and England duking it out in the finals. My best to all the teams (not really).
- Feige Jarkeni
After the success of England’s domestic teams on both the British and international stage this year, it is no surprise that we at the Daily Prophet - and beyond! - predict greatness from our national team as they prepare for the pinnacle of wizarding sport: The Quidditch World Cup! The Daily Prophet has spoken with experts from every facet of the magical community to come up with solid proof that England’s path through the competition will be easier than cobbing a flobberworm.
First, there is the indisputable advantage of playing on home turf. While there are close to a thousand anti-muggle measures surrounding the site for miles with Calstock, Cornwall at the epicentre, even magic cannot ward off the ultimate disruption: British weather. With rain, sleet, and gale-force winds (and that’s just within the last twenty-four hours!) to contend with, it takes a thoroughly conditioned player to keep their eyes on the prize. “I’m more at home playing in the rain,” chuckles star chaser Amanda Overton, as she shakes the last remnants of a thunderstorm from her blonde hair after a match between her home Appleby Arrows and long-time rivals Puddlemere United. “If anything, England’s crazy weather will work in our advantage. No one else will have had time to acclimatise.”
Overton’s teammate Ambience Valentein and Falcons player Sebastian Montague make quite the seeker duo on the pitch. While Hufflepuffs and Slytherins might not have had much to do with each other in the halls of Hogwarts, out in the great wide world of Quidditch they make a formidable twosome. Although Montague had always been a star when it came to snitch business, it’s only in the past year that Valentein has really come into her own, and was a late addition to the team; sneaking onto the roster at the very last second. Some are piping her as England’s secret weapon on the pitch.
But familiar surroundings and star seekers aren’t the only reason that England has the upper-hand going into the tournament. As well as an influx of new talent, all chomping at the bit to prove their worth, veteran keeper Theodore Plunkett’s name appears on the World Cup roster for a record tenth time. Recruited straight out of Hogwarts at eighteen, the Tornados’ keeper prodigy was called in to replace an injured player in the 1986 World Cup and has been a permanent fixture on the line-up ever since. With a block to let-in ratio higher than any other British keeper in history, it’s no surprise that fans of Quidditch refer to him as ‘The Wall’.
With Plunkett guarding the hoops, the tournament really is England’s to lose. With cohesion between our beaters and chasers, the Daily Prophet is predicting some dazzling plays and phenomenal tactics – and we’re not the only ones! Amadeus Archer, the renowned wizarding astrologer has some interesting theories regarding the zodiac signs of English stars. “They’re all air signs,” he says of the chasers, “Great socialisers and in a game like Quidditch communication is key.” Of the team in general; “Honestly, I’ve never seen a more compatible group of players. The hard facts speak for themselves,” he gestures vaguely to the star-speckled sky as evening approaches the Daily Prophet offices.
If that wasn’t convincing enough for you, a ministry spokesperson from the Department of Mysteries spoke in confidence to our reporters. “I shouldn’t really be telling you this, but we’ve never had so many prophecies regarding England’s success! From approved seers and amateur enthusiasts alike.” They added, “Usually people predict a crushing defeat for England in the very first round.”
Ask anyone – this alignment of talent, optimism and sheer luck comes along but once in a generation. Support England today or you’ll be kicking yourself when they chase, beat and seek their way to the final. Whatever the route, this year we can assure you of England’s final destination – VICTORY!
In the lush lobby of the Wizarding chain of hotels – Le Sivier – the glittering god known as The Sparkle Lord is casually draped across a plush chair in a steel-grey suit, sequined waistcoat and luminous overly-tanned skin the only indication of his dazzling stage persona.
One he had sworn to give up over a decade ago…
With rumours of an illegal potion addiction rife and with a number of lack-lustre performances, the Sparkle Prince – as he was then known – looked to be losing his shine. The world-famous presenter and former Mr Magical Universe winner was slated by the press, forcing him to go into self-imposed exile, where he allegedly penned the best-selling Afterlight series.
Now, Appletini in his ring-studded grasp, he is back on form with a new title. Flashing his gleaming smile, the Sparkle Lord revealed: “I want to find that special spark again. We all make mistakes and we learn from them. It’s my life’s work to bring a sparkle to the world and more importantly, in these troubling times, to remind people that they can shine too.”
The troubling times he refers to are the Death Eater attacks which had been a plague upon the country for numerous weeks. Flirtatiously waving over a lithe waiter to order another cocktail, wafting his own unique scent into the lobby – a powdery jasmine scent – a few heads turn from the bar, followed by excited muttering: “Is that who I think it is?” “Hasn’t he aged well.” “I hear he’s half-Veela.”
The compliments and rumours he only ever addresses with a polite smile, before steering himself diligently back on track. “There should only be one lord,” he continued, referring to the elusive Dark Lord behind the spate of vandalism, crime and murder, “That’s me, the Sparkle Lord, and I’m bringing the magic back.”
But is the Sparkle Lord’s glimmering return in any way connected to the upcoming Quidditch World Cup Opening Ceremony? With pursed lips and a solemn shake of his head, he refuses to give anything away.
England is hoping to use the World Cup to boost its tourism business, but it’s got to be wondered whether it will work at all. In terms of where tourists are most attracted to visit, England is only at #32 in the world compared to a reasonable #6 last year*.
Reasons cited for this atrocious dip in ranking include the weather, and Death Eaters. More accurately, it involves the sheer number of public attacks in the last two years. Two major shopping areas, Diagon Alley and Oxford Street, have been hit. The impenetrable Gringotts had a troll sized hole in the wall for a week. Children were kidnapped off the Hogwarts grounds with two Professors killed in the process and a further attack in Hogsmeade happened conveniently on a day Hogwarts students were visiting. Barely last week, the students were attacked on the Hogwarts Express itself.
If it serves as any proof that a Quidditch match is a delightfully large and populated area for the Death Eaters to attack in, look only at last month. 72 were injured and eight left dead at the Appleby Arrows vs Holyhead Harpies and for once it wasn’t the fault of the Harpies’ pet harpy.
Anyone who thinks that England is safe from Death Eaters is out of their mind. Anyone who thinks that there will be enough of these people to overcome the sinking tourist trade is even more out of their minds. At the moment, not even the English think this.
Of course, the English are known for being happily pessimistic at the best of times, so perhaps it would be more apt to draw on a different English trait, such as bearing whatever happens with unyielding tenacity. Arrows player Amanda Overton comments thus: “I’m not going to get them get to me. What happened was a tragedy and the best way to honor those fans who never returned home is to bring the trophy home.”
The final qualifiers are done, and now the real action begins. A large village on the edge of Cornwall, Calstock has been chosen to host the matches. 90,000 people will pack the newly built Calstock stadium in just under a year’s time for the final match with millions more tuning in to listen at home, but there is still plenty to happen before that.
The final 16 teams facing off against each other will be:
England vs Andorra (26 Sept, 3pm)
Jamaica vs Brazil (27 Sept, 3pm)
India vs Russia (28 Sept, 2pm)
Poland vs Ireland (29 Sept, 3pm)
Italy vs Netherlands (30 Sept, 2pm)
Madagascar vs Kenya (1 Oct, 2pm)
Peru vs Thailand (2 Oct, 2pm)
El Salvador vs Japan (3 Oct, 2pm)
All matches will be commentated live on WWN1, with pre-match comments and interviews starting at 1:30pm (3pm start time) or 12:30pm (2pm start time).
The lucky eight will then start semi-final matches from mid-November onwards.
The wizarding world has once again been struck by terror after only a few months after the kidnapping scandal of last winter. Then it was our children who were endangered, taken right out from under our noses from arguably one of the safest places in Great Britain, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Today, it was a hub, a popular haunt, a place where witches and wizards visit in their everyday lives that was the setting for the latest devastation. Today, one place one may never worry about visiting was nearly completely torn apart.
Hooded figures appeared in the packed streets and began to terrorize shoppers and passersby as well as stores and their employees. The group responsible is believed to be some or all of the Death Eaters although aurors have not confirmed this. Aurors were called in and arrived just in time to fire back at the suspects. Some shops have been destroyed and others have suffered some damage. Many injuries are being reported but no deaths at this time. All planning to go to Diagon Alley in the next few days are encouraged to stay home while the shops are repaired and evidence is searched for.
More information will be reported as soon as it becomes available.
Sleekeazy is now recalling all products from their VeelaBeauty line. The products claim to give your hair a shine “as fine as a veela’s” but have been reported to have cause hairloss and discoloration. It it advised to stop using these products. Sleekeazy has promised full refunds to those who mail back their bottles to them.
Earlier this week a London man reported that cases of butterbeer had gone missing in his home while he was sleeping. Charles Bowdon said that sometime between the times of 9am and 5am someone broke into his home and stole the cases. Nothing of value seems to be messed with. Anyone with information on this should owl the Magical Law Enforcement Squad.
The Comet Trading Company have reported that top secret designs of their proposed model The Comet 360 have been taken from their research lab. The broom was expected for release in the next two years after intense safety testing. There was no evidence left behind for the persons involved in this break in. Investigators believe this was done by more than one person given the security place on their research building.
The Magical Law Enforcement Squad have released the name of the London man who was caught confounding muggles out of thousands of pounds. Desmond Bickle, a London native, has reportedly been charming muggles out of their money for years. Investigators finally witnessed his acts in a sting operation. “I’m not surprised. I’ve been owling for years about my things going missing! I’m just glad he’ll finally be caught for what he was doing! It’s endangering the secrecy between our world!” said a neighbor who wished to remain anonymous.
Aurors have taken into custody Blaise Zabini in relation to a gruesome set of mass murders committed earlier this morning. Details of the murders will not been released to the general public until the victims’ families have been notified, but the death count is anticipated to be high. One witness to the aftermath stated that, “… [Some of the] bodies were unrecognizable. It was gruesome, the byproduct of a mad man.” Aurors were not directly available for comment.
Zabini, a lawyer, has represented over the years several high-profile suspected criminals. His victories in the courtroom outweigh his defeats, leading one frequent rival to suggest underhanded play. There is no proof to support this theory, though his connections within the wizarding world are impossible to deny.
A close friend, Alaric Montague, owner of several exclusive clubs throughout England, was made available for comment following news of his friend’s arrest and subsequent incarceration. His hurt and confusion are evident within the shockingly blue orbs that sit upon prominent cheekbones, blond tresses creating a halo-effect about his angelic face, as he, obviously overwhelmed by emotion, manages a short statement. “Blaise was a long-time friend and confidant. I am shocked by these allegations and hope that, while the facts support the conclusions made by the Aurors, this is somehow one massive misunderstanding.”
Zabini is being held in Azkaban where he will await his trial. It is so far unclear as to what may have prompted his actions. Attempts to question Zabini have turned up no evidence and reports are that he appears to have, “… Completely lost it, ranting and raving about nothing inparticular.” One source claimed, with exasperation, that questioning turned into Zabini displaying his knowledge of the alphabet song. The defense may be hoping to use insanity as a defense and an associate of Zabini’s, who will remain nameless for posterity sake, suggested that, “… [Zabini] may be faking, playing up the idea of a lunatic to escape punishment.” Another coworker was overheard saying that, “He was always mixed up with the bad sorts. It’s no surprise he offed those people. Guilty by association.”
All that can be known for certain is that Zabini is being held in Azkaban and will remain there until his trial. There are no other suspects at this time.
This season has started off with a few killer matches, the first being the talk of the Quidditch community – the recent game between the Cannons and the Arrows. The Cannons beater twin duo Phyllis and Ulric Wing kicked off the match with a double-bludger to the head of Arrows seeker Ambience Valentein, who was out within the first few seconds of the game, a record for the Wing twins. Valentein was replaced with reserve Spellman Swick, a delightful newcomer who seems eager to prove himself. Less-than-experienced Cannons seeker Spruce Littlesteen gave him a run for his galleons, though, and it appears that such galleons are in reality leprechaun gold because both seekers failed to catch the snitch within a twelve-hour window. Arrows chasers Amanda Overton and Ryuichiro Takeda dominated the field, an unstoppable team that did would have won the game had it not been for the shocker ending. Cannons chaser Karen Clint made 90% of the Cannons’ goals for the entire game, but in a surprise move Valentein apparently regained consciousness and was subbed back into the game. She quickly caught the snitch, which ended the game, but the Arrows surprisingly lost despite gaining the snitch thanks to Clint’s expertise, which barely pulled the Cannons over and gave them a win of 190-170.
The other games in this first round of eliminations were not so exciting, with many of the games being fairly cut-and-dry. The Falcons vs Magpies game showed a disappointing loss for the Falcons despite the majority of the Magpies’ players being largely inexperienced in professional Quidditch. New to the Magpies this year is keeper Atwell Sinclair, a young but surprisingly good player who (by luck, in my opinion) caught the majority of slightly-more-experienced Falcons chaser Oliver Fulton’s shots. Fulton, one of the youngest chasers on the Falcons team, was well-guarded by talented beater Everett Slater, who has one hell of an aim and almost managed to take out Sinclair himself but missed by a unicorn tail hair. Falcons seeker Sebastian Montague barely lost the snitch to the Magpies’ secret weapon Tabitha Peters, and the game ended in favour of the Magpies, 180-140.
The Wanderers defeated the Tornados in a disappointing match where Tornados seeker Amy Chang was overpowered by the beastly Iris Keller, who caught the snitch for the Wanderers and made them victors with a score of 200-130. The Wasps were defeated in a quick game against the Catapults 160-110 despite an admirable effort to dominate the bludgers from Wasps beater Rathe McGrath and the always-beautiful technique from Wasps keeper Nathan King, and the Harpies lost to the Bats in a very close match despite Harpies beaters Gwen Willoughby’s return and Krystela Hextor’s expertise. The Bats won 170-160 and also sent Harpies beater Holly Gabriels to the hospital tent with every bone broken in her entire left arm, subbing in Stella Wanderer to add to the beater impressiveness. Puddlemere United did not disappoint in a somewhat expected win against the Kestrels, with Beth Golden-Keisi back despite the recent birth of her newest child. Newcomers Louis McQueen and Gabriel Monaghan joined the Kestrels’ ranks as keeper and beater, respectively, and although Puddlemere won 190-150, McQueen and Monaghan proved to be promising.
The recently-rebanded Bangers played Cork and apparently the Bangers managed to keep the sherry and Daisyroot Draught away from their players because the Bangers won by an impressive landslide, even though Cork seeker Isaac Michaelson caught the snitch within four hours – 210-160. Yorkshire beat Pride of Portree despite Portree seeker Matt Wilson’s quick action, Yorkshire seeker Izumi Young sliding in just underneath him and ending the game with a small score of 160-130. Ilkley lost to Lancanshire with a pitiful score of 170-110 and Barnston is set to match Lancanshire next week.
League director Phineas Watson promised us it would be an exciting season, and that’s definitely a promise he can keep. The next round of eliminations is set to have the following matches: Magpies vs Cannons, Wanderers vs Catapults, Bats vs Puddlemere, and Bangers vs Yorkshire.
- Feige Jarkeni
Over the past couple of weeks, Care of Magical Creatures Representatives have been tending to a number of household calls, which have suggested that the local bowtruckle population of the United Kingdom is now at a higher rate than ever before. The Ministry confirmed suspicions yesterday morning, announcing that the bowtruckle population of the UK has increased by 163% in the past three years. Apart from the statistics, exact numbers were not released, although they are expected to be in the high thousands. According to Authority Spokesperson, Blake N. White, there is no definite answer to this spike. No cause to this increase has been stated, although botanists attribute the rise to growing Wizard Communutiy and Muggle preoccupation with environmental causes, planting more trees, and giving the bowtruckles access to cleaner water sources.
More commonly found in the countrysides of Germany and Scandanavia, the bowtruckles have been popping up more prevalently around English grounds, spreading from the West into UK countryside and cities. They’re tiny creatures, found in any common tree, and mirror the appearance of its habitat. They’re made up of bark and twigs, which serves well as a natural method of concealmeant, making them often hard to spot. The wood of these tree-homes, however, is often used for wand making. Ollivander’s has reported no such shortages in wands as of yet, and tells us that the public need not be worried, and that there is “absolutely no need to panic.”
Most locals seem to agree, or are largely unaware or uninterested in the creatures—understandably, since their presence is not often felt. Still, there have been some complaints.
“I hate those bowtruckle beasties,” Gladys Over of Sussex says of the incident. “They were munching on my petunias, so I gave one a slight knock round the wooden bottom and sent him on his way.”
The Daily Prophet in no way condones the following advice in dealing with the bowtruckle population spike; however, they advise the community to stay vigilant, perhaps instructing children to stay out of trees for the time being on the rare chance they might encounter one. If not, the animals can be distracted and caught with wood lice or fairy eggs, two of the bowtruckle’s favourite foods. This is largely unnecessary, nevertheless. Even in the case of direct contact, the bowtruckle is a gentle creature by nature, and unlikely to be violent unless provoked or directly approached. Experts agree: they do not expect the bowtruckle trickle to have much of an affect on daily life; nor should those at home.