The Daily Prophet

  • entries
  • comments
  • views

About this blog

Wizarding Britain's number one source for news and information since 1743.

Entries in this blog

Daily Prophet

Missing Auror Found Catatonic

Hollis Keen, a 20-year veteran of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement who disappeared over a year ago, was found unresponsive on the shore of River Tweed near Birgham, Scotland. Authorities have not disclosed whether the Auror was working on a case at the time of her disappearance. Harry Potter, Head of the Auror Department, declined to make further comments.


Ms. Keen’s mother, Audrey Keen, released a statement this morning: “Mr. Potter’s treatment of my daughter’s case appalls me. Aurors risk their lives every day for the good of everyone, and as their leader, Mr. Potter should have better measures to protect his staff rather than nontransparent ones to shield his reputation and political aspirations. This also applies to our Minister for Magic, who continued to cut funds over the years even as crimes rose. If the failed break-in at Hogwarts last year is any indication, it’s that our Aurors on the ground could be even more successful with additional resources, all of which is too late for my Hollis.”


Keen was admitted to the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. A source indicated that her condition is stable.


Mr. and Mrs. Keen have released a reward notice of 500 galleons for productive tips regarding their daughter’s former disappearance. This joins their 17-year-old reward notice for information regarding their son Amias Keen’s murder during his tenure as an Auror.




Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet

Anti-Muggleborn Posters Found in Hogsmeade

HOGSMEADE--As students head to Hogsmeade for their first weekend in the town of the year, reports of posters with anti-muggleborn messages have surfaced. The posters, which residents first noticed early morning Thursday on the block near Madame Puddifoot's, bear an ominous message that students who are not of pureblood heritage will be barred from returning to Hogwarts, and includes an address for both students, and local muggleborn residents, to turn in their wands. The posters are signed by the Skull and Bones Society, which Magical Law Enforcement Department insiders claim is a reference to the Dark Mark that Voldemort's followers marked themselves with.


Hogsmeade officials that were reached for comment urged the public to remain calm, and refused to speculate on whether the posters were a malicious prank or a warning from an anti-muggleborn group. They added that the Hogsmeade weekends that occur regularly throughout the school year would go on according to schedule.





Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet

Auror Department to Receive First Budget Increase in Two Decades

Although the wizarding world has seen its fair share of ups and downs over the past twenty-five years, there has been a constant through it all: The Auror Department budget.

Twenty-five years ago, a string of disappearances rocked the wizarding community, and immense pressure was put on the Auror department by the Minister of Magic to put an end to these crimes and catch the culprits responsible for the kidnappings of distinguished wizards; pressure from the very same Minister of Magic who had announced budget cuts earlier that month. 


Harry Potter once commented that he felt as though ‘his hands were tied’ in regards to his ranks being spread so thin. “I wish I had enough Aurors to patrol Hogsmeade and Hogwarts, but it’s just not within the budget,” he'd said. 


Well, it looks like his prayers have been answered over two decades later. The Auror department has received a budget increase as announced by the Ministry this month, allowing Potter to hire and train new Aurors, with the purpose of protecting our community more than ever before. This will certainly help as they continue tracking down any of the remaining Death Eaters known to have escaped from the Battle of Hogsmeade and the infiltration of Hogwarts just over two years ago. The group is rumored to have been disbanded, but experts are certain there are stragglers out there biding their time, and Potter's regime will be ready. 


There has also been buzz about the Auror Office's revamping of the Werewolf Capture Unit. This unit, tasked with the capture of werewolves deemed to be a threat, has always been handled by the Beast Division (and dreadfully under-funded in the past), however, Beast Division Head, Casseus Cronus, is said to have been approached by Potter weeks ago for his cooperation in bulking the ranks and up-training its current members with Auror specialization. It is unknown whether this is an attempt to calm the thousands of witches and wizards who still owl in about their anger surrounding the catastrophe at Hogwarts with the Ward family, but some believe it is a necessity regardless. Neither Cronus or Potter were able to be reached for comment.


No matter the reason, the Ministry of Magic cannot put the public safety at risk any longer. More patrols have been promised to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and the neighboring villiage, Hogsmeade. Godric’s Hollow and other wizarding villages should also see an increase in undercover patrols. The general budget for the rest of the Magical Law Enforcement departments remain unchanged for now. 

Daily Prophet

Illegal Portkey and Attempted Kidnapping, Saved By Auror

Crystal Fountain Park, a typically peaceful and safe place for wizard children to play and socialize, was the scene of a potentially dark crime this week. An illegal portkey with a foreign destination was dropped for the park's children to find. No less than nine young children were soon ripped from safety through the portkey. The two men involved were taken into custody and interrogated by the Auror Department, then later released with fines close to 1000 galleons and orders for community service.


"I caught wind of it and took action as fast as I could," said Auror Richard Fowler, who was first to the scene and made the arrests with ease as the perpetrators seemed to freeze under his icy glare. "I can't stand [people] who mess with kids, they won't get far as long as I'm around. They would still be rotting in there if it were up to me." 


Richard Fowler, whose demeanor is as cool as his mustache, has been on the special force for 30+ years, and takes his job very seriously -- as one would expect an Auror to do. We asked his opinions on suggestions that the Auror Office only rushed to the scene when they heard Potter's family was one of the children involved:


"It doesn't matter the name," he responded with irritation. He hadn't heard the reports as they were told through the Wizarding Wireless that day, but he didn't seem pleased as some of the misleading reports were quoted out loud. "Whether you're some Golden Potter or John Muggle, my job is to uphold the law and protect the people and that's what I did. That's what I do. Anyone who says otherwise can [redacted]."


The Daily Prophet is happy to report that this story turned out well and that children of all backgrounds are safe. Our hero came to the rescue, and we can only hope this means good news in the future. Read on for news on the Auror Department's budget increase.

Daily Prophet

Part-Vampire Rights Group Announces Formation

B.L.O.O.D. has registered as a nonprofit group with the Wizengamot Administration Services. While werewolves, veelas, giants, and goblins have historically been well-represented in the Wizarding world's nonprofit sector, part-vampires have not historically enjoyed the same representation. According to B.L.O.O.D.'s founder, Amorentia Bloodfang, it was important to bring attention to the unique challenges that are faced by part-vampires, such as the fact that they do not have the same magical powers as other part-humans, locking them out of all wizarding schools and many of the jobs that require an education from schools like Hogwarts. 


However, outspoken pureblood activists Michael and Insley Jacobin have raised concerns over a nonprofit group forming to protect part-vampire rights. "What if they want to be allowed into Hogwarts even though they do not have magical abilities?" they asked when reached for comment. The Jacobins have lobbied against the creation of the group, stressing that they believe that part-vampires are not a big enough group to need their own nonprofit, and that they are too far removed from mainstream magical society to deserve this privilege.




Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet

Death Eaters No More?

In the wake of a lethal Death Eater attack on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the nearby village of Hogsmeade, the Department of Magical Law Enforcement is calling for celebration.


On October 4 a group of Death Eaters conducted a two-pronged attack in the Scottish Highlands causing immense property damage in Hogsmeade and injuring numerous Hogwarts students. Lucretia Sheffield, a veteran auror and mother of one, has been named as a casualty.


Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Dorian Metcalfe, calls the weekend a victory in spite of the cost.


"In addition to those aurors were forced to kill to prevent further harm, several Death Eaters were successfully apprehended and taken into custody. While the department mourns the loss of an auror and feels for her family, we are also aware this is the potentially the greatest victory we have seen over these violent forces in many years."


According to Ms Metcalfe, these arrests may be the key to dismantling the Death Eater organisation, which has been terrorising the wizarding community for decades. Other sources claim the majority of Death Eaters were neutralised in this encounter and this is already the end of the Death Eaters, but Ms Metcalfe declined to comment.


Donations for the family of Lucretia Sheffield can be mailed directly to the Auror Office in London.

Daily Prophet

Flamel Flees Failing Faculty

Headmistress Arnaude Flamel has departed from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in what the school's board of governors is calling "a mutual decision", in spite of claims she was fired for performance issues.


Flamel's tenure at the leading magical school was plagued with minor controversy, but only the most recent Death Eater attack on the facility resulted in significant pressure on the school board to end her employment. A well-known and accomplished potioneer, Flamel was brought in to improve the safety record at Hogwarts, but critics say danger to students only increased under her administration. Some claim she was even personally connected to key figures in the latest attack and that the school must revisit what appears to be a policy of hiring or promoting only those from old pureblood families into leadership positions.


Arnaude Flamel declined an interview with this paper but released a short statement asserting that she "is making a mutually agreeable move to focus on [her] personal research and work for publication, leaving the tutelage of future generations to rest, as it should, with those who possess a true passion for education." However, sources close to her say she was preparing for another school year as recently as one week ago.


No replacement has been appointed for the position. The board intends to take its time searching for an appropriate candidate, and the existing Deputy Headmaster, Theobald Gawkrodger, will act as an interim head during this period. Purity discrimination groups have been quick to point out this is yet another Head of School from an established pureblood family, but the education and parent advocates who were Flamel's most vocal opponents are cautiously satisfied.


A spokesperson for education reform group Growing Fruitful Futures said "GFF is happy to see Arnaude Flamel replaced with an educator who has given Hogwarts a fifteen year commitment. We hope the permanent appointment will reflect the same attention to experience which is relevant to pedagogy and school administration, not just magical research, and are optimistic about the future of Hogwarts as a premier educational facility."

Daily Prophet

Death Eater Trial Date Finalized: Justice Incoming

The date for the final trial and sentencing of confirmed Death Eaters Eadric Carter and Otis Egan has been set for Monday, July 13th 2037. Both men have been held in custody following their arrests last fall during a failed break-in at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Carter and Egan each face charges and subsequent penalties from infractions that range from breaking and entering and illegal use of magicked objects, to numerous counts of reckless child endangerment. Egan is also charged with the murder of Lucretia Sheffield, former Auror, through the use of an Unforgivable Curse.


While this is the first charge held against Carter, whose father happens to be a highly respected professor at the aforementioned school, Egan has several prior infractions on record. Professor Carter declined the Daily Prophet’s request to provide a comment on his son’s upcoming trial, citing that he is focused on the needs of his family at this time.




Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet

Parents for Progress Push for Change

Parents' groups and education advocates are calling for major reforms to safety procedures at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the wake of another devastating Death Eater attack.


Headmistress Arnaude Flamel was brought in four years ago and is generally considered to have improved safety and security at the school. However, the attack in early October, in which children were severely injured and an auror was killed on school grounds, has led to claims that her security record is based purely on coincidence.


Founder of advocacy group Parents For Progress, Mallory Selwyn, claims Flamel's tenure has actually harmed students, rather than protecting them.


"When our schools lock up students in the name of sheltering them they become little more than jails. A child cannot learn in an environment of constant fear, whether it be of punishment or external attack, and they cannot learn to care for themselves in the wider community if they have been cloistered away in an environment which would sacrifice education, freedom and progress for a hollow sense of security."


Parents for Progress has been an outspoken critic of the Hogwarts Board of Governors, Arnaude Flamel and prior head Arthur Weasley, but formerly supportive groups such as Families Protecting True Magic and the Mandatory Registration Movement have also publicly expressed concerns about the headmistress' ability to live up expectations.


In an official statement the Hogwarts Board of Governors has announced that it supports its administration team and has no current plans to remove any staff. Independent sources claim that at least one member of the board is scouting candidates to replace both the headmistress and deputy headmaster.




Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet

Unicorn Born, Joins Puppy Siblings for First Steps

Staff at the Berkshire Magical Wildlife Sanctuary are pleased to announce their newest arrival, born just moments after sunrise on New Year's Day. Winky, the eldest and certainly proudest female unicorn on the grounds, has given birth to a gorgeous silver-haired foal weighing in at a whopping 116 kg. The foal's name was chosen through a public poll released last May, granting this unicorn baby the name of Starfire Glitterbelly (with Unicorn McUnicornface coming in close second and Dude-icorn taking third place). Berkshire states that further name choices will be made internally, but are thrilled with the amount of participation the poll received.


Sources from the highly respected free roam reserve say the birth was a beautiful sight, made all the better by a bright rainbow hovering overhead throughout the event. Also joining Starfire's debut were his six young canine siblings, who ran and played happily beside the foal as he took a step for the first time. Staff explains that the puppies suddenly appeared on the grounds weeks ago and began following Winky around as if she were their caretaker. Winky soon began returning their nuzzles and the odd family has been inseparable ever since.


Berkshire invites everyone to pay a visit to see Winky, Starfire, and the puppies this weekend, and encourages all to bring a galleon or two for donation! Sources say it'll be worth it, and collectively go, "Aww!"

Daily Prophet

Part-Vampire Rehabilitation Sparks Controversy

A secretive private rehabilitation facility in rural Cumbria has shocked humans and non-humans alike by revealing its purpose is the rehabilitation of part-vampires to function as human in the magical community.
Vasile Petrescu, founder of the Petrescu Rehabilitation Centre, appeared on the wireless this week announcing the first graduates of his year-long programme. Petrescu stated his aim was "to allow part-vampires to disengage from the vampire community and rise above their baser instincts to fully integrate into human society." He claims his three graduates, whose names he has withheld, are now indistinguishable from humans, and that by this time next year at least ten part-vampires will have completed his treatment.
Part-vampire advocacy group B.L.O.O.D. released a short statement in response to the news. "B.L.O.O.D. is unsuprised by Andrei Petrescu's bigotry, but we are surprised and disappointed that multiple part-vampires have felt isolated and unsupported to the point of paying a large sum of money to have an integral part of their identity erased. Both the human and vampire communities have failed these people and driven them into the arms of a predatory fraud."
"All my patients come to me of their own volition," responded Petrescu in an exclusive comment to The Daily Prophet. "I provide a service which cannot be found anywhere else, and as long as there are part-vampires looking for a positive change in their lives, I will provide it."

Daily Prophet

Ministry Urges Public to Speak Up

In a statement to the press on Tuesday, Ministry officials have urged citizens to do their civic duty and report any hint of black market wand dealing or fake wand selling to the authorities.


"The Department of Magical Law Enforcement encourages anyone to come forth with any information regarding the illegal distribution of wands and the creation and selling of counterfeit wands as this can pose a danger to those involved. We advise those who are intending to make wand purchases to do so through trusted sources only. Do not attempt to acquire wands from unofficial dealers, and report any who attempt to sell to you to the authorities immediately. Those who are found to be distributing wands which have been illegally obtained and/or created and sold in a purposefully misleading manner will face criminal charges."


This statement comes at the tail end of reports on the recent break-in at Ollivander's in Diagon Alley which is still reported to be closed to the public pending investigation. It is rumored that there have been countless tips passed on to the Ministry from all over the country, however no arrests have been made as of yet. Further investigations are sure to follow as magical law enforcement prepares to take allegations seriously.

Daily Prophet

Goblin Tradition Meets New Competition

The opening of the first Wizards First Trust branch in London this month has incited new controversy in the ongoing debate about its stated intent to employ exclusively human staff.
Spokesperson for Wizards First Trust, Reginald Kneen, has described the new entrant to the banking sector as "the first and only truly viable alternative for customers who value selectivity and discretion when it comes to who handles their finances, and want to work with a face they can trust."
"WizFirst is committed to providing genuine competition in banking and consumer finance, which can only improve the customer experience across the board," Kneen says. Critics maintain that the organisation is capitalising on fear and discrimination to market their services and to diminish the role of goblins in mainstream wizarding society. Representatives of the bank declined to comment on whether part- or non-humans are able to open accounts.
In spite of the business' contentious reputation, WizFirst reported exceeding its expectations for new accounts in its first month, and has already begun planning to expand into Europe.

Daily Prophet


Social Elite and Hotel Mogul, Alaric Montague, was quietly reported missing nearly a week ago.  A source within the Magical Law Enforcement Department says that despite the suspicion of foul play, the influence of the Montague family has left a blanketed moratorium on media coverage of the ongoing manhunt. At this point in time, our sources indicate that the possibility of finding the billionaire alive are grim.


Montague’s fortune was amassed through the chain of luxurious wizarding hotels across the world, including Italy, France, Germany, and here in our very own London. The Montague brand is known for catering to the elite and famous and with the introduction of the various Gentleman’s Clubs, Alaric has been named among the Top Ten Wealthiest Wizards in the World.  It is no wonder that the Governors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry welcomed him with open arms, no doubt hoping that he’d bring an open wallet. Of all the Governors, Montague was one of the most vocally supportive of Arnaude Flamel assuming the post of Headmistress of the prestigious wizarding school.


Early last Friday, Montague was reported missing by his wife, Melania, after failing to return home from a mysterious business trip to Transylvania.  The Montague chain could not confirm that there was discussion of opening a hotel in the area and no one seemed to have any information what the meeting he was to have attended entailed.  Our sources report that when Montague’s office was searched that it was found in disarray indicating a struggle.


The Daily Prophet reached out to his son, Sebastian Montague, the Professional Quidditch Seeker for the Falmouth Falcons, but received no comment.

The family has asked that their privacy be respected, but our source in the Magical Law Enforcement department would like to ask that if the public has any information, they should report it immediately.

Daily Prophet

Shackling: Is Flamel Pushing the Limits?

The current commander-in-chief at Hogwarts, Headmistress Arnaude Flamel, has done well to ensure the safety of her students from outside forces, but who’s protecting the students from internal threats? Since Flamel has stepped into power at Hogwarts, rumours have been floating about regarding the nature of her disciplinary methods. Shackling, what many students and parents originally thought to be a scare tactic to keep the children in line, have become a real, tangible, and archaically cruel punishment at Hogwarts.


At the end of the school year, three third year girls were caught sneaking into Flamel’s office on a dare. As punishment, they were shackled to the ceilings of the Great Hall, publicly humiliated in front of their peers and made out as examples for the rest of the day. The shackles were additionally charmed to burn their wrists if they moved too much.


This type of corporal punishment, popular back in the 1800s, seems outdated in today’s modern world. “I can’t even begin to describe what kind of damages a corporal punishment of this size does to a child’s psyche,” Rose Willoughby, healer, child psychologist, and author of The Delicate Magical Mind, lamented during a sit-down interview with me. “Even the muggles know better. It really begs the question which society, magical or muggle, is more advanced if this type of punishment is deemed acceptable at Hogwarts.”


We were lucky enough to get in contact with one of the aforementioned girls’ mother, who will be kept anonymous for her child’s safety. She was, predictably, outraged when she heard the news: “She claims to care about the welfare of our children, but how good can her security be if three thirteen-year-old girls are capable of breaching it? These barbaric punishments have nothing to do with protecting our children and everything to do with distracting us from the key issue: what is Flamel hiding that those girls accidentally stumbled into? The whole thing stinks of a cover up. I, for one, will be in contact with the board of governors and I urge every Hogwarts parent to do the same.” Unfortunately, this is not the first shackling since Flamel’s promotion, only the first that has reach our ears. Perhaps your child has already been shackled once and has been too scared to tell you. Then again, how much do we really know about what goes on at Hogwarts these days?


The Daily Prophet has previously celebrated the achievements of Headmistress Flamel. While we do commend her on maintaining the safety of our children, we are also committed to reporting the truth. The truth is your child could be the next to be shackled to the ceilings of the Great Hall. The new school year is fast approaching, so as you send your child off for another riveting year at Hogwarts, remember this: While we can rest well knowing our children are safe from Death Eaters and other outside threats at Hogwarts, who will keep them safe from the heartless hands of Headmistress Flamel?

Daily Prophet


Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is sad to note the passing of one of their beloved dueling officiators, Prunella Betty Tibbles (age 202). Born in an era prior to many wizards and witches of the current generation, she is thought to have passed away peacefully in her sleep on July 30th. While her success as a dueling officiator remains in question, her affection for the students is without doubt, as she was commonly seen knitting them sweaters and scarves to keep warm in the winter. She was also known for her crusade against candy, constantly preaching the benefits of a healthy diet containing fruits and vegetables. Of her esteemed colleagues at Hogwarts, Mr Rakesh Bhaduri offered the following statement: “Tibbles was crazy, but in a good way, I guess.”


It is yet to be determined whether or not she has any surviving relatives, though rumors exist of a past romance between Prunella and former Headmaster of Hogwarts, Fytherly Undercliffe. Please contact the Daily Prophet by owl or mirror if you have any information.


Flowers can be sent to Hogwarts’ School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Funeral arrangements will be determined and details released by school staff at a later date.

Daily Prophet

Gringotts' Vaults Plundered!!!

In a shocking turn of events, a band of exceptionally skilled wizards broke into Gringotts last night. Minimal staff were on duty and were simultaneously knocked out by well-aimed stupefying charms. The thieves proceeded to swarm the underground vaults, equipped with magical explosives that allowed them to blow the vault doors into smithereens. It is unclear how many thieves were involved in the operation, but it was enough to overcome the various security measures Gringotts has traditionally implemented to protect their clients’ wealth, such as guard dragons.  By the time the authorities arrived on the scene, the thieves had disappeared into the night, leaving behind meagre scraps of evidence.


The damage inflicted upon the bank was severe and many families, including the Paddocks, Bagshots, Pomfreys, Yates and Lightwoods, had their vaults raided. The losses that were incurred by these individuals varied from one to the other. Some, unfortunately, had their entire vaults emptied. The victims of this crime were understandably frustrated, some taking it better than others.


The ancient vault of the Roux family was also broken into. Ministry of Magic employee Edward Roux only had this to say: “I will not rest until the perpetrator is caught.” He refused to answer any other questions on the matter. His wife, Rosalia Rovigatti, seemed unaffected by the loss and simply stated, “Some of us are smarter than to place our trust entirely in a system that has already proven vulnerable.”


The Goodfellows, in contrast, appear to take this in stride. Their losses were comparatively minor as their vault only had “a few galleons” and “a surprisingly large collection of enchanted muggle items”. When interviewed, Lionel Goodfellow mentioned that he would like his fellow wizards to be on the lookout for a pewter statue of his great great grandfather that responds to the name Gaius Goodfellow and a unicorn hair scarf, both prized family items.


Other victims reported feeling distressed about the increased difficulty in supporting their families. Among them is Vijay Toor, who said, “My eldest daughter just graduated from Hogwarts and we wanted to help her out. But now that our money has been taken by these blasted thieves, we’re all worried that she’ll struggle.” Another worried parent, Henry Stewart, had this to say: “I hope whoever is responsible for this is caught quickly and punished accordingly. My wife and I both worked very hard to earn this money and we have three kids to support.”


It is unknown how the Gringotts staff plan on dealing with this incident. When the paper attempted to approach the head goblin for his thoughts on the matter, he refused to comment, stating that any more revelations would impede investigations. His silence did not help in soothing the rest of the wizarding population as some of them are now proposing theories that threaten to besmirch Gringotts’ reputation. Could it possibly be an inside job? How in Merlin’s name did they manage to bypass all those security measures otherwise? Is this evidence that they’ve fallen behind other wizarding banks?


Watch out for more developments in future editions of the Daily Prophet!

Daily Prophet

Rats Out For Daycare Jobs

After months of suspicions over the standards of the Pre-Hogwarts Primary kitchens, reports have been received concerning the most recent, rather chatty pupils residing in the school’s cooking facilities.

The Office of Magical Health Inspection has been on record stating that “the issue had not been brought to their attention until very recently,” and that the office’s chief inspectors would be resolving the issue as soon as possible. However, the Prophet has been receiving news about the pests for months now, recalling in particular the complaints of the mother of one Delphine Dinkleberry, a student at the primary school who brought one of the rats home after claiming that its voice sounded just like her Uncle Rudolph’s.

“I wouldn’t let my daughter near cafeteria food to save my life,” the mother proclaimed firmly to reporters, surrounded by many of her peers. “Especially not when there’s vermin lying in wait quite literally asking my child to carry its diseases.”

Among the chief concerns regarding this case is how the rats started talking in the first place. Theories include but are not limited to a silencing potion gone wrong meant to be distributed by the current heads of staff at the school and the possibility that the infamous Master Yoshi of Muggle Ninja Turtle fame has finally released his offspring into the public community.

The Misses Blythe and McManus were unavailable for comment on the situation. As were the rats.

Daily Prophet

Riots "All in Good Fun," Fans Say

APPLEBY — Quidditch fans take note: if you’re looking for a spectacular game, a plethora of blood, and a good chance that you’ll come home with a broken nose, go to an Arrows v Wasps match. The statistics for Tuesday’s game between the long-time rivals were unprecedented, and we’re not talking about the score: By the end of the game, every player was injured (including every alternate), and there were a record number of spectator casualties–both from rabid fans and player intervention.

Whether the players intended to injure select audience members is of much debate. Arrows Chaser Amanda Overton’s rumoured ex-lover was reportedly in the crowd, which might have been the source of one particular quaffle chucked toward the crowd, though the rest were arguably in-game affairs. Overton and fellow Chaser Ryuichiro Takeda are known for their ridiculous throwing range, and when combined with teammate Baldwin Dumay, the trio is violently unstoppable, the pride of everyone from the Cumbria area (btw, the Jarkeni clan says hi).

Dubbed the “Bloody Brigade” by their fans, the trio is notorious for using quaffles illegally (ingeniously) as bludgers halfway between the passer and the recipient, adding an extra threat in cooperation with the Arrows’ beating team. Unfortunately for the Arrows’ legal team, this also translates into occasionally underestimating their strength and shooting the quaffle directly into the open arms (and face) of an unfortunate (or fortunate), dedicated fan.

Such incidents occurred no fewer than five separate times at Tuesday’s match, which resulted in a couple of riots amongst fans who were jealous of such special treatment. Wasps fans, who tried at first to pretend they were above it all, broke out into separate riots halfway through the match–or what we saw of it, anyhow. After the fifth hit proved to be no guarantee that the violence would dim down as the match progressed, Quidditch officials ended the game and partnered with local authourities to break everyone up and take statements. Ministry officials have been assured that the violence was simply “all in good fun,” according to one grinning fan with a loose tooth or two.

The fan continued on to imply that he only showed up to Quidditch matches for the fights, which, while ignorant at the concept of how amazing Quidditch is, is admirable. “It’s the thrill of the chase, no matter how you spin it,” the fan, who wishes to remain nameless, said. “I love not knowing what’s going to happen next with the chickens. Yodeling. Pancakes on a Pluto trombone. Wizengamot.” He then started mumbling other incoherent phrases, and was collected by a concerned/annoyed Mediwitch who tsked loudly at him.

The good-fun theory was reinforced by amiable pats-on-the-back by previously rioting folks. Ministry officials estimated about 4,000 galleons done in damage to the stadium, personnel, and guests.

Team captains have supposedly disciplined their teams to prevent further incidents,but Quidditch officials have banned the teams from playing each other until further notise. The game ended officially on a no-score draw, but everyone knows the Arrows would have won, anyway.

By Feige Jarkeni

Daily Prophet

Harpies Declare War with Infallible Reorganisation Strategy

The Holyhead Harpies have been on a losing streak since the beginning of the fall Quidditch season, possibly due to their newest addition as a Beater-Chaser swing, Kate Davies. They suffered a supremely embarrassing loss in their most recent game against the Falcons, bringing this season’s win-loss ratio to 5:1, but in the game against the Montrose Magpies they played last Thursday at the Hardson Stadium in Holyhead apparently meant pulling out all the stops.

The Harpies pulled a fast one at the Magpies game, switching up their players’ positions. Beaters Krystela Hextor and Stella Wanderer (and swing Davies) served as Chasers while Chasers Laila Froglegs and Gweneviere Hogstader served as Beaters. Keeper Cayden Harlow Murray was the only one who seemed to keep her position, but after a couple of hours Captain Hextor called a time-out and swapped herself out for Murray. Most notably was Chaser Lilia McEvans, who–though she had hardly ever played anything but Chaser in any other match prior to this one–was thrown in as Seeker.

At first, this reporter thought this move was remarkably stupid. But as the game went on and the Murray-Wanderer-Davies team shot goal after goal, this reporter was slightly more convinced that this was not stupidity: this was the first sign of genius that had arrived in the professional Quidditch world since the Plumpton Pass.

“It was a sort of reset,” explained Froglegs after the match, facing a stadium of tear-stained faces of diehard Harpies fans. “We’d been in a rut, and we pushed out of it, because we’re innovators. We’re thinkers in addition to athletes. We’re the foundation of brilliance, and the Magpies are sure not to forget it.”

Although the Magpies–in particular the Magnificent Chaser Duo consisting of Rose Weasley and Keira Paddock–managed to score a flurry of goals, consistently outscoring the Harpies right when the Harpies had taken the advantage, McEvans managed to snag the snitch at the last moment via Wronski Feint under the nose of an rather baffled (and possibly furious) Lellybelly Thanrion–ending the game 270-140 in an unexpected Harpies victory. Thanrion, who also plays for the England National Team, was not available for comment following the match.

“I thought it was the quaffle,” said McEvans.

Spoken like the words of a true warrior. McEvans tends to give off the airheaded appearance, but don’t let her dazed expressions fool you on the pitch. Her Seeking work was quite the stroke of genius coming from the Harpies, and it’s clear that this up-and-coming Seeker simply doesn’t care to share her secrets.

“What secrets?” said McEvans, with her signature stealthy baffled look, but this reporter knows better, and Quidditch fans ought to pick up on it, too. Certainly, the Magpies will learn not to underestimate this newfound Seeking genius.


By Feige Jarkeni

Daily Prophet

The Hunt for Rogue Santa

LONDON - Recent reports about a real life Santa have been crossing the desks of Accidental Magic Reversal Squad agents for the past week, with no sign of stopping anytime soon.

The first came several weeks ago, when an impersonator at Harrod’s managed to shoot a silent Instant Scalping Hex at the mother of a five-year-old muggle, who was heard muttering to the wizard in disguise that all he wanted was for his “Mummy to quit spending so much time on her hair in the mornings and make [him] a proper breakfast.” Mr. Claus had apparated from the scene before the AMRS and Obliviators arrived.

Since then, many other instances have sprouted across the city. A collector dressed in the red, white-trimmed garb was sighted shouting lewd comments about Rudolph the beloved reindeer and where exactly he could shove his nose before sending several Cheering Charms out into a crowd of nonmagical citizens waiting for the oncoming morning train. At a local drugstore, medications were replaced with expired Fizzing Whizbees, hospitalizing no less than three people. Those folk have since been cured at St. Mungo’s and had their memories appropriately modified, though the increase in attacks has left those on the case believing that there may be various copycat Rogue Santas added to the mix.

“It’s an obvious violation of the Statute of Secrecy, which is why we’re concerned,” said Nicholas Frost, the Squad-Man on the case. “The more we allow these Rogue Santa attacks to occur, the more the muggles might actually expect a miracle on Christmas. You can imagine the shock on some parents’ faces when they wake up to empty stockings and crying kids on Christmas morning.”

The Rogue Santa(s) could face up to twelve years in Azkaban for their exploits, though it’s uncertain if a partridge in a pear tree will be awaiting them upon their release.

If you have any information that could be of help regarding this case, please forward all owls to Level Three of the Ministry of Magic, or here to the Daily Prophet.

Daily Prophet

Ding Dong, the Death Eater's Dead!

At long last, the Daily Prophet has heard the official news: Duncan Cunningham, the Death Eater arrested and suspected of tampering with the sanity of students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was found dead several yards from his cell last month.

Reports say that Daniel Pechman, the auror on duty at the time of Cunningham’s death, was found on the scene just steps away from the deceased’s body. After a weighing of Pechman’s wand, it was found that a Killing Curse as well as a memory modification charm had been used within an hour of the estimated time of murder. Authorities have taken the former auror into custody for questioning. Neither the accused nor his lawyers have been available for comment.

Along with Pechman, auror Hollis Keen bore witness to the breach in security. Anonymous sources reveal that the memory modification charm found on Pechman’s wand was possibly performed on Keen after the crime was committed. Keen was questioned, but no further action was taken and she has since been released. Keen is an upstanding, decorated auror who has been heavily involved in the investigations regarding the attacks on Hogwarts at the end of the last school year, and will continue to do so as the Ministry works to unravel the truth and motivation behind Duncan Cunningham’s untimely demise.

More information on Pechman’s hearing to follow as the Prophet discovers more about this heinous act.

Daily Prophet

Tragedy at the Hands of Healers

Less than twenty-four hours ago, tragedy struck Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizadry.

An anonymous source has revealed that last night, very suddenly, a student at the once prestigious school passed away. A child. A sweet, innocent thing who didn’t even make it to their Ordinary Wizarding Level Examinations inhaled their last, shuddering breath behind walls that are supposed to be a sanctuary, and why? Because of the incompetent fools who have been allowed to let their tyranny suffocate the minds of our youth for the past decade.

Despite the Ministry’s best efforts to get a handle on the Spattergroit Epidemic that has plagued the castle for months, the disease has been allowed to persist. Anonymous sources say that Aurora Braelin-VonHaus, Hogwarts’s resident healer, has trumped every attempt made by St. Mungo’s healers Edmund Caverly and Duncan Cunningham to correct the situation. When asked, students claimed that all that was done to check their health was “a bit of poking and prodding,” and that anyone who appeared ill was quarantined for one week before they were released again. The approximate recovery time for even the mildest case of spattergroit is three weeks. Any other attempts made by the Ministry-appointed professionals was met by irate screaming that could be heard from classes two floors below the Hospital Wing, anonymous sources say.

Braelin-VonHaus has been employed at the school since September of 2024, and in the near decade she has been allowed to practice, the health and safety of students has snowballed into a chaotic, almost war-like atmosphere in which students have to scream to be heard if they are feeling unwell.

And now a child has died at her hands.

If we cannot be certain that our children are safe at school, then what can we be certain of? If Headmaster Arthur Weasley cannot see that the quality of his staff has fallen from grace and into a vortex of fatal consequences, then what’s to say that it will stop at one death? As long as Aurora Braelin-VonHaus is in charge of the wellbeing of our children, death is an ever-present possibility. And it is a possibility that the wizarding community of Britain should not sit idly by and accept.

From the Prophet, the Ministry, and a reporter who goes home to small children every day, we ask that you keep the fallen child in your thoughts as we work to uncover more of the story.

Daily Prophet

Ruby Lee's Magical Mysteries: Poltergeists

Dear Ruby,
How does one become a poltergeist?
- Mischievous, Leeds


Hi Mischievous,


Short answer: you can’t, so you’ll have to satisfy your desire for chaos before you die.

Long answer: poltergeists aren’t ghosts! This is one of those cases where we have something waddling, quacking and suspiciously duck-shaped but it definitely is not a duck. Poltergeists were never living humans; they’re amortal spirits of chaos tied to specific locations. We call them “non-beings”, along with boggarts and dementors, and unlike ghosts they can both affect and be affected by the physical world and are also vulnerable to many of the same spells as other not-dead things.


We don’t really know what causes the birth of a poltergeist, although many theorise it’s simply due to a lot of chaotic energy localised in one area. There is some work ongoing now in Germany where researchers are attempting to intentionally recreate different kinds of chaos in different areas to see if we can predict where a poltergeist will be born. Their next experiment will probably be in seeing if they can get rid of them…


Yours, Ruby <3

Daily Prophet

Outraged Voices Cry Out

We asked for your words, and you delivered–literally. The following are letters the Daily Prophet has received from a wide array of parents. Mothers, fathers, grandparents, muggles, half-bloods and purebloods alike have written in with their views. While some people are still blinded by the Headmaster’s schemes, it is resoundingly clear that the majority of our children’s guardians are not happy with the lack of safety that Hogwarts delivers. Here is what you, the readers, had to say:


Time to close Hogwarts?

Hogwarts reopened twenty-nine years ago and there have been four student deaths and countless attacks that terrorize the survivors. Let’s not even get started on the staff deaths either. I personally thought they should have shut down Hogwarts after Miss Colubra (RIP) was murdered in cold blood by the Dark Lord himself in the third year but no, stupidity prevailed and more students were forced to endure terror the next year as it appears that nobody at Hogwarts knows how to secure the grounds and the Death Eaters returned.

Then they came back again for the next few years then every other year since then. Didn’t they learn anything from that? I had hoped for the best when Wigglesworth (incompetent!) passed away and was replaced by Weasley. But of course not, the Death Eaters decided to stop by Hogwarts to have a good time at the annual ball in his first year and shockingly, he kept his job as Headmaster.

There have been too many tragedies and this latest one is completely unacceptable. The death of a young girl could have been prevented by having competent people in charge who wouldn’t have allowed two vicious beasts to attend the school, let alone make one of them Head Girl. Someone competent would have ensured that the beasts took their Wolfsbane. Every figure of authority at Hogwarts and the Ministry should be ashamed of what happened in June.

I do wonder if this would all have happened if the deputy Headmaster Gawkrodger hadn’t taken a year off. Would have he stood up to the tyranny of Weasley and ensured that the staff did their job?

I personally think that it’s time to quit trying to make Hogwarts work and close the school. My grandchildren will all be attending Durmstrang because I know they take the safety of students seriously there. I will get to see them graduate as proper young adults instead of laying flowers on their graves or seeing them traumatized by the horrors that go on at Hogwarts.

Why do loving parents willingly ship off their beloved children to a hellhole like Hogwarts?

It’s time for something to change.



Dear Mr. Cuffe,

I am completely disgusted by the articles that you have been publishing regarding the events that happened at Hogwarts last year. To put the blame on Headmaster Weasley and Madam Braelin-VonHaus is completely ludicrous. Who you really need to blame for the incidents at the castle is not the werewolves, (who, I may point out, were completely harmless for seven years before this incident) but the ones at the heart of this attack. Have you not interviewed anyone who was at the school during this awful time?

Because trust me, if you cared to research more, you would find that it wasn’t just the werewolves in the school that ran rampant, it was normal students as well, influenced by dark magic of some sort. Just ask any student at Hogwarts at the time. So why aren’t you looking at that? Why aren’t you finding the REAL culprits who committed such treacherous acts upon mere children? Blaming adults who only do their best to protect the students is going to get us nowhere. I beg you and the wizarding world as a whole to ask the question that needs to be asked: who is really at fault here? Because it’s not the students who went crazy, nor the werewolves, nor Headmaster Weasley or any of the other staff at Hogwarts.

Be a real reporter and do some real research, please.


Bernadette Stanislaus


Dear Mr. Cuffe,

I am writing to you as a concerned parent. I am what you would call a muggle. I possess no magical ability and was born and raised believing that magic did not exist. It was almost two years ago exactly that a witch from the Ministry of Magic arrived on my doorstep and informed me otherwise. I was told that my only daughter was special, that she possessed a magical gift that neither I nor anyone else in my world could begin to understand. I was told that there was a school for people like her to learn and grow. I was very skeptical at first, but there had been incidents I witnessed at my daughter’s hand that caused me to trust in the woman at my door and her unusual assertions.

I chose to trust that woman and I was very wrong.

I was told by the people in charge that my daughter would be safe at Hogwarts. It is very hard to part with your child, but it is even harder to send them off into another world that you have no knowledge of. I kept up with the strange letter system, checking in with my daughter nearly every other day, and I chose to subscribe to your newspaper with hopes that you could keep me connected to her world.

I’m completely outraged to hear about the recent death of Margo Ward and the circumstances surrounding her death. The attacks that took place on the school not only killed a student, but they directly involved my daughter. I can’t help but fear that it could’ve easily been her who had lost her life and empathize with the parents of the girl. She was so young and deserved to have many many years ahead of her.

I’m outraged to hear that no action has been taken against Arthur Weasley, Headmaster of Hogwarts, and have grave reservations about my daughter returning to school in the fall. I demand that the people in charge of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy be held accountable for this grave lack in security! Specifically, Headmaster Arthur Weasley should put in his immediate resignation.

With greatest concern,

Theodore A. Kaligaris


To the Daily Prophet-

I am not a witch. Perhaps that gives me less of a voice within my husband’s community–certainly, as a Muggle, I find myself continually sheltered from many of the goings-on in the Wizarding world. But I am an avid reader of the Prophet simply because my daughter is a witch. She attends Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: therefore I feel the need to make my voice be heard, not as an anonymous Muggle bystander but as a concerned–no, terrified parent.

My daughter will not be returning to Hogwarts in September. I am not only disgusted with the slipshod management of the school but also the gross misconduct from Headmaster Weasley and the staff. A child was horrifically murdered by a savage, wild animal, at the very school that is supposedly protected from harm.

I was assured multiple times that my daughter would be safe at Hogwarts. Against my better judgment I allowed her to attend the plague-ridden, werewolf-infested school, and now I must pay for that decision with regret. When the attacks occurred, I was not contacted by the school to let me know that my child was safe. I heard nothing from any Ministry Official or Hogwarts faculty. Instead, I had to pick up my morning paper and read in the news headlines that a child had been murdered in the very same place that my daughter sleeps.

Headmaster Weasley and all of the Hogwarts Staff has to answer for the attacks, and I hold them all personally responsible for the death of that young girl. As a mother and a wife, I cannot in good conscience allow my daughter to set foot back in that dangerous castle.

Readers of the Daily Prophet, I urge you to do the same. To many I am a discredited voice, because of my non-magical upbringing, but if you find my words unpalatable, simply look at the abhorrent actions of the Hogwarts staff. That, more than anything, should convince you.

Keep your children home. Keep your children safe.


Agatha Whitaker