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Daily Prophet

Missing Auror Found Catatonic

Hollis Keen, a 20-year veteran of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement who disappeared over a year ago, was found unresponsive on the shore of River Tweed near Birgham, Scotland. Authorities have not disclosed whether the Auror was working on a case at the time of her disappearance. Harry Potter, Head of the Auror Department, declined to make further comments.

 

Ms. Keen’s mother, Audrey Keen, released a statement this morning: “Mr. Potter’s treatment of my daughter’s case appalls me. Aurors risk their lives every day for the good of everyone, and as their leader, Mr. Potter should have better measures to protect his staff rather than nontransparent ones to shield his reputation and political aspirations. This also applies to our Minister for Magic, who continued to cut funds over the years even as crimes rose. If the failed break-in at Hogwarts last year is any indication, it’s that our Aurors on the ground could be even more successful with additional resources, all of which is too late for my Hollis.”

 

Keen was admitted to the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. A source indicated that her condition is stable.

 

Mr. and Mrs. Keen have released a reward notice of 500 galleons for productive tips regarding their daughter’s former disappearance. This joins their 17-year-old reward notice for information regarding their son Amias Keen’s murder during his tenure as an Auror.

 

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Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet

Anti-Muggleborn Posters Found in Hogsmeade

HOGSMEADE--As students head to Hogsmeade for their first weekend in the town of the year, reports of posters with anti-muggleborn messages have surfaced. The posters, which residents first noticed early morning Thursday on the block near Madame Puddifoot's, bear an ominous message that students who are not of pureblood heritage will be barred from returning to Hogwarts, and includes an address for both students, and local muggleborn residents, to turn in their wands. The posters are signed by the Skull and Bones Society, which Magical Law Enforcement Department insiders claim is a reference to the Dark Mark that Voldemort's followers marked themselves with.

 

Hogsmeade officials that were reached for comment urged the public to remain calm, and refused to speculate on whether the posters were a malicious prank or a warning from an anti-muggleborn group. They added that the Hogsmeade weekends that occur regularly throughout the school year would go on according to schedule.

 

 

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Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet

Flamel Flees Failing Faculty

Headmistress Arnaude Flamel has departed from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in what the school's board of governors is calling "a mutual decision", in spite of claims she was fired for performance issues.

 

Flamel's tenure at the leading magical school was plagued with minor controversy, but only the most recent Death Eater attack on the facility resulted in significant pressure on the school board to end her employment. A well-known and accomplished potioneer, Flamel was brought in to improve the safety record at Hogwarts, but critics say danger to students only increased under her administration. Some claim she was even personally connected to key figures in the latest attack and that the school must revisit what appears to be a policy of hiring or promoting only those from old pureblood families into leadership positions.

 

Arnaude Flamel declined an interview with this paper but released a short statement asserting that she "is making a mutually agreeable move to focus on [her] personal research and work for publication, leaving the tutelage of future generations to rest, as it should, with those who possess a true passion for education." However, sources close to her say she was preparing for another school year as recently as one week ago.

 

No replacement has been appointed for the position. The board intends to take its time searching for an appropriate candidate, and the existing Deputy Headmaster, Theobald Gawkrodger, will act as an interim head during this period. Purity discrimination groups have been quick to point out this is yet another Head of School from an established pureblood family, but the education and parent advocates who were Flamel's most vocal opponents are cautiously satisfied.

 

A spokesperson for education reform group Growing Fruitful Futures said "GFF is happy to see Arnaude Flamel replaced with an educator who has given Hogwarts a fifteen year commitment. We hope the permanent appointment will reflect the same attention to experience which is relevant to pedagogy and school administration, not just magical research, and are optimistic about the future of Hogwarts as a premier educational facility."

Daily Prophet

Death Eater Trial Date Finalized: Justice Incoming

The date for the final trial and sentencing of confirmed Death Eaters Eadric Carter and Otis Egan has been set for Monday, July 13th 2037. Both men have been held in custody following their arrests last fall during a failed break-in at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Carter and Egan each face charges and subsequent penalties from infractions that range from breaking and entering and illegal use of magicked objects, to numerous counts of reckless child endangerment. Egan is also charged with the murder of Lucretia Sheffield, former Auror, through the use of an Unforgivable Curse.

 

While this is the first charge held against Carter, whose father happens to be a highly respected professor at the aforementioned school, Egan has several prior infractions on record. Professor Carter declined the Daily Prophet’s request to provide a comment on his son’s upcoming trial, citing that he is focused on the needs of his family at this time.

 

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Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet
The current commander-in-chief at Hogwarts, Headmistress Arnaude Flamel, has done well to ensure the safety of her students from outside forces, but who’s protecting the students from internal threats? Since Flamel has stepped into power at Hogwarts, rumours have been floating about regarding the nature of her disciplinary methods. Shackling, what many students and parents originally thought to be a scare tactic to keep the children in line, have become a real, tangible, and archaically cruel punishment at Hogwarts.
 
At the end of the school year, three third year girls were caught sneaking into Flamel’s office on a dare. As punishment, they were shackled to the ceilings of the Great Hall, publicly humiliated in front of their peers and made out as examples for the rest of the day. The shackles were additionally charmed to burn their wrists if they moved too much.
 
This type of corporal punishment, popular back in the 1800s, seems outdated in today’s modern world. “I can’t even begin to describe what kind of damages a corporal punishment of this size does to a child’s psyche,” Rose Willoughby, healer, child psychologist, and author of The Delicate Magical Mind, lamented during a sit-down interview with me. “Even the muggles know better. It really begs the question which society, magical or muggle, is more advanced if this type of punishment is deemed acceptable at Hogwarts.”
 
We were lucky enough to get in contact with one of the aforementioned girls’ mother, who will be kept anonymous for her child’s safety. She was, predictably, outraged when she heard the news: “She claims to care about the welfare of our children, but how good can her security be if three thirteen-year-old girls are capable of breaching it? These barbaric punishments have nothing to do with protecting our children and everything to do with distracting us from the key issue: what is Flamel hiding that those girls accidentally stumbled into? The whole thing stinks of a cover up. I, for one, will be in contact with the board of governors and I urge every Hogwarts parent to do the same.” Unfortunately, this is not the first shackling since Flamel’s promotion, only the first that has reach our ears. Perhaps your child has already been shackled once and has been too scared to tell you. Then again, how much do we really know about what goes on at Hogwarts these days?
 
The Daily Prophet has previously celebrated the achievements of Headmistress Flamel. While we do commend her on maintaining the safety of our children, we are also committed to reporting the truth. The truth is your child could be the next to be shackled to the ceilings of the Great Hall. The new school year is fast approaching, so as you send your child off for another riveting year at Hogwarts, remember this: While we can rest well knowing our children are safe from Death Eaters and other outside threats at Hogwarts, who will keep them safe from the heartless hands of Headmistress Flamel?
Daily Prophet
Parents' groups and education advocates are calling for major reforms to safety procedures at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the wake of another devastating Death Eater attack.
 
Headmistress Arnaude Flamel was brought in four years ago and is generally considered to have improved safety and security at the school. However, the attack in early October, in which children were severely injured and an auror was killed on school grounds, has led to claims that her security record is based purely on coincidence.
 
Founder of advocacy group Parents For Progress, Mallory Selwyn, claims Flamel's tenure has actually harmed students, rather than protecting them.
 
"When our schools lock up students in the name of sheltering them they become little more than jails. A child cannot learn in an environment of constant fear, whether it be of punishment or external attack, and they cannot learn to care for themselves in the wider community if they have been cloistered away in an environment which would sacrifice education, freedom and progress for a hollow sense of security."
 
Parents for Progress has been an outspoken critic of the Hogwarts Board of Governors, Arnaude Flamel and prior head Arthur Weasley, but formerly supportive groups such as Families Protecting True Magic and the Mandatory Registration Movement have also publicly expressed concerns about the headmistress' ability to live up expectations.
 
In an official statement the Hogwarts Board of Governors has announced that it supports its administration team and has no current plans to remove any staff. Independent sources claim that at least one member of the board is scouting candidates to replace both the headmistress and deputy headmaster.
 
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Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.
Daily Prophet
In the midst of latest fall issue of Diagon’s Bazaar, the debut of various collections and the sudden surge in controversial trends have caused an uproar in the socially-conscious wizarding population. Various organizations such as Wizards for Beast Rights have banded together to not only boycott any and all sales of the offending products, but to also hurl accusations left and right. Coupled with bamboozling numbers and suspect facts, their loud complaints have been a source for bad publicity for the wizarding world’s most famous designers.

Picture this: a flock of peaceful demiguises, bred and hunted for their highly coveted pelts. These endearing little animals live in the East Asian wilderness and are known for their innate ability to turn invisible. It is their hair that enables them to simply disappear from sight.

The Fur vs. Faux debate has lasted for decades with no resolution, and it has been taken to a new level as many witches and wizards have been considering the poaching of these beasts for their hair. For years, demiguise hairs have been used in the making of high quality invisibility cloaks, but it no longer stops there. As the latest trends have gathered momentum, the wealthy have taken to a new style of prêt-a-porter: woven in with the cloth is the invisible hair, creating elaborate and abstract patterns that are a source of wonder, awe, and confusion. Right now, it is cool to strut about head-to-toe in Sior, partially invisible to the rest of the world.

But what is the cost? The safety and welfare of these creatures are at stake, and the reputations of labels and designers at stake as activists dedicate themselves to being a pain in the rear. Are these designers guilty of one of the most heinous crimes imaginable to man? Are they the next Dolores Umbridges of the world, letting poor, defenseless magical creatures suffer in the name of fashion?

On the other hand, could it be just another high price of fashion? Can we trust the whims of the masses to put a stop to this trend, one and for all? We will have to see.
 
By Talia Ayers
Daily Prophet
As the spotlight falls on the most outstanding of the British wizarding youth once again, you might find yourself wondering who exactly these twelve young whippersnappers are, shortly to be sent abroad as an example of Hogwarts’ educational prowess. Well wonder no longer! I was lucky enough to be granted short interviews with every member of the Hogwarts delegation earlier this week and let me tell you, Durmstrang is not going to know what hit it.

Those of you familiar with the professional duellist Avril Capalet might be tempted by her platform prowess to put your money on her younger cousin, a blonde Hufflepuff named Apple. However, this bundle of sunshine – and my quill is dripping with irony as I write that – is about as far from her determined and down-to-earth relative as you could get. Apple itches for “fame” and to “escape from all the losers at school” by competing in the tournament. While she might not seem the typical Hufflepuff, her fellow delegate Kaleb Anderson seems to fulfill all the expectations of his house. A Gryffindor, by all accounts confident and with a thirst for adventure, the sixth year is yet to be seen without a smile on his face. Whether it is a cheering charm gone wrong or just his natural persona is yet to be uncovered.

If you like your men (if you could call them men) a little more rough around the edges, look no further than seventh year Dictys Ator. Strikingly handsome, the Slytherin delegate with a particular talent for Transfiguration draws the eye naturally. Described by one anonymous female as “the perfect guy,” Hogwarts’ loss will surely be our gain as a newfound fondness for the library this year gives him an edge on the competition both intellectually and aesthetically. Perhaps he has study sessions with one Lilia McEvans, a Ravenclaw classmate and delegate who also takes pride in her academics. A dedicated student, the Prefect even states that she would donate any prize winnings to the staff of Hogwarts as a “token of appreciation for their continued efforts to educate us.” Lilia refuses to speak ill of any of her fellow delegates and even-handedly manages to negotiate her way around controversy. With a pretty face and flowing locks of strawberry blonde hair, we at the Daily Prophet doubt that will last for long.

More of an enigma is one of the youngest delegates, Slytherin Isabella Carter. Something of a lone wolf she admits that it will be “interesting” sharing her quarters at Durmstrang with her fellow delegates. And when probed for her strategy going into the tournament she replies, “I can’t reveal everything, can I?” with a wry smile. If there’s a femme fatale in the Hogwarts bunch it is bound to be this brown-haired beauty, who gives off the aura of always being one step ahead of the rest. Hufflepuff Quidditch star Ettie O’Malley brings us to our half-way point. Although not the most aggressive player, her absence will surely be felt on the pitch this year. If we are to assign characters to the delegates, O’Malley is surely the underdog. Understated and unassuming, the Prefect is the kind of girl easily lost in a crowd of larger personalities. We all know however, that it is often the quiet ones you have to look out for.

If this has whet your appetite for all the gossip from the Hogwarts camp, don’t miss my follow-up piece where we discuss the remaining six delegates, including the eldest son of the legendary Neville Longbottom.
Daily Prophet
Aurors have taken into custody Blaise Zabini in relation to a gruesome set of mass murders committed earlier this morning. Details of the murders will not been released to the general public until the victims’ families have been notified, but the death count is anticipated to be high. One witness to the aftermath stated that, “… [Some of the] bodies were unrecognizable. It was gruesome, the byproduct of a mad man.” Aurors were not directly available for comment.

Zabini, a lawyer, has represented over the years several high-profile suspected criminals. His victories in the courtroom outweigh his defeats, leading one frequent rival to suggest underhanded play. There is no proof to support this theory, though his connections within the wizarding world are impossible to deny.

A close friend, Alaric Montague, owner of several exclusive clubs throughout England, was made available for comment following news of his friend’s arrest and subsequent incarceration. His hurt and confusion are evident within the shockingly blue orbs that sit upon prominent cheekbones, blond tresses creating a halo-effect about his angelic face, as he, obviously overwhelmed by emotion, manages a short statement. “Blaise was a long-time friend and confidant. I am shocked by these allegations and hope that, while the facts support the conclusions made by the Aurors, this is somehow one massive misunderstanding.”

Zabini is being held in Azkaban where he will await his trial. It is so far unclear as to what may have prompted his actions. Attempts to question Zabini have turned up no evidence and reports are that he appears to have, “… Completely lost it, ranting and raving about nothing inparticular.” One source claimed, with exasperation, that questioning turned into Zabini displaying his knowledge of the alphabet song. The defense may be hoping to use insanity as a defense and an associate of Zabini’s, who will remain nameless for posterity sake, suggested that, “… [Zabini] may be faking, playing up the idea of a lunatic to escape punishment.” Another coworker was overheard saying that, “He was always mixed up with the bad sorts. It’s no surprise he offed those people. Guilty by association.”

All that can be known for certain is that Zabini is being held in Azkaban and will remain there until his trial. There are no other suspects at this time.
Daily Prophet
Your stars with the Daily Prophet’s Delores Pudderswyth
 
ARIES
Steady! Your impetuous nature may have led you one step too far this time. Or twenty! Did you really have to go so far, just to succeed? It’s time to make amends, Aries.
 
TAURUS
Ahhh, isn't the sunshine beautiful? The birds are singing, the grass is green, the squid is swimming merrily in the lake. Just don’t forget that sometimes there’s more to life than mere external appearances.
 
GEMINI
The moon is in alignment this month. You know what that means, right? It means you’re a genius! Go for it. It’s a perfect idea!
 
CANCER
I have some peachy keen news for you. You’re about to come into absolutely masses of cash! And if you don’t? You’re obviously not trying hard enough.
 
LEO
You know what they say about paranoia. Just because you’re paranoid doesn't mean they’re not out to get you. Watch your back.
 
VIRGO
Throw away the rulebook Virgo. It’s time for LOVE!
 
LIBRA
Diplomacy is one of your very best traits. Unfortunately, it won’t help you with what’s coming at you this month. Might I suggest a very firm hex instead?
 
SCORPIO
Methinks it’s time to go investigating. You never know what you might find.
 
SAGITTARIUS
Have you ever dreamed of being a rebel? All the signs point to this being the time for you to rise up. Just remember - nobody ever got anywhere by being afraid.
 
CAPRICORN
Unfortunately, a friend has just betrayed you. It doesn't matter whether you find out or not - it happened. I think you should just go mope somewhere.
 
AQUARIUS
Do you know any Sagittarians? If not, find one. Quickly. The two of you need each other.
 
PISCES
Things aren't looking very good for any intellectual pursuits this month. No matter how hard you try, it seems you’re just going to get things wrong. It might be time to try a different approach.
Daily Prophet
16 January 2019
 
Many of us have been scarred over the horrible incident that occurred in Diagon Alley shortly before Christmas. The Alley has lost profit and families have been said to be keeping their young ones inside, for fear of a repeat performance. With five deaths hovering over the Ministry’s head and, more importantly, a kidnapping, our readers, along with myself, are left to wonder: what exactly is the Ministry doing to protect us?
 
Many of our readers remember a time much like that day in Diagon Alley, where fear was what controlled our world. Now that it’s repeating itself, we’re looking to the Ministry for help; for guidance during this trying time. However, if they cannot save just one person, how are we supposed to stay positive that they can protect each of us? Of course, I’m talking about Flora Trimble, Head Mediwitch at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, who was kidnapped by alleged Death Eaters. I say “alleged” because the Ministry has yet to cement this fact or not. With the disappearance of Madam Trimble, we are shown very clearly of two things: how will the Hospital Wing manage without Trimble and, what is being done to get her back within our ranks?
 
The very one person whom everyone expected to see race off to rescue Flora Trimble was, in fact, her husband, one of the former Defence Against the Dark Arts professors at Hogwarts, Derek Trimble. The startling truth of this complete opposite has shocked many. Why isn't Derek Trimble doing anything? More importantly, why isn't anyone doing anything? It has come to the Prophet’s knowledge just recently, from an inside leak at the Ministry, that Derek Trimble is being kept at St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Is this against his will? No Auror or St. Mungo’s staff were available for comment, which goes to show just where our Galleons are going, folks.
 
Among our already hectic problems, we now have to worry about the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts. This reporter has made several visits there and it’s in quite a disarray. The brand new hire of Madam Rebecca Knight has brought up many questions with our readers. Is our Hospital Wing understaffed? It seems so, as there have just been three new Wing assistants hired, right out of the students attending; Kaoru Li, Sierra Leonki and Zoeigh Mcallister. Zoeigh McAllister, an overly-kind blonde girl, told me in a hurried fashion that, “It isn't actually so bad, but don’t quote me on that. But I wish that Madam Trimble were here.” A loud crash in the back had the young Hufflepuff rushing away, a panicked look in her eyes.
 
It is my observation that even with the new three student hires, the Hospital Wing is clearly needing of some assistance. Shane Banagher, a first year Hufflepuff, answered my question of how they had treated him when he asked for help with this quote: “Which time? I have been in there a lot this semester.” Does this mean that he couldn't get the help he needed when he first inquired within or is this boy just clumsy?
 
What’s even more shocking is the Ministry’s ability to keep the knowledge of Derek Trimble’s stay at St. Mungo’s a secret. Maria Johannson, a sixth year Gryffindor prefect, was quoted on his whereabouts this way: “Well, I’m only a student here, but I assume he’s out there looking for his beloved, right?” When the news of his staying at St. Mungo’s was revealed to her, she was quoted as saying, in a rather distraught tone, “Are you serious? Do you think he’s okay? Oh, I hope he’s okay.”
 
With the way the Ministry has been keeping secrets from us, there’s no telling. I think Lydon Ward, a sixth year Ravenclaw put it perfectly when asked of his opinion on what is going on. “I think it’s bloody stupid. Unless he is unable to move and going mental because of it, let him go and let him help find his wife. No one wants to feel helpless and I’m quite sure he’s feeling that to the extremes.”
Daily Prophet
9 June 2016
 
[A small snippet in the “Across the UK” section]
 
A Mr. Henry Wallace was reported missing late last night after his neighbor, Quidditch enthusiast Frett Barve, called the authorities to deal with Mr. Wallace’s pet crup. To the Ministry Official’s dismay, Mr. Wallace was not present. The media was told that there was “nothing to worry about,” as Mr. Wallace, age 59, “We have no reason to suspect foul play, but we do have reason to believe he was off visiting his brother.”
 
Henry Wallace may be best known in the Eastern European potions community for his publication of Potions You Should(n’t) Know, a piece detailing the uses of primarily illegal ingredients in potions.
Daily Prophet
28 November 2016
 
At the Germany vs Austria Quidditch World Cup Final, Aurors captured a Death Eater, who we can now reveal to be Amadeus Couriel. The Auror Division received an anonymous tip-off on Mr Couriel, a Ministry worker, which led to suspicions that he was involved in Death Eater activity. An entire gathering of Death Eaters was uncovered at the game as a highly trained Auror team apprehended Mr Couriel without disruption to the spectators.
 
The Death Eaters were discovered to be in a private box at the Cup Final, many of whom were disguised. When Couriel himself was apprehended, he had been imbibing Polyjuice and it was only through use of complex spells that the highly commendable Auror team identified him. Several others were also in disguise, but it is suspected that the nefarious Rodolphus Lestrange was present, who has eluded capture for years. Upon closing in, the rest of the Death Eaters immediately fled, but Auror Bevan reveals that there are several new names they are now considering adding to the growing list of dark wizards.
 
Mr Couriel has been taken into custody and will be interrogated for further information pertaining to the Death Eaters. Public safety is foremost in the Ministry’s mind. Any operations that Couriel was involved in at the Ministry are said to be compromised and are now under review. Auror O’Connell recommends that any who may have been affected by the affairs handled by this highly dangerous criminal to owl the Aurors detailing their plight, as well as anyone who may have any information regarding Couriel’s activities.
Daily Prophet
2 September 2014
 
A group of French scientists were apprehended Friday for their possible involvement in the death of Tavis Wigglesworth, former Hogwarts Headmaster. The outlandish group had dropped a knut from the Eiffel Tower to see if it would fall fast enough to sufficiently kill a human being. Wigglesworth was, at the time, visiting Paris and, specifically, the Eiffel Tower.
 
More need not be said.
 
The beloved headmaster was buried late Saturday afternoon in a public ceremony off the coast of Scotland. Dozens flocked to pay their last respects to the man that had done so much for Hogwarts. As per his last request, Wigglesworth’s epitaph read: “Here lies Tavis Wigglesworth, aged 140. Oh, how the good die young.” The minister had sent his sympathies to the dearly departed Headmaster, but did not attend the ceremony.
Daily Prophet
Social Elite and Hotel Mogul, Alaric Montague, was quietly reported missing nearly a week ago.  A source within the Magical Law Enforcement Department says that despite the suspicion of foul play, the influence of the Montague family has left a blanketed moratorium on media coverage of the ongoing manhunt. At this point in time, our sources indicate that the possibility of finding the billionaire alive are grim.
 
Montague’s fortune was amassed through the chain of luxurious wizarding hotels across the world, including Italy, France, Germany, and here in our very own London. The Montague brand is known for catering to the elite and famous and with the introduction of the various Gentleman’s Clubs, Alaric has been named among the Top Ten Wealthiest Wizards in the World.  It is no wonder that the Governors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry welcomed him with open arms, no doubt hoping that he’d bring an open wallet. Of all the Governors, Montague was one of the most vocally supportive of Arnaude Flamel assuming the post of Headmistress of the prestigious wizarding school.
 
Early last Friday, Montague was reported missing by his wife, Melania, after failing to return home from a mysterious business trip to Transylvania.  The Montague chain could not confirm that there was discussion of opening a hotel in the area and no one seemed to have any information what the meeting he was to have attended entailed.  Our sources report that when Montague’s office was searched that it was found in disarray indicating a struggle.
 
The Daily Prophet reached out to his son, Sebastian Montague, the Professional Quidditch Seeker for the Falmouth Falcons, but received no comment.
The family has asked that their privacy be respected, but our source in the Magical Law Enforcement department would like to ask that if the public has any information, they should report it immediately.
Daily Prophet
In the wake of a lethal Death Eater attack on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the nearby village of Hogsmeade, the Department of Magical Law Enforcement is calling for celebration.
 
On October 4 a group of Death Eaters conducted a two-pronged attack in the Scottish Highlands causing immense property damage in Hogsmeade and injuring numerous Hogwarts students. Lucretia Sheffield, a veteran auror and mother of one, has been named as a casualty.
 
Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Dorian Metcalfe, calls the weekend a victory in spite of the cost.
 
"In addition to those aurors were forced to kill to prevent further harm, several Death Eaters were successfully apprehended and taken into custody. While the department mourns the loss of an auror and feels for her family, we are also aware this is the potentially the greatest victory we have seen over these violent forces in many years."
 
According to Ms Metcalfe, these arrests may be the key to dismantling the Death Eater organisation, which has been terrorising the wizarding community for decades. Other sources claim the majority of Death Eaters were neutralised in this encounter and this is already the end of the Death Eaters, but Ms Metcalfe declined to comment.
 
Donations for the family of Lucretia Sheffield can be mailed directly to the Auror Office in London.
Daily Prophet
Dear Ruby,
How does one become a poltergeist?
- Mischievous, Leeds
 
Hi Mischievous,
 
Short answer: you can’t, so you’ll have to satisfy your desire for chaos before you die.

Long answer: poltergeists aren’t ghosts! This is one of those cases where we have something waddling, quacking and suspiciously duck-shaped but it definitely is not a duck. Poltergeists were never living humans; they’re amortal spirits of chaos tied to specific locations. We call them “non-beings”, along with boggarts and dementors, and unlike ghosts they can both affect and be affected by the physical world and are also vulnerable to many of the same spells as other not-dead things.
 
We don’t really know what causes the birth of a poltergeist, although many theorise it’s simply due to a lot of chaotic energy localised in one area. There is some work ongoing now in Germany where researchers are attempting to intentionally recreate different kinds of chaos in different areas to see if we can predict where a poltergeist will be born. Their next experiment will probably be in seeing if they can get rid of them…
 
Yours, Ruby <3
Daily Prophet
Following the interesting discovery that savage bully Herbert Longbottom and Hogwarts delegate Apple Capalet used to date, WW99 FM hosted a talk with the Hufflepuff student to reveal the truth about the son of legendary war hero Neville Longbottom. For those who missed it, an excerpt of the interview with the clearly traumatised delegate can be found below.

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Interviewer: So, Apple, can you tell us exactly what was going through your mind when Herbert first asked you to be his girlfriend?

Apple: Well, I was in - um - third year? Something like that. So obviously it was kind of a big thing, I mean, being asked out by a boy. And so I think I kind of said yes because I was excited, and he seemed nice, but that was before I really knew what he was like to other people. I sometimes wonder what I was thinking when I look back on it, you know?

Interviewer: Yes, we know. Now Mr. Longbottom’s bullying nature has become evident, we predict that he will be unlikely to find himself any girlfriends in the future.

Apple: I would strongly advise any girl he ever asks out to refuse and run a mile.

Interviewer: That’s a bit harsh. Why would you say that?

Apple: It’s good advice! I think when I first started going out with Herbert he tried to be nice, by like meeting me after class and stuff. Then he got really horrible and started yelling at me if I did something he didn’t like, and then he started making me carry his bag around everywhere like some sort of skivvy. I had to do some of his homework too and he was the year above me so it was basically impossible, and when I did it wrong and he got T grades he would like… get in a mood with me. He tried to hex me one time, but thankfully I got away. He was really angry.

Interviewer: …Hex you? That seems awful. I personally would have never hexed a girl when I was at school. Could you tell us more about what happened?

Apple: I can’t really remember it very well. I think - yes, we were in the middle of the lawn at Hogwarts and he told me I got him a T in his Herbology homework. And I mean, his dad used to be a Professor of Herbology at Hogwarts! Couldn’t he have just got an automatic O anyway? But like, it was really weird ’cause he told me he’d disappointed his dad, and then he told his dad that he hadn’t actually done his homework and I’d done it and Professor Longbottom didn’t believe him. So yeah, he was really angry and I said I didn’t know anything because it was fourth year Herbology and I was a third year. So he just sort of got angry and aimed at me and yeah.

Interviewer: That definitely doesn’t sound very gentlemanly. How did your relationship end?

Apple: People say I was cheating on Herbert with Roman, a boy in Slytherin in my year. In hindsight I probably should have been cheating with Roman, because he was hot and I dated him after and it was the best year ever. But Roman sort of decided I needed a bodyguard, ’cause we were friends and I told him about Herbert trying to hit me. And then Herbert sort of took it the wrong way and he went really mental when he found out and he beat up Roman and put him in the Hospital Wing for a week. It was horrible to watch, especially because Roman was my friend. I was kind of glad it ended though, because I knew Herbert wasn’t going to end it because I was like his skivvy or something.

Interviewer: Ouch. And what has Herbert’s luck with girls been since?

Apple: He’s had two other girlfriends, I think. Anna was just as horrible as him, I think he had influenced her too much because they were in the same house. And Abrielle is a bit weird, I think she probably just wanted to date Herbert because no one else wanted to date her.

——

Anybody interested in hearing the full hour-long interview with Hogwarts delegate Apple Capalet can tune into WW99 FM on March 15th at 7:30pm, where the interview will be replayed in the run up to the mysterious third task.
Daily Prophet
The Triwizard Tournament has been a beloved tradition for the trinity of schools – Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang – for nearly 700 years. This year, hosted by the elusive Durmstrang Institute, it has promise of danger and adventure, thrilling tests for our brilliant youth. Just last night, a reliable source, speaking in anonymity, has released the following list of students who will be traveling to the frosty lands as Hogwarts’s delegates:
 
Apple Capalet
Briony Prosser
Ettie O’Malley
Alice Bogswead
Lilia McEvans
Will Kilmarnook
Herbert Longbottom
Kai Fireblader
Kaleb Anderson
Chase Eaton
Dictys Ator
Isabella Carter

Just who are these teenagers who have been tasked with representing their school? As the weeks unfold, we here at the Daily Prophet vow to bring you the latest of news as they face tests of courage and character at Durmstrang. If the last tournament is anything to judge by, then we hope to be on the edge of our quills just as we were when Miles Weber dove off the Astronomy Tower as a canary to safety.
Daily Prophet
6 September 2024
 
Dear Amy,
I have a wart on the end of my nose and it’s rather unsightly. I have tried many a beautifying potion to remove it but it simply grows back. Please help.
– Warty in Worcester.
 
Dear Warty, Maybe your wart is there for a reason. Have you ever thought of that? I don’t know what that reason could be, but you should think on it for a bit and try to come up with something. Or you could just try and work the wart. Perhaps you could make it look cool or something. But if you really want to get rid of the wart, however, try going to St. Mungo’s to see if the healers there can help you out. I hear they know all kinds of ways to cure problems.
 
Dear Amy,
I’m afraid my sister is a squib. She is six years old and has not yet shown even a bit of magical ability. I even gave her my wand to play with and all she managed to do was get it stuck in her ear. Should we give her away to a family of muggles?
~Julia in Bury St. Edmunds
 
Dear Julia, I honestly think that your sister is a genius. Perhaps she is hiding her magical ability from you just to annoy you. Maybe she doesn’t like you and would rather be sent off to live with another family so she wouldn’t have to deal with you any longer. Sounds like she’s a Ravenclaw to me! Just wait and eventually I’m sure you will see that she is a witch. Just watch out for when she could do magic, she might try and get you back for sending this in.
 
Dear Amy,
Why do my friends think it’s strange to be obsessed with wizarding pop sensation Dustin Tieber? They always tease me about it at mealtimes and someone drew a moustache on my poster with permanent marker. Now he looks like an old muggle dictator. What can I do to show them how wonderful he is?
-Brian, Definitely not from Hogwarts
 
Dear Brian, I am most certain that people are doing this to you because you are a boy that is obsessed with Dustin Tieber. Had you been a girl, I’m sure the taunting would not have been nearly as bad. If you talked less about him and focused more on the people around you, I bet things will get better. I also suggest that you take down the posters you have as him, as that will just result in more moustaches being drawn on his baby face.
 
Dear Amy,
Why is it 2024 and there is still blood prejudice? It’s not really fair, is it? I mean, people shouldn’t have to worry about being disliked just because of what they were born. It’s not their fault anyway. And everyone should be equal since there are smart and dumb people in every crowd, etc. Is there something we can do to stop this?
~Ruby from Blackpool
 
Dear Ruby, I don’t really think there is much anyone can do. You can’t just make people think what you want them to think. If they believe that muggleborns are bad, they believe that, and they have the right to. There is no law about what you or anyone else can believe in. We can’t go around policing thoughts. However, if you see someone around you being mistreated because of their blood status, you could step in and try to stop it. (For the record, I’m half-blood, in case anyone was wondering.)
 
Dear Amy,
Is there such thing as a part-troll? Because I swear a kid in my year is half-troll or something.
–Ashley from Ashbourne
 
Dear Ashley, I’m actually not sure. I do find it weird that I got two questions about blood status this week. Anyway, I would ask a professor at the school since they must have records on this sort of thing. Or, better yet, visit the library and look it up. If you find out, let me know, I’d love to know the answer.
 
Dear Amy,
Recently a wild dragon wandered onto our grounds. I think it’s just a Common Welsh Green, but it’s only a baby and I really want to keep her. She has only burnt down one of our five out-buildings so far. Do you think it’s safe to keep her tied to a fence on our lawn? It’s near a stream so she can drink.
-Tiamat, Aberystwyth
 
Dear Tiamat, You sound like an idiot. Dragons are supposed to be handled by professionals ONLY and you are no expert. Everyone knows that dragons are dangerous! Where did you grow up? And did you even go to school? I would report the dragon to the Ministry of Magic straight away so it can be taken to a reserve before any muggles see it. You better hope you don’t get arrested.
 
If you’d like to write to Amy, please send a letter to:
Amy, Advice Columnist
Daily Prophet Offices
Daily Prophet
17 May 2019
 
Flying broom fanatics went into mourning last night as the tragic death of Filberius Flyte was announced. One half of the famous inventing duo ‘Flyte and Barker’, Filberius was in the process of flight-testing his yet-to-be-released ‘Twigger Vista’ when an object, later identified to be a cauldron, fell upon his head from the air.
 
“It’s those bloody blackmarketeers,” says his wife, spunky Delores Flyte (herself a ‘dabbler’ in broom invention and creator of the new ‘Try-Trigger’, a training broom for toddlers which can be attached to their parent’s broom. “They’re always flying overhead – on carpets no less! They think they can bring their shoddy cauldrons in here – and the Ministry just lets them get away with it!”
 
Regardless of where the deadly cauldron came from, it is clear that Flyte’s partner, Geoffrey Barker, will have to continue work on the Vista by himself. Despite the trauma of his friend’s death, he vows that fans of the costly brooms will have reason to rejoice soon enough.
 
“As you know, we have eight brooms under the company’s belt already – ranging from the world-renowned Twigger 90, all the way to the Twigger XP. We’re confident that our customers will enjoy the luxury and ease of all Twiggers before – along with one or two brand new features, and a fabulous kitchy design!”
 
As a long time fan of the Twigger myself, I just hope they don’t leave off the self-straightening brush!
 
The Ministry of Magic could not be reached for a comment on the wayward cauldron.
Daily Prophet
5 March 2016
 
My first impression upon attending the Annual International Wizarding Gardening Competition, held this year in New Zealand, was that it would be a waste of my lovely Saturday. I never knew that I would walk away with a new respect for the gardeners; my hands are black and blue, and their manicured hands look just as good as their manicured lawns.
 
I’m jealous. I don’t have a green thumb, it seems.
 
Gardening is something that I would never have thought to be competitive, or a competition, or so darn complicated. I learned how to prune a mean Chinese Chomping Cabbage without fatal injuries, came to the realization that no matter how nicely you disguise a Devil’s Snare, gardeners can smell it from a mile away (and it ends up as a pile of ashes), and that Fanged Geraniums are bloody scary. Not only did one try to eat me, but I don’t think I’ll be able to hold a fork for a week. I did come to own a Flutterby bush; did you know they’re nice assets to your gardens?
 
And fertilizers? Don’t come between a gardener and their fertilizer. There were some ruthless debates about the differences between dragon dung and, well…other dung (I didn't stick around that conversation for long), and the merits of self-fertilizing shrubs.
 
But my personal favorite? Honking daffodils. Not only do they drive your neighbors crazy, but they get high marks in the competition. Something about accenting bushes, or tress. Oh? And Mimbulus mimbletonias? People still don’t know what they do. I would love to highlight my favorite division, Contorting Cereals, but in light of my recent article, I want to point a finger in the direction of the Grand Champion of Gardening, Hortensia Gavilbets, and her assistant, Wilbur Hegglesby.

They informed me, after their win, about how long it takes a gardener to prepare. Aside from trying to deny nature’s natural seasons, a perfect garden can take over a year. Sprouts can die, a drought can occur, and gnomes (a gardener’s worst enemy) can infest a garden and completely ruin everything. I never really understood how much work goes into a garden. Granted, the only thing I can grow are weeds, but still.
 
Gardening for these ladies and gentlemen are jobs and hobbies, even hobbies turned into jobs. It takes a lot of effort, and plenty of bruises and sore thumbs, but who knew that every year, this competition takes place?
 
- Candace Smith
Daily Prophet
16 June 2016
 
Residents of Sandwich have found themselves in a state of shock at the discovery of Henry Wallace’s corpse just miles away from his place of residence last evening. The man was reported missing days earlier after one of his neighbors complained about his crup barking incessantly. Wallace, a potions master and collector of rare and exotic formulas, was considered by the Romanian potions community to be one of the better people in the profession.  Henry was allegedly visiting a family member.

To the astonishment of the local community, it appears he didn't get far. It has been reported that his body was found in a nearby field near a muggle’s empty home. “Henry Wallace was an arrogant wanker, always making noise and experimenting. My property value went up with him gone,” said a clearly grieving neighbor.
 
Minister Clagge refused to comment, though a spokesman for the Auror Department did so in his stead. “You may rest assured that the Auror Department is doing everything in their power to find those guilty.” Witches and Wizards throughout the area have openly questioned Harry Potter’s ability to truly keep them safe from the unknown threat. In response, Harry Potter revealed he was unavailable for comment at the time.
 
The seemingly tentative Auror Department, baffled at the events that had transpired involving Wallace, has been helplessly scrambling to keep up. The Department has been struggling for progress despite the protests of locals, obviously discontent with the unwelcome attention.
Daily Prophet
30 November 2016
 
The Minister of Magic’s office announced today that Kingsley Shacklebolt, former Minister of Magic and a hero of the Battle of Hogwarts, has retired after a long and illustrious career. The exact details of the retirement were not disclosed, with the Minister’s Assistant saying little other than the legendary career had come to an end, concluded with the following statement. “It is after years and years of dedicated service that the ministry final says farewell to one of its most senior agents, and wishes him well in his much deserved retirement.” Owls for further comment from the Minister were not immediately returned.

Reviewing Shacklebolt’s career, one’s eye is drawn irrevocably to the second rise of You-Know-Who, when the honored Auror parted ways with the corrupt Ministry of Cornelius Fudge to join with the legendary Order of the Phoenix, and then took a major role in the resistance under the pseudonym of Royal. He was one of the leaders in the Battle of Hogwarts and credited with the death or capture of several Death Eaters. Following the battle he was named temporary Minister and then Minister in full, before eventually leaving the office and returning to his role as Auror under the command of Harry Potter.
 
As he was such a highly trusted and capable agent of the Ministry, one would assume that the Minister would do everything in his power to retain Shacklebolt’s services, what with the growing number of alarming disappearances and deaths occurring in the Wizarding World believed to be perpetrated by the scattered remnants of You-Know-Who’s followers. Asked about losing such valuable experience in a time of crisis, a Ministry insider protested the term. “Let’s be frank, these are just a few isolated incidents caused by some sad freaks with delusions of grandeur. We wish Kingsley well but believe that a shake-up in the Department of Aurors is exactly what is needed to end these disappearances, and with his departure we may finally be able to get such change underway.”
 
Indeed, this departure may be what was needed to get the current Department Head, Harry Potter, to make the changes that will end this string of murders. Only time will tell.
 
Shaklebolt was not available for comment at the time of this release. Requests for comment from Harry Potter himself have been flatly denied.
Daily Prophet
15 May 2012
 
Various reports have come in that a renegade group has set itself up on the WWN (Worldwide Wizarding Network), broadcasting derogatory reports about the Ministry of Magic and the traumas faced by our world. This group calls themselves the Podpeople, and they are not to be trusted.
 
“I love the Podpeople,” says Claudette Bagelle, an annoying nineteen year old girl who the Prophet spoke to on Diagon Alley. “They play the coolest music, and I just love that one guy … what was his name? Bovine?”
 
For all that their popularity is increasing, the Prophet is officially warning the public not to trust ‘the Podpeople’. “They have shown a distressing desire to undermine the respectability of more mainstream media,” comments Rita Skeeter, experienced and beautiful longtime journalist of the Prophet. “It is hoped they will quietly fade out of existence, before they cause any serious damage.