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Wizarding Britain's number one source for news and information since 1743.

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Auror Department to Receive First Budget Increase in Two Decades

Although the wizarding world has seen its fair share of ups and downs over the past twenty-five years, there has been a constant through it all: The Auror Department budget.
  Twenty-five years ago, a string of disappearances rocked the wizarding community, and immense pressure was put on the Auror department by the Minister of Magic to put an end to these crimes and catch the culprits responsible for the kidnappings of distinguished wizards; pressure from the very same Minister of Magic who had announced budget cuts earlier that month.    Harry Potter once commented that he felt as though ‘his hands were tied’ in regards to his ranks being spread so thin. “I wish I had enough Aurors to patrol Hogsmeade and Hogwarts, but it’s just not within the budget,” he'd said.    Well, it looks like his prayers have been answered over two decades later. The Auror department has received a budget increase as announced by the Ministry this month, allowing Potter to hire and train new Aurors, with the purpose of protecting our community more than ever before. This will certainly help as they continue tracking down any of the remaining Death Eaters known to have escaped from the Battle of Hogsmeade and the infiltration of Hogwarts just over two years ago. The group is rumored to have been disbanded, but experts are certain there are stragglers out there biding their time, and Potter's regime will be ready.    There has also been buzz about the Auror Office's revamping of the Werewolf Capture Unit. This unit, tasked with the capture of werewolves deemed to be a threat, has always been handled by the Beast Division (and dreadfully under-funded in the past), however, Beast Division Head, Casseus Cronus, is said to have been approached by Potter weeks ago for his cooperation in bulking the ranks and up-training its current members with Auror specialization. It is unknown whether this is an attempt to calm the thousands of witches and wizards who still owl in about their anger surrounding the catastrophe at Hogwarts with the Ward family, but some believe it is a necessity regardless. Neither Cronus or Potter were able to be reached for comment.   No matter the reason, the Ministry of Magic cannot put the public safety at risk any longer. More patrols have been promised to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and the neighboring villiage, Hogsmeade. Godric’s Hollow and other wizarding villages should also see an increase in undercover patrols. The general budget for the rest of the Magical Law Enforcement departments remain unchanged for now. 

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Triwizard, Tri-Where?

As details of the full extent of the damages to Beauxbatons by last night’s fire become available, witches and wizards across the continent and here in the UK wonder: what does this mean for us? Beauxbatons Academy of Magic was set to host the Triwizard Tournament this year, where students from the three prominent magical schools engage in friendly competition and international networking.   However, with the French arena charred beyond recognition, will the tradition continue? Rumors of the games’ cancellation have already reached the Prophet.   The inter-school competition was last hosted ten years ago at Durmstrang Institute, after being held locally at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in three successive tournaments. Representatives from the British and Eastern Europe Ministries of Magic decline to comment on whether the tournament will be relocated or canceled out of deference to the traumatizing damage of the attack. Sources say Durmstrang is heavily campaigning to relocate the tournament to Scandinavia. At the time of printing, no official information has been released, but the Prophet will keep readers apprised of any updates.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Beauxbatons en Flambé

Just days before Beauxbatons Academy of Magic was due to welcome back its students, they face a tragic loss. While the palace remains intact, the grounds of Beauxbatons have been devastated by what local officials are calling an act of arson. The alleged perpetrator, a Veela and mother of a former student, is in the custody of French officials.   As the authorities investigate, the French press has already begun to speculate about the Veela’s motive. According to school records obtained by Le Monde Magique, the daughter of the alleged arsonist was expelled from Beauxbatons last term for allegedly using Veela magicks in a final examination.   Could this be the cause of the Veela mother’s fiery rage? Was the student’s expulsion justified or an example of part-human discrimination? Send a Feedback Floo-me with your comments and opinions.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Mass Murder Suspect Captured

Aurors have taken into custody Blaise Zabini in relation to a gruesome set of mass murders committed earlier this morning. Details of the murders will not been released to the general public until the victims’ families have been notified, but the death count is anticipated to be high. One witness to the aftermath stated that, “… [Some of the] bodies were unrecognizable. It was gruesome, the byproduct of a mad man.” Aurors were not directly available for comment.

Zabini, a lawyer, has represented over the years several high-profile suspected criminals. His victories in the courtroom outweigh his defeats, leading one frequent rival to suggest underhanded play. There is no proof to support this theory, though his connections within the wizarding world are impossible to deny.

A close friend, Alaric Montague, owner of several exclusive clubs throughout England, was made available for comment following news of his friend’s arrest and subsequent incarceration. His hurt and confusion are evident within the shockingly blue orbs that sit upon prominent cheekbones, blond tresses creating a halo-effect about his angelic face, as he, obviously overwhelmed by emotion, manages a short statement. “Blaise was a long-time friend and confidant. I am shocked by these allegations and hope that, while the facts support the conclusions made by the Aurors, this is somehow one massive misunderstanding.”

Zabini is being held in Azkaban where he will await his trial. It is so far unclear as to what may have prompted his actions. Attempts to question Zabini have turned up no evidence and reports are that he appears to have, “… Completely lost it, ranting and raving about nothing inparticular.” One source claimed, with exasperation, that questioning turned into Zabini displaying his knowledge of the alphabet song. The defense may be hoping to use insanity as a defense and an associate of Zabini’s, who will remain nameless for posterity sake, suggested that, “… [Zabini] may be faking, playing up the idea of a lunatic to escape punishment.” Another coworker was overheard saying that, “He was always mixed up with the bad sorts. It’s no surprise he offed those people. Guilty by association.”

All that can be known for certain is that Zabini is being held in Azkaban and will remain there until his trial. There are no other suspects at this time.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Illegal Portkey and Attempted Kidnapping, Saved By Auror

Crystal Fountain Park, a typically peaceful and safe place for wizard children to play and socialize, was the scene of a potentially dark crime this week. An illegal portkey with a foreign destination was dropped for the park's children to find. No less than nine young children were soon ripped from safety through the portkey. The two men involved were taken into custody and interrogated by the Auror Department, then later released with fines close to 1000 galleons and orders for community service.   "I caught wind of it and took action as fast as I could," said Auror Richard Fowler, who was first to the scene and made the arrests with ease as the perpetrators seemed to freeze under his icy glare. "I can't stand [people] who mess with kids, they won't get far as long as I'm around. They would still be rotting in there if it were up to me."    Richard Fowler, whose demeanor is as cool as his mustache, has been on the special force for 30+ years, and takes his job very seriously -- as one would expect an Auror to do. We asked his opinions on suggestions that the Auror Office only rushed to the scene when they heard Potter's family was one of the children involved:   "It doesn't matter the name," he responded with irritation. He hadn't heard the reports as they were told through the Wizarding Wireless that day, but he didn't seem pleased as some of the misleading reports were quoted out loud. "Whether you're some Golden Potter or John Muggle, my job is to uphold the law and protect the people and that's what I did. That's what I do. Anyone who says otherwise can [redacted]."   The Daily Prophet is happy to report that this story turned out well and that children of all backgrounds are safe. Our hero came to the rescue, and we can only hope this means good news in the future. Read on for news on the Auror Department's budget increase.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Unicorn Born, Joins Puppy Siblings for First Steps

Staff at the Berkshire Magical Wildlife Sanctuary are pleased to announce their newest arrival, born just moments after sunrise on New Year's Day. Winky, the eldest and certainly proudest female unicorn on the grounds, has given birth to a gorgeous silver-haired foal weighing in at a whopping 116 kg. The foal's name was chosen through a public poll released last May, granting this unicorn baby the name of Starfire Glitterbelly (with Unicorn McUnicornface coming in close second and Dude-icorn taking third place). Berkshire states that further name choices will be made internally, but are thrilled with the amount of participation the poll received.   Sources from the highly respected free roam reserve say the birth was a beautiful sight, made all the better by a bright rainbow hovering overhead throughout the event. Also joining Starfire's debut were his six young canine siblings, who ran and played happily beside the foal as he took a step for the first time. Staff explains that the puppies suddenly appeared on the grounds weeks ago and began following Winky around as if she were their caretaker. Winky soon began returning their nuzzles and the odd family has been inseparable ever since.   Berkshire invites everyone to pay a visit to see Winky, Starfire, and the puppies this weekend, and encourages all to bring a galleon or two for donation! Sources say it'll be worth it, and collectively go, "Aww!"

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Part-Vampire Rehabilitation Sparks Controversy

A secretive private rehabilitation facility in rural Cumbria has shocked humans and non-humans alike by revealing its purpose is the rehabilitation of part-vampires to function as human in the magical community.
 
Vasile Petrescu, founder of the Petrescu Rehabilitation Centre, appeared on the wireless this week announcing the first graduates of his year-long programme. Petrescu stated his aim was "to allow part-vampires to disengage from the vampire community and rise above their baser instincts to fully integrate into human society." He claims his three graduates, whose names he has withheld, are now indistinguishable from humans, and that by this time next year at least ten part-vampires will have completed his treatment.
 
Part-vampire advocacy group B.L.O.O.D. released a short statement in response to the news. "B.L.O.O.D. is unsuprised by Andrei Petrescu's bigotry, but we are surprised and disappointed that multiple part-vampires have felt isolated and unsupported to the point of paying a large sum of money to have an integral part of their identity erased. Both the human and vampire communities have failed these people and driven them into the arms of a predatory fraud."
 
"All my patients come to me of their own volition," responded Petrescu in an exclusive comment to The Daily Prophet. "I provide a service which cannot be found anywhere else, and as long as there are part-vampires looking for a positive change in their lives, I will provide it."

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Ministry Urges Public to Speak Up

In a statement to the press on Tuesday, Ministry officials have urged citizens to do their civic duty and report any hint of black market wand dealing or fake wand selling to the authorities.   "The Department of Magical Law Enforcement encourages anyone to come forth with any information regarding the illegal distribution of wands and the creation and selling of counterfeit wands as this can pose a danger to those involved. We advise those who are intending to make wand purchases to do so through trusted sources only. Do not attempt to acquire wands from unofficial dealers, and report any who attempt to sell to you to the authorities immediately. Those who are found to be distributing wands which have been illegally obtained and/or created and sold in a purposefully misleading manner will face criminal charges."   This statement comes at the tail end of reports on the recent break-in at Ollivander's in Diagon Alley which is still reported to be closed to the public pending investigation. It is rumored that there have been countless tips passed on to the Ministry from all over the country, however no arrests have been made as of yet. Further investigations are sure to follow as magical law enforcement prepares to take allegations seriously.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Goblin Tradition Meets New Competition

The opening of the first Wizards First Trust branch in London this month has incited new controversy in the ongoing debate about its stated intent to employ exclusively human staff.
 
Spokesperson for Wizards First Trust, Reginald Kneen, has described the new entrant to the banking sector as "the first and only truly viable alternative for customers who value selectivity and discretion when it comes to who handles their finances, and want to work with a face they can trust."
 
"WizFirst is committed to providing genuine competition in banking and consumer finance, which can only improve the customer experience across the board," Kneen says. Critics maintain that the organisation is capitalising on fear and discrimination to market their services and to diminish the role of goblins in mainstream wizarding society. Representatives of the bank declined to comment on whether part- or non-humans are able to open accounts.
 
In spite of the business' contentious reputation, WizFirst reported exceeding its expectations for new accounts in its first month, and has already begun planning to expand into Europe.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Part-Vampire Rights Group Announces Formation

B.L.O.O.D. has registered as a nonprofit group with the Wizengamot Administration Services. While werewolves, veelas, giants, and goblins have historically been well-represented in the Wizarding world's nonprofit sector, part-vampires have not historically enjoyed the same representation. According to B.L.O.O.D.'s founder, Amorentia Bloodfang, it was important to bring attention to the unique challenges that are faced by part-vampires, such as the fact that they do not have the same magical powers as other part-humans, locking them out of all wizarding schools and many of the jobs that require an education from schools like Hogwarts.    However, outspoken pureblood activists Michael and Insley Jacobin have raised concerns over a nonprofit group forming to protect part-vampire rights. "What if they want to be allowed into Hogwarts even though they do not have magical abilities?" they asked when reached for comment. The Jacobins have lobbied against the creation of the group, stressing that they believe that part-vampires are not a big enough group to need their own nonprofit, and that they are too far removed from mainstream magical society to deserve this privilege.   -----   Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Missing Auror Found Catatonic

Hollis Keen, a 20-year veteran of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement who disappeared over a year ago, was found unresponsive on the shore of River Tweed near Birgham, Scotland. Authorities have not disclosed whether the Auror was working on a case at the time of her disappearance. Harry Potter, Head of the Auror Department, declined to make further comments.   Ms. Keen’s mother, Audrey Keen, released a statement this morning: “Mr. Potter’s treatment of my daughter’s case appalls me. Aurors risk their lives every day for the good of everyone, and as their leader, Mr. Potter should have better measures to protect his staff rather than nontransparent ones to shield his reputation and political aspirations. This also applies to our Minister for Magic, who continued to cut funds over the years even as crimes rose. If the failed break-in at Hogwarts last year is any indication, it’s that our Aurors on the ground could be even more successful with additional resources, all of which is too late for my Hollis.”   Keen was admitted to the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. A source indicated that her condition is stable.   Mr. and Mrs. Keen have released a reward notice of 500 galleons for productive tips regarding their daughter’s former disappearance. This joins their 17-year-old reward notice for information regarding their son Amias Keen’s murder during his tenure as an Auror.   -----   Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Anti-Muggleborn Posters Found in Hogsmeade

HOGSMEADE--As students head to Hogsmeade for their first weekend in the town of the year, reports of posters with anti-muggleborn messages have surfaced. The posters, which residents first noticed early morning Thursday on the block near Madame Puddifoot's, bear an ominous message that students who are not of pureblood heritage will be barred from returning to Hogwarts, and includes an address for both students, and local muggleborn residents, to turn in their wands. The posters are signed by the Skull and Bones Society, which Magical Law Enforcement Department insiders claim is a reference to the Dark Mark that Voldemort's followers marked themselves with.   Hogsmeade officials that were reached for comment urged the public to remain calm, and refused to speculate on whether the posters were a malicious prank or a warning from an anti-muggleborn group. They added that the Hogsmeade weekends that occur regularly throughout the school year would go on according to schedule.     -----   Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Flamel Flees Failing Faculty

Headmistress Arnaude Flamel has departed from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in what the school's board of governors is calling "a mutual decision", in spite of claims she was fired for performance issues.   Flamel's tenure at the leading magical school was plagued with minor controversy, but only the most recent Death Eater attack on the facility resulted in significant pressure on the school board to end her employment. A well-known and accomplished potioneer, Flamel was brought in to improve the safety record at Hogwarts, but critics say danger to students only increased under her administration. Some claim she was even personally connected to key figures in the latest attack and that the school must revisit what appears to be a policy of hiring or promoting only those from old pureblood families into leadership positions.   Arnaude Flamel declined an interview with this paper but released a short statement asserting that she "is making a mutually agreeable move to focus on [her] personal research and work for publication, leaving the tutelage of future generations to rest, as it should, with those who possess a true passion for education." However, sources close to her say she was preparing for another school year as recently as one week ago.   No replacement has been appointed for the position. The board intends to take its time searching for an appropriate candidate, and the existing Deputy Headmaster, Theobald Gawkrodger, will act as an interim head during this period. Purity discrimination groups have been quick to point out this is yet another Head of School from an established pureblood family, but the education and parent advocates who were Flamel's most vocal opponents are cautiously satisfied.   A spokesperson for education reform group Growing Fruitful Futures said "GFF is happy to see Arnaude Flamel replaced with an educator who has given Hogwarts a fifteen year commitment. We hope the permanent appointment will reflect the same attention to experience which is relevant to pedagogy and school administration, not just magical research, and are optimistic about the future of Hogwarts as a premier educational facility."

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Death Eater Trial Date Finalized: Justice Incoming

The date for the final trial and sentencing of confirmed Death Eaters Eadric Carter and Otis Egan has been set for Monday, July 13th 2037. Both men have been held in custody following their arrests last fall during a failed break-in at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Carter and Egan each face charges and subsequent penalties from infractions that range from breaking and entering and illegal use of magicked objects, to numerous counts of reckless child endangerment. Egan is also charged with the murder of Lucretia Sheffield, former Auror, through the use of an Unforgivable Curse.   While this is the first charge held against Carter, whose father happens to be a highly respected professor at the aforementioned school, Egan has several prior infractions on record. Professor Carter declined the Daily Prophet’s request to provide a comment on his son’s upcoming trial, citing that he is focused on the needs of his family at this time.   -----   Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Shackling: Is Flamel Pushing the Limits?

The current commander-in-chief at Hogwarts, Headmistress Arnaude Flamel, has done well to ensure the safety of her students from outside forces, but who’s protecting the students from internal threats? Since Flamel has stepped into power at Hogwarts, rumours have been floating about regarding the nature of her disciplinary methods. Shackling, what many students and parents originally thought to be a scare tactic to keep the children in line, have become a real, tangible, and archaically cruel punishment at Hogwarts.   At the end of the school year, three third year girls were caught sneaking into Flamel’s office on a dare. As punishment, they were shackled to the ceilings of the Great Hall, publicly humiliated in front of their peers and made out as examples for the rest of the day. The shackles were additionally charmed to burn their wrists if they moved too much.   This type of corporal punishment, popular back in the 1800s, seems outdated in today’s modern world. “I can’t even begin to describe what kind of damages a corporal punishment of this size does to a child’s psyche,” Rose Willoughby, healer, child psychologist, and author of The Delicate Magical Mind, lamented during a sit-down interview with me. “Even the muggles know better. It really begs the question which society, magical or muggle, is more advanced if this type of punishment is deemed acceptable at Hogwarts.”   We were lucky enough to get in contact with one of the aforementioned girls’ mother, who will be kept anonymous for her child’s safety. She was, predictably, outraged when she heard the news: “She claims to care about the welfare of our children, but how good can her security be if three thirteen-year-old girls are capable of breaching it? These barbaric punishments have nothing to do with protecting our children and everything to do with distracting us from the key issue: what is Flamel hiding that those girls accidentally stumbled into? The whole thing stinks of a cover up. I, for one, will be in contact with the board of governors and I urge every Hogwarts parent to do the same.” Unfortunately, this is not the first shackling since Flamel’s promotion, only the first that has reach our ears. Perhaps your child has already been shackled once and has been too scared to tell you. Then again, how much do we really know about what goes on at Hogwarts these days?   The Daily Prophet has previously celebrated the achievements of Headmistress Flamel. While we do commend her on maintaining the safety of our children, we are also committed to reporting the truth. The truth is your child could be the next to be shackled to the ceilings of the Great Hall. The new school year is fast approaching, so as you send your child off for another riveting year at Hogwarts, remember this: While we can rest well knowing our children are safe from Death Eaters and other outside threats at Hogwarts, who will keep them safe from the heartless hands of Headmistress Flamel?

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Death Eaters No More?

In the wake of a lethal Death Eater attack on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the nearby village of Hogsmeade, the Department of Magical Law Enforcement is calling for celebration.   On October 4 a group of Death Eaters conducted a two-pronged attack in the Scottish Highlands causing immense property damage in Hogsmeade and injuring numerous Hogwarts students. Lucretia Sheffield, a veteran auror and mother of one, has been named as a casualty.   Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Dorian Metcalfe, calls the weekend a victory in spite of the cost.   "In addition to those aurors were forced to kill to prevent further harm, several Death Eaters were successfully apprehended and taken into custody. While the department mourns the loss of an auror and feels for her family, we are also aware this is the potentially the greatest victory we have seen over these violent forces in many years."   According to Ms Metcalfe, these arrests may be the key to dismantling the Death Eater organisation, which has been terrorising the wizarding community for decades. Other sources claim the majority of Death Eaters were neutralised in this encounter and this is already the end of the Death Eaters, but Ms Metcalfe declined to comment.   Donations for the family of Lucretia Sheffield can be mailed directly to the Auror Office in London.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Parents for Progress Push for Change

Parents' groups and education advocates are calling for major reforms to safety procedures at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the wake of another devastating Death Eater attack.   Headmistress Arnaude Flamel was brought in four years ago and is generally considered to have improved safety and security at the school. However, the attack in early October, in which children were severely injured and an auror was killed on school grounds, has led to claims that her security record is based purely on coincidence.   Founder of advocacy group Parents For Progress, Mallory Selwyn, claims Flamel's tenure has actually harmed students, rather than protecting them.   "When our schools lock up students in the name of sheltering them they become little more than jails. A child cannot learn in an environment of constant fear, whether it be of punishment or external attack, and they cannot learn to care for themselves in the wider community if they have been cloistered away in an environment which would sacrifice education, freedom and progress for a hollow sense of security."   Parents for Progress has been an outspoken critic of the Hogwarts Board of Governors, Arnaude Flamel and prior head Arthur Weasley, but formerly supportive groups such as Families Protecting True Magic and the Mandatory Registration Movement have also publicly expressed concerns about the headmistress' ability to live up expectations.   In an official statement the Hogwarts Board of Governors has announced that it supports its administration team and has no current plans to remove any staff. Independent sources claim that at least one member of the board is scouting candidates to replace both the headmistress and deputy headmaster.   -----   Have something to say? Comments on Daily Prophet articles should take the form of letters to the paper, or at the very least be a short roleplay of your character's reaction after reading the article. They should be written IC as either your character or an NPC close to them, such as a parent. Any comment deemed inappropriate will be removed.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Ruby Lee's Magical Mysteries: Poltergeists

Dear Ruby,
How does one become a poltergeist?
- Mischievous, Leeds   Hi Mischievous,   Short answer: you can’t, so you’ll have to satisfy your desire for chaos before you die.
Long answer: poltergeists aren’t ghosts! This is one of those cases where we have something waddling, quacking and suspiciously duck-shaped but it definitely is not a duck. Poltergeists were never living humans; they’re amortal spirits of chaos tied to specific locations. We call them “non-beings”, along with boggarts and dementors, and unlike ghosts they can both affect and be affected by the physical world and are also vulnerable to many of the same spells as other not-dead things.   We don’t really know what causes the birth of a poltergeist, although many theorise it’s simply due to a lot of chaotic energy localised in one area. There is some work ongoing now in Germany where researchers are attempting to intentionally recreate different kinds of chaos in different areas to see if we can predict where a poltergeist will be born. Their next experiment will probably be in seeing if they can get rid of them…   Yours, Ruby <3

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

The Price of High Fashion

In the midst of latest fall issue of Diagon’s Bazaar, the debut of various collections and the sudden surge in controversial trends have caused an uproar in the socially-conscious wizarding population. Various organizations such as Wizards for Beast Rights have banded together to not only boycott any and all sales of the offending products, but to also hurl accusations left and right. Coupled with bamboozling numbers and suspect facts, their loud complaints have been a source for bad publicity for the wizarding world’s most famous designers.

Picture this: a flock of peaceful demiguises, bred and hunted for their highly coveted pelts. These endearing little animals live in the East Asian wilderness and are known for their innate ability to turn invisible. It is their hair that enables them to simply disappear from sight.

The Fur vs. Faux debate has lasted for decades with no resolution, and it has been taken to a new level as many witches and wizards have been considering the poaching of these beasts for their hair. For years, demiguise hairs have been used in the making of high quality invisibility cloaks, but it no longer stops there. As the latest trends have gathered momentum, the wealthy have taken to a new style of prêt-a-porter: woven in with the cloth is the invisible hair, creating elaborate and abstract patterns that are a source of wonder, awe, and confusion. Right now, it is cool to strut about head-to-toe in Sior, partially invisible to the rest of the world.

But what is the cost? The safety and welfare of these creatures are at stake, and the reputations of labels and designers at stake as activists dedicate themselves to being a pain in the rear. Are these designers guilty of one of the most heinous crimes imaginable to man? Are they the next Dolores Umbridges of the world, letting poor, defenseless magical creatures suffer in the name of fashion?

On the other hand, could it be just another high price of fashion? Can we trust the whims of the masses to put a stop to this trend, one and for all? We will have to see.   By Talia Ayers

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

The Truth About Herbert Longbottom

Following the interesting discovery that savage bully Herbert Longbottom and Hogwarts delegate Apple Capalet used to date, WW99 FM hosted a talk with the Hufflepuff student to reveal the truth about the son of legendary war hero Neville Longbottom. For those who missed it, an excerpt of the interview with the clearly traumatised delegate can be found below.

——

Interviewer: So, Apple, can you tell us exactly what was going through your mind when Herbert first asked you to be his girlfriend?

Apple: Well, I was in - um - third year? Something like that. So obviously it was kind of a big thing, I mean, being asked out by a boy. And so I think I kind of said yes because I was excited, and he seemed nice, but that was before I really knew what he was like to other people. I sometimes wonder what I was thinking when I look back on it, you know?

Interviewer: Yes, we know. Now Mr. Longbottom’s bullying nature has become evident, we predict that he will be unlikely to find himself any girlfriends in the future.

Apple: I would strongly advise any girl he ever asks out to refuse and run a mile.

Interviewer: That’s a bit harsh. Why would you say that?

Apple: It’s good advice! I think when I first started going out with Herbert he tried to be nice, by like meeting me after class and stuff. Then he got really horrible and started yelling at me if I did something he didn’t like, and then he started making me carry his bag around everywhere like some sort of skivvy. I had to do some of his homework too and he was the year above me so it was basically impossible, and when I did it wrong and he got T grades he would like… get in a mood with me. He tried to hex me one time, but thankfully I got away. He was really angry.

Interviewer: …Hex you? That seems awful. I personally would have never hexed a girl when I was at school. Could you tell us more about what happened?

Apple: I can’t really remember it very well. I think - yes, we were in the middle of the lawn at Hogwarts and he told me I got him a T in his Herbology homework. And I mean, his dad used to be a Professor of Herbology at Hogwarts! Couldn’t he have just got an automatic O anyway? But like, it was really weird ’cause he told me he’d disappointed his dad, and then he told his dad that he hadn’t actually done his homework and I’d done it and Professor Longbottom didn’t believe him. So yeah, he was really angry and I said I didn’t know anything because it was fourth year Herbology and I was a third year. So he just sort of got angry and aimed at me and yeah.

Interviewer: That definitely doesn’t sound very gentlemanly. How did your relationship end?

Apple: People say I was cheating on Herbert with Roman, a boy in Slytherin in my year. In hindsight I probably should have been cheating with Roman, because he was hot and I dated him after and it was the best year ever. But Roman sort of decided I needed a bodyguard, ’cause we were friends and I told him about Herbert trying to hit me. And then Herbert sort of took it the wrong way and he went really mental when he found out and he beat up Roman and put him in the Hospital Wing for a week. It was horrible to watch, especially because Roman was my friend. I was kind of glad it ended though, because I knew Herbert wasn’t going to end it because I was like his skivvy or something.

Interviewer: Ouch. And what has Herbert’s luck with girls been since?

Apple: He’s had two other girlfriends, I think. Anna was just as horrible as him, I think he had influenced her too much because they were in the same house. And Abrielle is a bit weird, I think she probably just wanted to date Herbert because no one else wanted to date her.

——

Anybody interested in hearing the full hour-long interview with Hogwarts delegate Apple Capalet can tune into WW99 FM on March 15th at 7:30pm, where the interview will be replayed in the run up to the mysterious third task.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Hogwarts' Hopes: Twelve Teenagers Take on Triwizard Tournament (Part One)

As the spotlight falls on the most outstanding of the British wizarding youth once again, you might find yourself wondering who exactly these twelve young whippersnappers are, shortly to be sent abroad as an example of Hogwarts’ educational prowess. Well wonder no longer! I was lucky enough to be granted short interviews with every member of the Hogwarts delegation earlier this week and let me tell you, Durmstrang is not going to know what hit it.

Those of you familiar with the professional duellist Avril Capalet might be tempted by her platform prowess to put your money on her younger cousin, a blonde Hufflepuff named Apple. However, this bundle of sunshine – and my quill is dripping with irony as I write that – is about as far from her determined and down-to-earth relative as you could get. Apple itches for “fame” and to “escape from all the losers at school” by competing in the tournament. While she might not seem the typical Hufflepuff, her fellow delegate Kaleb Anderson seems to fulfill all the expectations of his house. A Gryffindor, by all accounts confident and with a thirst for adventure, the sixth year is yet to be seen without a smile on his face. Whether it is a cheering charm gone wrong or just his natural persona is yet to be uncovered.

If you like your men (if you could call them men) a little more rough around the edges, look no further than seventh year Dictys Ator. Strikingly handsome, the Slytherin delegate with a particular talent for Transfiguration draws the eye naturally. Described by one anonymous female as “the perfect guy,” Hogwarts’ loss will surely be our gain as a newfound fondness for the library this year gives him an edge on the competition both intellectually and aesthetically. Perhaps he has study sessions with one Lilia McEvans, a Ravenclaw classmate and delegate who also takes pride in her academics. A dedicated student, the Prefect even states that she would donate any prize winnings to the staff of Hogwarts as a “token of appreciation for their continued efforts to educate us.” Lilia refuses to speak ill of any of her fellow delegates and even-handedly manages to negotiate her way around controversy. With a pretty face and flowing locks of strawberry blonde hair, we at the Daily Prophet doubt that will last for long.

More of an enigma is one of the youngest delegates, Slytherin Isabella Carter. Something of a lone wolf she admits that it will be “interesting” sharing her quarters at Durmstrang with her fellow delegates. And when probed for her strategy going into the tournament she replies, “I can’t reveal everything, can I?” with a wry smile. If there’s a femme fatale in the Hogwarts bunch it is bound to be this brown-haired beauty, who gives off the aura of always being one step ahead of the rest. Hufflepuff Quidditch star Ettie O’Malley brings us to our half-way point. Although not the most aggressive player, her absence will surely be felt on the pitch this year. If we are to assign characters to the delegates, O’Malley is surely the underdog. Understated and unassuming, the Prefect is the kind of girl easily lost in a crowd of larger personalities. We all know however, that it is often the quiet ones you have to look out for.

If this has whet your appetite for all the gossip from the Hogwarts camp, don’t miss my follow-up piece where we discuss the remaining six delegates, including the eldest son of the legendary Neville Longbottom.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Hogwarts Triwizard Tournament Delegation Announced

The Triwizard Tournament has been a beloved tradition for the trinity of schools – Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang – for nearly 700 years. This year, hosted by the elusive Durmstrang Institute, it has promise of danger and adventure, thrilling tests for our brilliant youth. Just last night, a reliable source, speaking in anonymity, has released the following list of students who will be traveling to the frosty lands as Hogwarts’s delegates:
  Apple Capalet
Briony Prosser
Ettie O’Malley
Alice Bogswead
Lilia McEvans
Will Kilmarnook
Herbert Longbottom
Kai Fireblader
Kaleb Anderson
Chase Eaton
Dictys Ator
Isabella Carter

Just who are these teenagers who have been tasked with representing their school? As the weeks unfold, we here at the Daily Prophet vow to bring you the latest of news as they face tests of courage and character at Durmstrang. If the last tournament is anything to judge by, then we hope to be on the edge of our quills just as we were when Miles Weber dove off the Astronomy Tower as a canary to safety.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Ask Amy: Have problems? Let me make them worse!

6 September 2024   Dear Amy,
I have a wart on the end of my nose and it’s rather unsightly. I have tried many a beautifying potion to remove it but it simply grows back. Please help.
– Warty in Worcester.   Dear Warty, Maybe your wart is there for a reason. Have you ever thought of that? I don’t know what that reason could be, but you should think on it for a bit and try to come up with something. Or you could just try and work the wart. Perhaps you could make it look cool or something. But if you really want to get rid of the wart, however, try going to St. Mungo’s to see if the healers there can help you out. I hear they know all kinds of ways to cure problems.   Dear Amy, I’m afraid my sister is a squib. She is six years old and has not yet shown even a bit of magical ability. I even gave her my wand to play with and all she managed to do was get it stuck in her ear. Should we give her away to a family of muggles? ~Julia in Bury St. Edmunds   Dear Julia, I honestly think that your sister is a genius. Perhaps she is hiding her magical ability from you just to annoy you. Maybe she doesn’t like you and would rather be sent off to live with another family so she wouldn’t have to deal with you any longer. Sounds like she’s a Ravenclaw to me! Just wait and eventually I’m sure you will see that she is a witch. Just watch out for when she could do magic, she might try and get you back for sending this in.   Dear Amy, Why do my friends think it’s strange to be obsessed with wizarding pop sensation Dustin Tieber? They always tease me about it at mealtimes and someone drew a moustache on my poster with permanent marker. Now he looks like an old muggle dictator. What can I do to show them how wonderful he is? -Brian, Definitely not from Hogwarts   Dear Brian, I am most certain that people are doing this to you because you are a boy that is obsessed with Dustin Tieber. Had you been a girl, I’m sure the taunting would not have been nearly as bad. If you talked less about him and focused more on the people around you, I bet things will get better. I also suggest that you take down the posters you have as him, as that will just result in more moustaches being drawn on his baby face.   Dear Amy, Why is it 2024 and there is still blood prejudice? It’s not really fair, is it? I mean, people shouldn’t have to worry about being disliked just because of what they were born. It’s not their fault anyway. And everyone should be equal since there are smart and dumb people in every crowd, etc. Is there something we can do to stop this? ~Ruby from Blackpool   Dear Ruby, I don’t really think there is much anyone can do. You can’t just make people think what you want them to think. If they believe that muggleborns are bad, they believe that, and they have the right to. There is no law about what you or anyone else can believe in. We can’t go around policing thoughts. However, if you see someone around you being mistreated because of their blood status, you could step in and try to stop it. (For the record, I’m half-blood, in case anyone was wondering.)   Dear Amy, Is there such thing as a part-troll? Because I swear a kid in my year is half-troll or something. –Ashley from Ashbourne   Dear Ashley, I’m actually not sure. I do find it weird that I got two questions about blood status this week. Anyway, I would ask a professor at the school since they must have records on this sort of thing. Or, better yet, visit the library and look it up. If you find out, let me know, I’d love to know the answer.   Dear Amy, Recently a wild dragon wandered onto our grounds. I think it’s just a Common Welsh Green, but it’s only a baby and I really want to keep her. She has only burnt down one of our five out-buildings so far. Do you think it’s safe to keep her tied to a fence on our lawn? It’s near a stream so she can drink. -Tiamat, Aberystwyth   Dear Tiamat, You sound like an idiot. Dragons are supposed to be handled by professionals ONLY and you are no expert. Everyone knows that dragons are dangerous! Where did you grow up? And did you even go to school? I would report the dragon to the Ministry of Magic straight away so it can be taken to a reserve before any muggles see it. You better hope you don’t get arrested.   If you’d like to write to Amy, please send a letter to: Amy, Advice Columnist Daily Prophet Offices

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Horoscopes - May 15-22, 2019

Your stars with the Daily Prophet’s Delores Pudderswyth   ARIES
Steady! Your impetuous nature may have led you one step too far this time. Or twenty! Did you really have to go so far, just to succeed? It’s time to make amends, Aries.   TAURUS
Ahhh, isn't the sunshine beautiful? The birds are singing, the grass is green, the squid is swimming merrily in the lake. Just don’t forget that sometimes there’s more to life than mere external appearances.   GEMINI
The moon is in alignment this month. You know what that means, right? It means you’re a genius! Go for it. It’s a perfect idea!   CANCER
I have some peachy keen news for you. You’re about to come into absolutely masses of cash! And if you don’t? You’re obviously not trying hard enough.   LEO
You know what they say about paranoia. Just because you’re paranoid doesn't mean they’re not out to get you. Watch your back.   VIRGO
Throw away the rulebook Virgo. It’s time for LOVE!   LIBRA
Diplomacy is one of your very best traits. Unfortunately, it won’t help you with what’s coming at you this month. Might I suggest a very firm hex instead?   SCORPIO
Methinks it’s time to go investigating. You never know what you might find.   SAGITTARIUS
Have you ever dreamed of being a rebel? All the signs point to this being the time for you to rise up. Just remember - nobody ever got anywhere by being afraid.   CAPRICORN
Unfortunately, a friend has just betrayed you. It doesn't matter whether you find out or not - it happened. I think you should just go mope somewhere.   AQUARIUS
Do you know any Sagittarians? If not, find one. Quickly. The two of you need each other.   PISCES
Things aren't looking very good for any intellectual pursuits this month. No matter how hard you try, it seems you’re just going to get things wrong. It might be time to try a different approach.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

 

Why Flying and Potion Brewing Don't Mix

17 May 2019   Flying broom fanatics went into mourning last night as the tragic death of Filberius Flyte was announced. One half of the famous inventing duo ‘Flyte and Barker’, Filberius was in the process of flight-testing his yet-to-be-released ‘Twigger Vista’ when an object, later identified to be a cauldron, fell upon his head from the air.   “It’s those bloody blackmarketeers,” says his wife, spunky Delores Flyte (herself a ‘dabbler’ in broom invention and creator of the new ‘Try-Trigger’, a training broom for toddlers which can be attached to their parent’s broom. “They’re always flying overhead – on carpets no less! They think they can bring their shoddy cauldrons in here – and the Ministry just lets them get away with it!”   Regardless of where the deadly cauldron came from, it is clear that Flyte’s partner, Geoffrey Barker, will have to continue work on the Vista by himself. Despite the trauma of his friend’s death, he vows that fans of the costly brooms will have reason to rejoice soon enough.   “As you know, we have eight brooms under the company’s belt already – ranging from the world-renowned Twigger 90, all the way to the Twigger XP. We’re confident that our customers will enjoy the luxury and ease of all Twiggers before – along with one or two brand new features, and a fabulous kitchy design!”   As a long time fan of the Twigger myself, I just hope they don’t leave off the self-straightening brush!   The Ministry of Magic could not be reached for a comment on the wayward cauldron.

Daily Prophet

Daily Prophet

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